FLUSHED THEM, ITS OVER

[bewitched_queen]

I did it. I listened to MikeinFrance, Ricart70, bama....its over. Today I am now 28 hours clean from ALL opiates. My last 20 Norco were flushed. I'm sick mentally, I'm sad...I feel like I've lost my best friend. But I will get over this. My physical agony is over, due to a very quick taper over 3 days with a total of 10 norco. It wasn't fun. But I'm determined to be stronger than a pill. Not for myself, truthfully I don't care much about myself & havnt in a long time. But I'm doing this for what I DO care about, my children. Pills will never stop me from being involved with them like I could be ever again. I'm still mentally weak, but today I feel hope. Never felt that before in this battle & I've never been happier to say that now I am thinking of a life without opiates. Just like I lived before this nightmare. I owe more to my children than a pillhead as a mother. Wake up call heard loud and clear.

[bewitched_queen]

G'nite Mike. I'm hoping it gets bedtime around here soon lol thank you

[MikeInFrance]

Lovin' how much your outlook has changed in these past days! It will do you so much good and you'll be able to appreciate it once you push past the physical part of it. I need to lay down (11:10pm now) but let's definately talk tomorrow! And just try to focus on the fact that this HAS to be done in order to get your life back and see clearly once again! It's so worth it!

[bewitched_queen]

I know everything you're saying is so true. I still feel miserable. It's so hard. But i am determined not to fall back. I never want to feel this bad again. I've smoked mj for years, it ***** to run outta smoke but nothing like this. This has been a lesson for me that I hope lasts a long long time.

[MikeInFrance]

I don't know I how I missed this post but I am truly happy for you today!  You made a tough decision and definately the right one. Your attitude sounds great too and that's so important for you to have! You know you won't feel so hot over the next couple days but I am confident u will get past it and be such a stronger person physically and mentally because of it! You owe yourself to do this the right way. Because without this you can't be that better mom that I know you will be! Keep posting so we can see your amazing progress!

[NeverDreamed]

So proud of you!!   You can do this.  Like Leann said, i'm flushing my toilet in your honor, a show of support as you take this journey to recovery, this next step in getting clean.

We are here for you friend!  

xoxo

[bama88]

Dont you feel so proud of yourself. its days like these that build back your self esteem

[ricart70]

Great job!!   now you can get better.AWesommee!!

[LostNoMore]

Very nice BW!!!!! Good for you! I found ONE norco under my bed late last night. I grabbed it, looked at it, had a brief delusion that I could take "just one" because that's all I had, but immediately flushed it. One would be all I need to fire up my addiction and........no, I don't want that. GOOD FOR YOU!!!
I'm vacuuming the house today, thoroughly.

[bewitched_queen]

Thank you apike :) I'm going to be fighting on thru this.

[apike31108]

You will make it. Email me or message me anytime. I'm here for you.

[bewitched_queen]

Woohoo!!! Thank you Bama <3

[bewitched_queen]

Jlannspr, I relate so much. That's one reason I feel this forum has helped, you can't explain that love for your pills to a nonaddict because they just don't get it. They're the lucky ones imo

[jlannspr]

This statement describes me so much, I got out of bed ready to take a pill.

"Believe me when I tell you I loved my pills like my closest friend, lover, relative, confidant....they were what made me get up every morning happy."

Seeing it in writing puts knots in my stomach. Best of luck, and hang it there. Just don't look back, resist the longing for that "upper" feeling. Keep posting.

[bewitched_queen]

Paws is post addict withdrawal syndrome I believe. I hope this isn't very bad for me but you know, I've faced this & I'll face that too, if it comes... I'm kinda new too soready4 lol so one of the more knowledgeable will hopefully help us

[bama88]

five golden stars for you..

[bewitched_queen]

kk1303... I am. It's really hard to think of eating but I am drinking lots of powerade, vitamins, water...

[soready4]

YAY!  but what are PAWS?  
And as a newbie, shall I start a new thread each day or stick with my original one?

[bewitched_queen]

Apike, you're doing so great!!! I've had to soul search and ask myself a lot of hard questions.... but I think I've got this now. No more. Oh I still want to, but as much of me that wants to, the other side is stronger this time than ever before. We can do this sister. I will never ever forget how hard this was to battle either. I never want to go thru this again.

[apike31108]

I am so proud of you! I'm on day 8 today :)

[kk1303]

Congratulations! Just remember to make yourself eat healthy, drink water, take vitamins, keep yourself busy.

[bewitched_queen]

Sharon, I'm grateful to be an inspiration to you, or anybody today. I feel like today I can do this. This minute, this hour, I can do this and so can you. Believe me when I tell you I loved my pills like my closest friend, lover, relative, confidant....they were what made me get up every morning happy. This is and will continue to be the hardest thing I've ever done but my mindset is different today. My hopes of a pill free life seem closer than they ever did before. I always wanted it, just never enough to stop. Who wants to stop anything that makes them feel so great? I do. They are taking me down a road I don't want to go down. I made the choice to stop before I lose everything that I care about in life over a pill. I hope you all make that choice too.

[Sharon0255]

Awesome you are a miracle and your children are blessed. Stay close and post often you inspired me today.

[bewitched_queen]

Thank you!!! I feel miserable but relieved if that makes sense... relieved more because somehow this strength I didn't believe was there, has come to me. What did not feel possible yesterday feels not only possible today but likely. Yesterday I hated myself for being weak and taking opiates...today I feel weak for not flushing those lil bastards sooner!! Wow.

[NorthEast213]

AWESOME!!!!  Just remember that 1 day you will remember that moment as the greatest moment of your life.