day 8 feeling abit down

[fpvfem]

Hey everyone the site has seemed to change I can't get to my profile anyway I'm still feeling strong but abit down I figure that's normal I go to see my doc today for my results for the cervical cancer back today if I have to have surgrey I'm gonna put it off for as long as I can

[ImDONENoMore]

Hi fpv - I'm sorry you're having a down day.

Unfortunately that's part of it.  It's kind of a mourning feeling - at least it was for me.  The loss of what we thought was our best friend.  Lies, of course, but they're still real feelings so this is normal.

And it will pass with time - I do believe that withdrawal is non-linear - meaning a good day, then a bad, then good, and so on..  So expect that as you continue moving forward.

And please - do what your Dr. recommends as far as surgery is concerned.  Your health is the most important thing so please don't put off something if it needs to be addressed right now, okay?

When we quit the pills it's about taking better care of ourselves and that means doing whatever necessary to stay well.  Try to relax and please let us know how you make out at the Dr.  :)

[ricart70]

Hey just hang in there and it will definitely get better.Wishing the best for you on your test results.

[rnangel]

Hey there :o) Congrats on day 8! That is a tremedous accomplishment.

I agree with ImDONE..You are grieving many losses right now. I'm reminded of the stages of grief developed by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross:

1. Denial  2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance

Not everyone goes through all of the steps or goes through them in a linear fashion. Some steps may be bypassed entirely, others may be experienced in a different order, some may be re-experienced again and again and some may get stuck in one.

It helped me to put my emotions in perpective when some days I felt like a three-headed freak LOL. Early on in recovery I felt 'spring loaded' and my loved ones would either stay away or come bearing gifts. Well that may be a little exagerated ;o) There are some good resources on here as what supplements can help with neurotransmitter repair.  If you continue to feel like a seratonin depleted mess please go see your doctor. Persistent feelings of 'BLAH' is treatable.

You are also dealing with a health-illness transition and that, no doubt, causes stress. I would have loved to stop the life clock when I detoxed from dilaudid. But nope, life continues to fly at ya with mach speed. On a positive note...the longer you stick with it the better things get. Good things WILL happen. I think it's the law of the universe or something.

I'm sending heartfelt hugs and well wishes your way. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

[ImDONENoMore]

Wow great post mangel - I FELT better after reading that!  Thank you. :)

[fpvfem]

Morning guys thanks I wanna be abit stronger before surgery but if it has to done I'll do it but I'm going to tell them everything again they don't seem listen when I say I don't morphine tablets they say there good for ya pain yes they are but they not good for me,my life n how I wanna live I can't do anything once a have a pill but want another n so on I'm so done with them pain meds I haven't felt like the way I have in the last 3 days for nearlly 8 yrs I know me I won't be able to say no if I get that script
Much love guys from me to you yous have n r helping me stay strong without yas id be back there mwah I'll let yas know what happens xoxoxox from oz

[paleflower]

Wish you the best sweetie, talk to your Doctors for alternatives in pain management. If you say no morphine they have to listen to you. You've been so brave and strong for 8 days, there must be something non-narcotic that helps with the pain. Please keep us posted, God bless

[rnangel]

Thanks...I needed to hear that from myself too ;o) Sometimes I need to put my thinking into perspective. Some days are a real struggle..there's just no getting past that. Positive affirmations will get you everywhere. Sharing in our triumphs and tribulations has healing power. That's why I love this forum~we cultivate our own happiness. If that doesn't define empowerment then I'm lost for words....hahaha kidding!...I'm never lost for words :o)

[rnangel]

When I was nursing in surgical I seen many women have good pain control with Toradol suppositories. OPIATE FREE. It is a powerful anti-inflammatory and when placed near the surgical site it WORKS.

I know you're feeling rough around the edges but this health issue affects every dimension of your well-being. Yeah surgery *****, but you will bounce back quick.

                               "You never know how strong you are
                         until being strong is the only choice you have"

[fpvfem]

Thanks so much guys I've been tryin my damn hardest to stay on this pass drs in oz have no ****** idea I'm telling yas I'm gonna go off today much love guys I'll get back soon

[fpvfem]

Hey mate they ain't receved my results gotta love livin in the bush as soon as the dr knows I will its the worst livin far nth queensland austraila as soon as I know I'll let everyone know you guys are my rock n for that I thank you more than words could ever say much love from oz

[gnarly_1]

Congrats on 8 days and you will find you get good day bad days and so so days thats how life plays out we no longer have an artificial great day with the pills we need to take one life on lifes terms not ours what your feeling is normal for where your at your brain is a chemical mess right now with time things will settle down the depression will lift and you will be stringing together good days with a bad one once in a wile eventually you will return to normal it just takes time they say 1mo for every yr of use I feel thats fairly accurate so hang in there
I wish you all the best in your recovery become pro/active and use aftercare it really helps with  the mental part and most of us with long term clean time use it good luck and God bless......Gnarly  

[fpvfem]

Thanks gnarly I've written down what you said its so true for me evryday I'm not using only after the first four to five hellish days the way I. Feel stronger everyday n the rasp in my voice when I talk about not using ever again cos it just ain't worth the greif one pill can do I'm gettin the old me back strong outback aussie chick that loves life as I've said heaps ova the last days this dite has saved my life n you guys here n for that I thank yous all so much love fpv

[lulu747]

Hi>  I am so sorry for your struggle but many congratulations for 8 days!  I don't know what your exact situation with your illness is but I, too had cervical cancer about 10 years ago.  I had four laser surgeries before they were able to remove it all.  They offered me pain meds but I turned them down (if only I was a smart now as then(:)  Honestly, I was in pain for a few days following each surgery but it was manageable.  I have no idea how serious your illness is and what the plan for care is.  Be kind to yourself, best wishes, and keep fighting.