Aa
Emotional rollercoaster
It amazes me how one day can be so great and the next just s**ks. I can barely keep myself together. I feel so alone. My daughter's bday party is falling apart. Being the new kid in town i only have one kid coming! I just feel aweful. I know that's not the root of my problem but it's definitely what set me off. I just can't quit crying....
I think that's great that you want to do it. And when you're making those cakes and snacks, ENJOY that time. Don't worry about everything coming out perfectly or how others will perceive them. YOU need to enjoy this time while baking, and it will show in the final outcome of those snacks. Just enjoy it and don't let yourself care about what others think. This is YOUR time kels and your daughter is going to appreciate any effort you make - your effort (and your love doing it) SO outweighs the outcome. Remember that. :)
Thanks for your amazing words of encouragement. I will try to let someone else handle stuff. Idk though. I have a friend coming Friday to help prepare. I have to start making the cakes and snacks, i always make them. I know it'd be easier letting someone else do it but i want my kids to know that I did it. Thanks again. :)
I know what you're saying. We have my hubby's family here all the time throughout the year and it always used to stress me out. Until I found a new way to deal with it...
I let my hubby handle the "control" part of those ocassions - I treat myself as if I were a guest at someones else's party! That may sound strange, and may sound hard to do, but it's really not, and this mindset works for me. Just let the day go where it will, don't try to control every moment of this day (I know, as an OCD sufferer, this may seem impossible, but just give it a shot - what have you got to lose?) Is the house going to burn down if you're not running around making sure everyone is having a great time the entire time they are there? No, it's not, think about it this way - when you go to someone's home for an occasion - do you sit back and let the host decide what you're going to do while you're there? No, you don't, you mingle, or sit, or eat, or whatever, and just enjoy the day. So try to look at it this way. This one b-day celebration isn't the "be all and end all" of all occasions, so relax about it. The day will ultimately go fine so try to imagine where you're head will be at after everyone has left. You'll be relaxed at that point right? So start that thinking early and you'll be surprised how calming that can be.
Hang in there kels I have faith in you. Now it's your turn to have faith in YOURSELF! :) p.s. and some meditation the morning of the party might help too. it helps me SO much, never thought it would but the effects from meditation are long lasting, and surprising. and i think you said you do practice meditating, so use it when you need to! :)
I let my hubby handle the "control" part of those ocassions - I treat myself as if I were a guest at someones else's party! That may sound strange, and may sound hard to do, but it's really not, and this mindset works for me. Just let the day go where it will, don't try to control every moment of this day (I know, as an OCD sufferer, this may seem impossible, but just give it a shot - what have you got to lose?) Is the house going to burn down if you're not running around making sure everyone is having a great time the entire time they are there? No, it's not, think about it this way - when you go to someone's home for an occasion - do you sit back and let the host decide what you're going to do while you're there? No, you don't, you mingle, or sit, or eat, or whatever, and just enjoy the day. So try to look at it this way. This one b-day celebration isn't the "be all and end all" of all occasions, so relax about it. The day will ultimately go fine so try to imagine where you're head will be at after everyone has left. You'll be relaxed at that point right? So start that thinking early and you'll be surprised how calming that can be.
Hang in there kels I have faith in you. Now it's your turn to have faith in YOURSELF! :) p.s. and some meditation the morning of the party might help too. it helps me SO much, never thought it would but the effects from meditation are long lasting, and surprising. and i think you said you do practice meditating, so use it when you need to! :)
I do expect it but it just came iut of left field today. I was good most of the weekend but I just couldn't pull myself together today. Heck, I could barely make myself doing my daily house routine. I think the fact that I'm going to have friends and family at my home this weekend, and me sober, is overwhelming me. I'm extremely OCD with my life. I don't function well with kaos or in crowds actually. I've always dwalt with crowds by doing drugs. Crowds send me in a panic. I'm the type of person who tweeks if there's an uneven amount of ice cubes in a tray. I've been trying to get myself prepared for this but I don't know if I am.
Hi kels,
That's what they mean about withdrawal/recovery being non-linear. You'll have some good days, then some bad, then some good, and so on and so on. Just knowing this should help you with dealing with it. Don't expect too much too soon. It only leads to frustration and a feeling of failure (not good feelings during withdrawal). I found that as soon as I learned it would be this way, dealing with it became SO much easier.
And try not to worry so much about your daughter's b-day. The pressure parents put on themselves to make their kids party a "perfect" b-day when all I think they really need is the love from their family. As long as your daughter knows you love her, and as long as YOU know you are truly "present" for them during their celebrations, that's all that really matters right? Don't let all of society's pressure on doing the "BEST" b-day celebration ever deter you from what's really important. That your daughter knows how special this day is and how special she is. Think about it - do YOU remember you're 7th birthday in terms of how many people were there? I doubt it. But you DO remember the love you felt. That never goes away.
Hang in there kels - it will keep going up and down for a while. And as long as you expect it, dealing with it will be much more manageable. :)
That's what they mean about withdrawal/recovery being non-linear. You'll have some good days, then some bad, then some good, and so on and so on. Just knowing this should help you with dealing with it. Don't expect too much too soon. It only leads to frustration and a feeling of failure (not good feelings during withdrawal). I found that as soon as I learned it would be this way, dealing with it became SO much easier.
And try not to worry so much about your daughter's b-day. The pressure parents put on themselves to make their kids party a "perfect" b-day when all I think they really need is the love from their family. As long as your daughter knows you love her, and as long as YOU know you are truly "present" for them during their celebrations, that's all that really matters right? Don't let all of society's pressure on doing the "BEST" b-day celebration ever deter you from what's really important. That your daughter knows how special this day is and how special she is. Think about it - do YOU remember you're 7th birthday in terms of how many people were there? I doubt it. But you DO remember the love you felt. That never goes away.
Hang in there kels - it will keep going up and down for a while. And as long as you expect it, dealing with it will be much more manageable. :)
Dont be to hard on yourself. Your a good mom. Some moms could care less about how their own kids bdays turn out. Look how bummed you are. Your a great mom. Getting yourself back on track is NOT letting her down. I sure hope you feel better. I hate being sad.
Week two was like that for me too. Extremely volatile emotionally. Just hang tough, it will get better. You're day 10 or 11 I think? Mine was the worst in that time frame. After the WDs I thought I was home free, this ambushed me too. I'm sure your baby girl will be thrilled with her party, you'll be there....straight! Hang in, brighter days are coming.
Taken opiates but not my main prob. I'm very much the upper girl. Coke, speed, prescript diet pills (up to 20 a day). I'm just a mess right now. :-/. I just hate letting my baby girl down
You must be a week or so into quiting opiates? I felt the same way for a couple weeks actually. Maybe even longer. I have 36 days clean I more emotional than I can remember. The days get better. Give time a chance to heal you. Sorry about your daughters bday party. I have a baby girl too. Make the best of it. The root of your problem will make ALL your problems worse. It does s.ck. I know. Keep your head up and sometimes you just gotta wait for tomorrow to come.
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