Day 5 of my 5th relapse in 2 years !!!!!!

[Dave1963]

Day 5 of my 5th relapse...this time 3-6 10/325 norco's for 6 weeks before I flushed the bottle !!!  Why do I keep going back...lord only knows!!  The wd's this time aren't so bad.  I remember back in March when I quit CT, the wd's were absolutely miserable :(  I can blame the doctors for prescribing them to me by just a simple phone call, but I had to make that call.  I'M the one that had to pick up the script and take the meds.  So, the blame falls on me.  I can't begin to tell you the guilt I felt going back on the meds...but I did !!!  I have a girlfriend that's battling breast cancer and she is doing this all without any pain medication at all.  She has been such an inspiration to me :)  I felt so guilty because here I was taking pain medication for apparently no good reason and I look at the courage she has to beat a life threatening disease.  I quit this time for her, but most importantly for me, so I can be the man she expects me to be to support her through what she's dealing with.  I don't know what her outcome is going to be, but I know the time I have with her is precious and I can't waste it !!!!  

[Dave1963]

Thank you so much for your kind words and support :))  It's a slow process, but it's one I'm determined to make.  Thanks again Lesa...Take care and God Bless...Dave

[10356]

Hi Dave. sorry to read about your relapse but Happy you flushed them and are back on track !! I wanted to add my support and to let you know that You are doing great ! I'm also glad the fruit is being tolerated :) you are going to have those happy memories back in your present just keep the course.. Life is simply to short and to precious to waste on something that does not matter such as the self involvement we find ourselves in while active. Keep that positive attitude ! warmly lesa

[freshstart01]

Ugh. Not looking forward to being sick at work. Mist be done though.

[Dave1963]

I went back to work on day 3.  With me, it helped to keep my mind off the withdrawl symptoms.  It's a little harder to concentrate when you feel crappy, but it is possible :)  What really helped me was drinking LOTS of water at work, I mean like 5-7 bottles throughout the day.  I also ate canteloupe and watermelon, fresh fruit didn't seem to upset my belly.  Hope this helps ???    Dave :)

[freshstart01]

Dave,
Are you able to work through your withdrwals. ? I have a new start date- tomorrow. With not 1 or 2.  ....just wondering if will be bearable at work????????  The minor withdrwals.

[dominosarah]

This is a WE thing.  We pay it forward~~

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

[Dave1963]

Sara...Thank you so much !!!!  It's an awesome feeling to have caring people such as yourself here on this forum, it has helped me tremendously.  

Take care and God Bless...Dave :)

[dominosarah]

You do possess the strength your gf has, you just have to find it.  Next time when you sit in the quietness, think about how great your life is going to be, now that you are clean.  What used to be is done and over, all you have is today so make it a good one.  Get going on some aftercare.  Using is just a symptom of this.  Focus on the journey, not the destination.

Sending healing thougths your gf's way~~sara

[Dave1963]

I to get the sore stomach, still dealing with it on Day 6, it's part of the withdrawl process and it will get better, not worse :)  As far as the loose stools, YES and Immodium works wonders!!!  Five weeks isn't bad, so the withdrawls won't be so extreme, but you will have them to some extent, each person is different.  If you want to stop, I would recommend trying CT.  With me days 2-3 were the worst and I started to feel better on day 4.  Just make sure you are drinking lots of water and try to keep active.  I found that bland foods, for at least the first week, worked best for me.  Bananas, rice cakes, cranberry juice (natural) and ginger ale helped me alot.  It *****, but I can tell you that you will feel 100 times better off the pills.

The Emotional part is also part of the withdrawl process and that too will pass.  Getting outside and keeping active helps with that part.  With me, I liked to find a quiet spot outside, sit, close my eyes and think about my life before I became addicted to these pills.  All the good times I used to have before I became preoccupied with counting pills, wondering if I can stretch my meds till the next refill, or waking up and looking at the clock waiting to take my first pills of the day.

If you want off the pills bad enough, you can do it !!!  If I can help, please let me know.

Dave :)

[freshstart01]

To Dave,
I also get a sore stomach after a few days of not taking any. I didn't understand why. Is that the withdrwal? It's a soreness. Does it get worst? Or just like cramps, etc? Also any loose stools? I want to stop. It's been about 5 weeks, but not everyday. Do u think mine will be bad? Emotionally I become a wreck.

