Husband Still Impatient- Feel Like Running

[Lar16]

Last night, we had a family blow-out.  First we had what is called an IEP at my teenaged son's (who has an emotional disability) school, which was emotional and tough.  Then, I had a crying jag when putting away Christmas decorations because a box I have been trying to save because it has my late father's handwriting on it fell apart.  And then my 18-year-old daughter got into it with my other son (aged 14) who she seems determined to both goad and hate.  After trying to mediate and neither one of them letting up, I lost my temper, and dealt with a sobbing son for the next hour.  All worked up, I couldn't sleep (not that I've done that much lately anyway) and remarked to my husband that our household has really fallen apart in the last year (my step-grandson lives with us too and I love him but he's three and hard to handle) and hubby besically said it is because of me.  I stuck to my pain med dosage (oxy and vic), never snorted or abused, drank too much on occasion but so does he, and now it's all pinned on me.  I know the last few weeks have been hard with the wd's but, other than that, I think I've been okay.  I have a chonic disease which I know is challenging, too.  I told him this morning I needed to get away for a while and he flipped, running away from your problems, spending money we don't have (we have enough), yadayadayada.  I have psych appt today and want to leave afterward.  I've been married for 21 years but feel like it's all falling apart.  Help!

[buttercups]

First off, I am so proud of you for staying clean through this!

I think everyone above gave you great advice. Time alone is good. But you can't run away from your problems. I hope your appt today with the psychologist helps you better sort out your feelings.

And it's hard, but remember the stress will only make your disease attack your system more, honey. I've been thinking about you a lot the past few days, and please know you're in my thoughts and prayers.
Pm me if you'd like to talk some more, k?

[house1]

Do you want to know the greatest thing about "Recovery"?
You realize that you get a second chance at life. You get to know how someone feels who have had a near death experience feels.
Sometimes addicts loose everything materials as well as trust and love with their own families they loose there cars, there jobs there self esteem.
But do you know what? "Recovery has a funny way of bringing the dead back to life and when that happens you tend to appreciate it just a little bit more. The husband the Mother and Father the brother and sister the grandmother the grandfather that you took for granted will seem a little bit more special to you again and you will look at things just a little bit different at least I did and I thank the good Lord for allowing me to come back to life because as I used that needle and popped 10 thousand pain killers I was surely dead!

[GoingToMakeIt]

Time alone is good. Running from things is not. After you settle down, talk with your husband and see if you can work things out.
I hope things get better.

[Louhoo]

In my opinion EVERYBODY deserves time to themselves. I think that especially moms or caregivers in general need me time. We all need to decompress. After giving all day and pretty much all night with children and husbands and all the other people in our lives that "need" us, we quickly become emotionally drained. Making sure that you take care of yourself, your own needs, is vital.

I take one day a week and set aside time for yoga, reading, or whatever I decide to do....that can't be interrupted by anyone or anything. My family knows this and respects it. I learned about all this the hard way. Taking care of teens, working 50+ hours a week at family owned restaurant, and taking care of my mom with cancer all with no break for me caused me to have a break down of sorts. My FM flared up so bad I couldn't get out of bed or put clothes on for weeks and I was no good to anyone.
Now I'm not saying that a whole day once a week you are exempt from all responsibility, but for a couple hours at least. I hope your app. with therapist goes well. Good Luck.

[traveladdict]

Wow! You have allot on your plate. I also feel like I need some alone time. Time to rest and just reflect back and look towards the future without distractions.  My wife said I could go on a trip alone and she was going to stay and deal with some things here. (That was before I let her know about the use). Now the things here are not that important and she wants to go along. What I am going to do is let it settle down for awhile and reapproach the "alone time". With all you have going on maybe for now you can go for a drive and sit somewhere alone for awhile and think. They don't understand all the emotions rising to the surface for us at this time.

[IBKleen]

Just remember--wherever you go, you take YOU with you. I don't believe there is such a thing as a geographic cure.

I hope you feel differently after your appointment. Good Luck.