Trian..I have been so worried about you for the last while, I haven't thought of using once!!! Thank you man...you may have jsut kept me sober this hour!!!!!
I feel the same way as you do: more talkative, outgoing, easier to get along with, etc when on the pills. But on the flipside, I don't remember going a long period of time WITHOUT taking the pills....so it's unfair to say that it does indeed make me a better person. Shouldn't we give ourselves a fair chance (not just a day or 2 without them) to see what and how we really are like? It seems that (at least for me)....I lost who I really am a long time ago when I started taking the vicodin....I do believe we can be who we want to be without relying on the pills. It's going to be hard....I don't know how long it will take to feel better again and be "glad" we aren't taking them anymore. But I hope it's soon.
The big problem with the vicious cycle that develops is that, at some point, the hydrocodone will not make you feel better or friendlier. You will take it just to attempt to feel normal. You will need to deal with the problem at some time. Nobody can sustain a large narcotic habit. Trust everyone here. The best time to deal with it is now. Before you hit some rock bottom and lose everything that you have worked for.
You ask "Why not take it?" - - valid question. Do some research on the physical effects of long term use on your body. I have been a liver patient for 13 years - and the hydrocodone/acetaminophen is part of the cause.........end stage liver disease is really pretty ugly. And socially you will want to withdraw from activities that you enjoy now. It makes you want to isolate yourself. Exactly what are your plans for the inevitable time that comes when you need a dose every 4 or 5 hours to avoid the crawling out of skin feeling? You say that you dont see how you can make it through this day without one - - The truth is that you cant make it long with them...........
I love the opiate high.....i am not even going to lie!! I feel like i teach better and parent better and drive better.....but I almost lost my teaching lic. for missing too much work and having to take time for medical leave to rehab. that is the nasty paradox.....it feels good when it's good...my insane brain says...I can do it differently this time. I will only take x amount on x days...blah....funny how that has yet to work for me
Well I am the Director of Operations here like I mentioned before, but I have a Masters Degree in Psychology. Why is this relevant? I worked in a mental hospital for eight years. I kicked ***, I was the best counselor they had until Katrina hit and we lost our jobs. When it comes to getting counseling, it does not work for me! I know all of the answers to these questions. I am my own worst enemy. My mind can out think itself and can justify things so well! I know this stuff is bad for my liver, hence my cold turkey toss on Friday. I have not taken any but I feel like I am going to have to have something daily or regularly for this anxiety. I tell my girlfriend, I DO NOT choose to have this anxiety. Friends will ask why do you have anxiety? What is wrong with you? I have never seen anyone go up to a cancer patient and ask why do you have cancer?
Trian...have you used in the last hour or so we have been talking??? I know you cannot just stay on your computer all afternoon, but whatever works, right??? Do you mind if I ask, how old are you?? kids?