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Anxiety attack lasted 3 days
I had an anxiety attack that seemed to last 3 days, very little to no sleep at all. Was in a very weak frame of mind, and took 4 pills on Friday. This relapse has actually stregthened my resolve. They didn't do a thing for me, but make me feel guilty and ashamed. I am back on track now.
Things in my life are really bad right now. I am in a position of losing everything I worked all my life for. The thought of starting from scratch again at my age is almost more than I can stand. All I know is the pills will not make this better, but I guess I tried to run away from it all by taking them. It didn't work. I know so many in the new construction business that are hurting just like myself. This is such a terrible thing to watch. So many in such hopeless situations. Sad sad.
I have some .5mg Lorazepam to take if I get stuck in an anxiety attack again. Just knowing I have something for anxiety makes me feel better. I will only use them when absoloutley nessesary.
So this was my confesion. Feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Mary
Things in my life are really bad right now. I am in a position of losing everything I worked all my life for. The thought of starting from scratch again at my age is almost more than I can stand. All I know is the pills will not make this better, but I guess I tried to run away from it all by taking them. It didn't work. I know so many in the new construction business that are hurting just like myself. This is such a terrible thing to watch. So many in such hopeless situations. Sad sad.
I have some .5mg Lorazepam to take if I get stuck in an anxiety attack again. Just knowing I have something for anxiety makes me feel better. I will only use them when absoloutley nessesary.
So this was my confesion. Feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks for listening. Mary
hey, my hubby was a bldg inspector too. we moved from vegas... biggest mistake of my life. did while i was taking narcotics... luckily we kept the house. my husband lived in northern calif. the pay in calif. may be better than in vegas, but the cost of living can not compare. sin city has a lot to offer a family, more so than the stix of idaho (wher i am stuck at now...). i hope to move back and re-claim my old life. vegas has a lot of good inspection opportunities.
hey, my hubby was a bldg inspector too. we moved from vegas... biggest mistake of my life. did while i was taking narcotics... luckily we kept the house. my husband lived in northern calif. the pay in calif. may be better than in vegas, but the cost of living can not compare. sin city has a lot to offer a family, more so than the stix of idaho (wher i am stuck at now...). i hope to move back and re-claim my old life. vegas has a lot of good inspection opportunities.
Don't feel bad. My husband is a building Inspector here in California........It's horrible. The worst year ever. We have virtually no work at all. Due to the economy and foreclosures We are not building here either. If we can get any commercial project it is a blessing...........we are all hurting here in Cali. too. There talking 2010......omg. I don't know what we are going to do. Relying a lot on a side business we have (karaoke) if it was not for that.........oh, boy. We have dropped from 130,000 a year to maybe 60,000 this year if we are lucky. Vegas is going to be booming over the next ten years, so we may be moving to sin city..........not looking forward to that. I hope things get better.........I wish you the best of luck.
Nauty.....................
Nauty.....................
Mary, I know how you feel, trust me. But let me tell you, losing everything and starting over is not the end of the world. Try to remember that you define who you are, not your job, people you know, or items around you.
I don't think the above will help you now, but try to remember it either way come the future.
I don't think the above will help you now, but try to remember it either way come the future.
thinking and praying for you. i am glad your curiosity has been satisfied. as addicts we look to feel that high that we felt when all this started. i am sure we all wish that we had never experienced that. just know that you will never find that again. it is over for all. i remember a post a few days ago, some poor person took 30 vics to try for that feeling to no avail. now you know and can move on. search for those natural endorphins that make life special. i know you are going through a hard time right now in your life. when it turns around, and it will, i hope you experience the pure joy that life can bring us. like falling in love, beginning a new career, a new puppy whatever the challenge i pray it stimulates that "spot" in you that makes you happy. praying for you...leslie
Hi. I think you are a very strong person to come and admit what happened. You now know the pills didn't do a thing for you, except cause remorse. If you have the strength to know that, than you can make it through the problems you're facing. My life was totally upside downbefore I went into detox. And now my husband is taking care of it ALL and things are very hard still, but little things keep happening to make it a bit better. It's like 2 steps back , one step forward. That relates to a lot of things in life. I really hope things will start to get better for you. Thinking of you, Jen
Hi Mary. One day at a time. It was hard for me to say I used again after everyones support. You were so helpful with your post to me after I used those 5 pills, 9 days ago. I hope we both have learned that picking up will never improve our lives, only send us back to the lousy feelings we had when we came here. No amount of painkillers can make me...feeeel. they only make me feel like ****. We are still praying for all of us. Love and Peace
Calamity
Calamity
i think like ibkleen does, something will always come up that will be so tough, you may have to change whatever you were doing and try something else..
