Aa
Im so scared 2 (I can do this)
Hey guys horrible night up now n have been since 2 just push ups over n to stop chest spasming a lil got a couple hrs sleep tho just restless... But body so tired it got some.... O man.... "I won't back down"
Where is everyone its bout time the site "picks up" do I gotta do it for u guys..?... K here we go....I LOVE ROCK AND ROLL... Put another dime in the jukebox baby....
I'm learning to fly but I don't have wings... Coming down is the hardest thing....
Yes you do...Dont focus on whats happening (as much as you can) and focus on your dreams :)
Methadone is a beast of a different nature damn....I would a rather maintained with street drugs... This synthetic ******** HATES letting go but its all gone now just gotta finish healing.. Thank u weaver I told heather I got to make something of myself I gotta be the number one sales teller/leadteller in all my market I used to be I like to win and I have plans on doing so.... Winning this.... Winning my freedom to go use these people skills I know I have.... I will do this....
Hell taught me mAny things, no matter what, sanity is worth it. I should be working, yet you are more important to me. Religion is for those afraid of Hell, spirituality is for those who have been there. Keep your focus, so many miracles are right in front of you. Take life by the balls and make it yours, you know you are on the right path. Hold onto that truth, you know it's true, accept it. You are right where you should be, focus on your potential. Limitless, that is what I think your future is!!!! No joke or sympathetic feel good comments!, I beleive in YOU!!! I'be been wrong before, but I think you have what it takes. You are on too of this, by many years. What a wonderful life you have coming!!! I'm jealous of your potential, what an amazing thing!!!
Agreed. My mind doesn't want to try to concentrate on that. It seems very pointless and boring. Maybe even depressing. Do something else. Anything else. Talk to us. Sing the songs. Meditate. Find a project for your mind.
I walked through the garden. Appreciated the life and growth I saw there. I have no regrets. I'm thankful for the opportunity I have had in the whole experience.
You are healing from the outside in.
I am healing from the inside out.
But we both have the power within us.
KNOW THAT!
You are healing from the outside in.
I am healing from the inside out.
But we both have the power within us.
KNOW THAT!
Weaver,
I have lurked for about 8 months. I KNOW it's time. I also Know I was doing what I had to then, and I'm doing what I have to now. Life has knocked me down enough times that I'm pretty good at pulling myself up by the bootstraps and moving through what I have to. And I'm old enough to be thankful for that!
I have lurked for about 8 months. I KNOW it's time. I also Know I was doing what I had to then, and I'm doing what I have to now. Life has knocked me down enough times that I'm pretty good at pulling myself up by the bootstraps and moving through what I have to. And I'm old enough to be thankful for that!
That means a lot too... U call n me an inspiration well that's awesome... I wasn't trying but he way I can help while feeling like this....
Thank. You weav's my man, that means a lot I hope so.... And mojo hope ur doin better than I am I still got a lil methadone that was supposed to be last two 5 mg doses but I wanted to challenge myself stopped earlu... I sleep with em on nightstand next to daily vitamins.... Just to make myself know... Just to be able to look over n say "F u its been 72 hours I don't need you, sorry its too late to turn back now bucko" ....as my late grandpa that passed away about a yr ago...."skkkt skkkt"(its in the cheeks)..... that is next tattoo I get down below tats u see in pic(a self portrait of him cuz that's my family arm its got sis's names in a banner and "Family" in sacred heart n is all one big quarter sleeve I'll add him to it for that reason he's family n I love him.... O n I got moms initials on chest didn't leave out moms.... Ha "owe my achy back"
When you're ready, you are ready. I wish I could cut sources, it's not possible for me. Doctor's love to "Help" around here. Friends too. There is no escape from resources, but there is no escape from me either. I don't care, I love the bright shade, it's better than any pill. I took enough pills to kill a few people, yet nothing feels as good as a glass of tea, good music, and a shady grove. Progress over perfection, that is my saving grace. I also continue to remind myself, "I can't make it easy, so I have to make it worth it." Man, that really fits my life. 14 months and still have no regrets, methadone will never rule me again. No doubt, no looking back, I know there is a better way. The other thing I always remember, "No matter how bad a problem is, drugs CAN make it worse." I have no regrets, that is a blessing it itself. I am so excited to be there with you on the other side, it's so close, I can hear it coming. I hear it in the music.
Here's the song I'm playing over and over right now:
Well, I met an old man dying on a train,
No more destination no more pain,
Well, he said, "one thing before I graduate,
Never let your fear decide your fate."
~AWOLNATION "Kill your Heros"
I'm not letting fear decide my fate. No flipping way.
Well, I met an old man dying on a train,
No more destination no more pain,
Well, he said, "one thing before I graduate,
Never let your fear decide your fate."
~AWOLNATION "Kill your Heros"
I'm not letting fear decide my fate. No flipping way.
There he is!! I was hoping that guy would hurry up and show up!! I just brought the dogs out to the backyard. I'm in the swing. Beside the garden. Beautiful peacock wind chime hanging. Slight breeze. Perfect.
I have total access to hydros. My best friend died of cancer recently. My boyfriend has cancer. They are all around me. It was so easy to cover up my hurt with them. But now I'm ready to be healthy the right way again. Let my body and mind heal. It's time for us to face this one and win.
I have total access to hydros. My best friend died of cancer recently. My boyfriend has cancer. They are all around me. It was so easy to cover up my hurt with them. But now I'm ready to be healthy the right way again. Let my body and mind heal. It's time for us to face this one and win.
You are healing every minute, what an inspiration. You came here ready to give up, now you are the inspiration so many are looking for. Do what it takes, you can take what it does, freedom is yours for the taking. Rock on!!!
Basically thats what I told myself it was the flu and it will go away!!
Made it a little easier
Yes the shade is good music better
Made it a little easier
Yes the shade is good music better
Not sun so much actually a lil eh bout it in shade with perfect delta breeze in northern cali n Pandora blarin in my ears best I feel during day....
I was in the sun a LOT and I think it helps!! I know it does!! I slept on the beach once I think it was day 7...It was ALL I could do to drag myself there! I sprawled out amongst the fiddler crabs
i need to be out in the sun!! i'm ghostly white....lol but it's cloudy here in FL.... :/
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Classic rock is my music too. It's the guitars for me! They speak to my soul! I find I sleep easier when I put pandora on SRV radio!