I just wrote my feelings that came from really down deep. I have nothing in common with this forum friend KMH other than our addiction, but she has blessed me.
I encourage you to read my words just because it is a lesson that us addicts have such a hard time with. We just don't believe we are worthy of such a good life. Let me stop saying "we", I lie and until I come to a place where I believe I am better to me, and to everyone around me, clean and free of drugs, I will continue to lie, cheat, and wreck my life.
I dream of standing tall one day and setting an example for those around me, wanting to not seek their approval, just be myself and dazzle the hell out of the world.
I will work harder for that, and you are my support system all of you. My taper is going good.
Staying BUSY IS CRUCIAL and remember the neighbor I have on beer and zanax 24/7...well my plan "B" if I cannot go the distance between doses is to give my regimented dosages to her and she can dispense them as I promised to take them. Doesn't sound like a great idea I know, but she would help me with addiction because she is in such bad shape.
Hopefully that won't be necessary and I can stick to my plan. BUSY< BUSY BUSY is the key, hell I am even knitting. I hate knitting.