I surely hope things get better for ya'll there...prayers going your way.
I surely hope things get better for ya'll there...prayers going your way.
Thank you all so much for your comments. I guess I didn't post because I didn't have anything positive to say to anyone. Thanks again
Tammy, You live only an hour north of us. We are decorative painters. I thought we were going to be allright through season, but it's not turning out that way. New construction has just completely stopped here. Wich was our bread and butter. I so hope you are right that things are going to turn around. There are not even many jobs in the newspaper to apply for. Thanks for your responce.
Tammy, You live only an hour north of us. We are decorative painters. I thought we were going to be allright through season, but it's not turning out that way. New construction has just completely stopped here. Wich was our bread and butter. I so hope you are right that things are going to turn around. There are not even many jobs in the newspaper to apply for. Thanks for your responce.
I told Mary not to do it. But she did it anyway and thats how I ended up holding 2 pills. We have sister #3 who is useing, maybe not addicted yet, but soon. We stopped by to see her and so the story goes. I don't think Mary will do it again. She got nothing from it and her curiousity has been satisfied. She better not do it again! And it was very, very hard for me knowing she was highish on them. As for the other sister, shes seen what we've been thru, but theres no real talking to her about the dangers. In one ear and out the other. I'm worried about her.
I am here if you need to talk . PLZ talk to us when you feel like this . that is what we are here for .
PM me whenever you need . I am gald you have gotten right back on track.
avis
PM me whenever you need . I am gald you have gotten right back on track.
avis
Mary.....
The other thing I wanted to say (Geezz..I just don't know when to shut up), is that there will always be things in your life that will cause you pain or anxiety. Love, loss, the dog ate my homework, etc. As addicts we need to learn to handle them after we put the drugs down. that is where the work comes in. You ALWAYS here me say that it is easy to get clean, it is not easy to stay clean.
You need to do something different this time, and whatever it is is your choice. But, please do something. Your problems are far from over and I fear this will happen again. You are such a special lady and a huge help to the forum. I don't want to lose you.
More Hugs..............
The other thing I wanted to say (Geezz..I just don't know when to shut up), is that there will always be things in your life that will cause you pain or anxiety. Love, loss, the dog ate my homework, etc. As addicts we need to learn to handle them after we put the drugs down. that is where the work comes in. You ALWAYS here me say that it is easy to get clean, it is not easy to stay clean.
You need to do something different this time, and whatever it is is your choice. But, please do something. Your problems are far from over and I fear this will happen again. You are such a special lady and a huge help to the forum. I don't want to lose you.
More Hugs..............
Anxiety is tough Mary. I understand as I suffer from terrible anxiety. I agree with IBKleen. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back up. I'm sure that confessing was hard to do. The important part is that you learned and can go forward.
Mary,
I was worried about you and thought something was wrong---I didn't assume that you picked up, I just knew something was wrong.
I wish you would have talked to someone before you took the pills, but that is water under the bridge. I am sorry.
So now you go forward. As long as you learned something from it, it is a good thing. But know that you don't have to do that.
Please talk whenever you are overwhelmed. Let it all out.
Keep your chin up lady. Big Hugs...........
I was worried about you and thought something was wrong---I didn't assume that you picked up, I just knew something was wrong.
I wish you would have talked to someone before you took the pills, but that is water under the bridge. I am sorry.
So now you go forward. As long as you learned something from it, it is a good thing. But know that you don't have to do that.
Please talk whenever you are overwhelmed. Let it all out.
Keep your chin up lady. Big Hugs...........
Im sorry Mary, I hope things look up for you soon. I had a horrible nigt last night sleepwise myself. Ive been up most of the night and just trying to read but not very successfully, my anxiety and RLS wouldnt let me concentrate. I also was craving pills last night very bad. I was doing so good, Im now starting day 7 here and it seems to be getting worse now instead of better. ugh.
whats going on in the new construction business? Is it slow where you live? We are just getting over it. At least I hope its over. We have more work every week now. Im in Florida. We install kitchen and bath cabinets. I had anxiety the whole time. You are going to make it. By posting your confession and letting everyone see what youre dealing with, will make you stronger. God bless, Tammy
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