Marijuana Addiction

[BenG8533]

Please somebody help me...I'm about ready to give in. I re-dedicated my life to Christ back in November and stopped using all drugs right there and then. However, after several months, I gave in and began smoking again. Ever since, I will go on binges, then stop and ask the Lord to forgive me, but then I find myself doing the same thing over and over again. No matter how hard I try, I cannot stop for good. After awhile, I just gotta have my weed; I go crazy if I don't. It is always on my mind: the smell of it, the act of lighting up a bowl, the wonderful feelings of euphoria and the music...music sounds soooo great when you're high. I cannot help myself and I don't know if I'll ever be able to break this cycle. When I'm not smoking, I'm drinking, because I need something in my system to help me function. I was on all sorts of prescription drugs for my severe depression, from Paxil to Wellbutrin, and then finally Adderall. The Adderall worked great but I cannot take it as it makes my heart palpitate wildly. I've run out of options and have turned to booze and marijuana as a result...nothing works. Therapy, yoga, exercise, eating right, etc. does nothing. What should I do? I can literally feel the presence of God leaving me, and I'm scared to death.

[21flavours]

You will feel like this for at least a year.  What has happened to you physically to cause an addiction is that you have cannabinoid receptors in your brain. And the more and the longer you intake cannabis, your brain will make more and more receptors (we also have opioid receptors - so a good example of what I am getting at is the old story of people chasing that first hit.  Looking for the same amazing feeling that they got the first time they did the drug).  So if you stop doing a drug after 2 or 3 times, or you only do it, say 2-3 times a year, your brain will either NOT make more receptors, or the extra receptors will disappear after not using for a long period.  
But if you do a drug for a long time or daily, or quite often, your brain will make more and more cannabinoid receptors and more and more dopamine and endorphine receptors (your brain’s feel good receptors) and it will take a LONG time for your receptors to get back down to a normal level.
The only things that I can think of that will help will be to:
1)slowly but regularly cut back on the pot, but it WILL drag the whole healing of the brain out longer, but it DOES work.
2) cut the pot cold turkey and either exercise like crazy which will fill a lot, but not all of your dopamine/endorphine receptors because you have made too many.  And your empty cannabinoid receptors will drive you crazy but you will get some relief from partially filling your dopamine/endorphin receptors.
3) Go on anti depressants that are specifically dopamine/endorphin agonists to fill those receptors (but it will defeat your goal of shutting down those MANY extra receptors you created.  And once again your empty cannabinoid receptors will still mess with you.

The big part of addiction is struggling to stay clean long enough to get those extra receptors in your brain to get back down to a normal count.  Only then will you feel like you did pre addiction.  You have messed up your brain,  and it will take 10 times as long to heal the addiction as i did to become addicted.

As for the religious aspect:  God made our bodies and he put those receptors there, and he put the addictive plants on our planet.  So addiction is a path that god put in front of us in the same way that he gave us free will, and oops, you took the path filled with strife, but god put that path there for a reason that we can’t understand.  Being addicted does not make you unworthy of god’s love, especially if he sees that you are truly, in your heart fighting it.  In the christian bible, it says it’s ok to drink wine, but in moderation basically.  And IMO, wine can also mean drugs.  And god knows you will fall many times.  It’s ok.  You are good and you are worthy.

[Student_of_Knowledge]

From my experience and research the only way to quit is to go cold turkey. It may help to lower the frequency and size of dosages leading up to going cold turkey. Try only smoking after 8pm for a week, exercise your self control and you will realised that you have more control than you think. My main tool was exercise and food. My appetite was severely askew for a good week and other symptoms persisted after that, but I focused on eating anti oxidants, staying hydrated and working out intensely to get the oxidants out of my body. It also helped a lot to let someone know what I was going through to add a level of accountability and get support. I could list advice for ages because my biggest help was researching to know what I’m going up against. Any questions just ask. Remember, once you get through withdrawal it’s only up from there! Freedom from dependency is the greatest feeling.

[chillipeppa]

BEn you wee darlin. first of all god is all forgiving and he will not leave you if you have already asked him to be with you.
God loves addicts, alcoholics, everyone, and anyone who will turn to him. he loves us all, we are human and mistakes can be made.keep up your prayers.
Find reasons for giving up dope, Do you want to give up?? do you have a job. do some volunteer work thats always good for humbling ourselves.
Stop being so hard on yourself. Go for long term satisfaction in areas of your life rather than the instant fix. maybe that will help you. and as with all addictions get yourself some good strong support from people who have been were your at. your never alone when you choose recovery.
good luck and god bless

[Savas]

Keep in mind I'm NOT speaking against your beliefs. Your new found religion is a fine thing and can be a useful asset to your life...

But...

Many addicts turn to religion and use it like an alternate high/obsession. That initial feeling of the presence of God is very strong. It's like being in love for the first time in a new relationship.

But like most new loves, it fades (but doesn't disappear) but it does change. It becomes something deeper but more subtle. you also have to work at that relationship with God, just like you would with a wife or husband.

Usually the pattern your describing means that "honeymoon" period is over, and your cycling through various negative obsessive behavior trying to find that original high/feeling/connection.

I'd say as a quick comment (got to get to sleep!) that you should consider some inner reflection on your past. Try to look at yourself as a stranger would and see what's causing you to feel the need to chase that feeling...or run from it.