[Dave1963]

Thanks Jim...I'm so glad your wife beat it and yes she is a survivor !!!  My girlfriend is a huge inspiration to me, the courage she has is truly amazing !!!!  I just wish I had half her strength, but it's coming..lol !!!  I can't let her down, I won't let myself...Thanks again Jim and God Bless...Dave

[Dave1963]

The wd's this time aren't so bad.  I was taking 3-6 10/325's a day for 6 weeks.  The only thing that bothers me are the stomach issues...I did it CT just like the other times.  I don't think tapering would work for me so I just stop and flush what I have left.

[Oxy480Jim]

Sorry to hear about your girlfriends troubles. My wife went through the breast cancer ordeal too, and beat it,  she's a survivor. Your girlfriend will be too, as will you, so look forward to a long time together!

[freshstart01]

Sounds like q good idea thereallmaj. I need something that is gonna work! That might be it. It's getting to 30 days that is hard.

[therealmattj]

Quinn brother, it is not your fault. When we detox for 6 days our bodies feel better and it's a trick the opiate plays on us. We intend to overlook how our mind feels. You must must must go past 60 days of being clean so you can make rational and logic choices on this. You keep relapsing because you are still under the spell. My biggest trigger for relapsing was being scared that I would never be able to take a pill again. When people have galsses of wine with dinner , I'd rather pop a norco. Or when friends go to happy hour for margaritas, I'd rather go and take a percocet. It is our drug of choice and our release. So to comprehend you will never be able to have that again or ever ever ever take a pill for a social thing, its a  harsh thing to think about. The trick that worked for me was to think to myself, pills and medication will always be there, always can get it, for the rest of my life at any time I can get it if I needed to. With that being said, I seriously convinced myself that  whats a year from my life with no drugs no addiction, its not going anywhere, I'll take this as the getting super healthy phase and later down the road I will play a little. This mentality put more focus on me and subconciously lessened my anxiety. The point is, by the 2 month of being clean I mad it out of the bubble, above from being underwater and my entire views and thoughts changed and I could not ever imagine relapsing. It disgusted me even thinking about it.

[freshstart01]

Dave,
How are your withdrwals not so bad this time? Did you taper? And you took 3 to 6 a day for 6 weeks? Did I get this right? Just trying to understand different withdrwals.

[Dave1963]

Thanks Gnarly...I will most definitely do that.  I like you, were prescribed for back pain and the feeling just took over.  I know aftercare is very important and I intend to seek outside help....Thank you and God Bless...Dave

[gnarly_1]

HI I know we beet this drum a lot but the key here is aftercare ....ask anyone with any significant clean time and most will tell you it is due to aftercare.....addiction dosent end just because you quit taking the pills a mater of fact quiting is just the beginning of your walk to sobriety...for most addicts we need a map of how to do this there are many avenues to take we often recamend N/A or A/A because there free and the 12step programs work if you work them if you prefer one on one consoling there are addiction therapists or substance abuse consllors  aoo will put you in the direction of recovery keep in mind the pills are just a symptom of the disease it has deeper roots and you have to dig down to why you needed to self medicate in the first place...for me it started with back trouble but soon I found the euphoria of the pills to be overwhelming its different for everyone but the same also
threw aftercare you will explore the reasons and learn the skills to stay clean things like triggers and cravings will be talked about the fact that you need to leave all persons places and things that remind you of using are a few mor this dosent need to be a merry go round of getting clesn using getting clean using you need to break the chain it is very doable but very few will do it alone seek out the help you need and you will find this isent so hard has its been for you there are no garentees but aftercare works for most give it a try good luck and God bless.......Gnarly  

[quinn1970]

I'm in the same boat as both of you, day 2 for me today but this is my fourth detox since october.  I can deal with the WDs and always do because i know they are not going to last but after that is the hard part. I always trip up and can never make more than two weeks.  Anyway, Good luck to both of you, best wishes!

[Dave1963]

Thanks Mark...I can make it past the wd's, my problem is 2-3 months down the road.  This time I told both my doctor and pain specialist what my problem is and they both agreed not to prescribe those to me again.   I'm so fortunate that I never had to turn to the streets to buy my meds and that thought never crossed my mind.  Stay strong Mark and God Bless and lets kick this together!!!!

[Mark42190]

I know what you mean I relapsed a bunch of times and took around the same amount you did.  I am on day 4, but it is always when I am past the bad withdrawals is when I relapse.  Lets hope us both can do this!! Good luck God Bless!!