PLEASE HELP ME!!!

[gabep]

Hello all....I would like to share a very brief version of my story so you guys will know my situation.  I started snorting lortabs over a year ago for recreational use (dumb move)  I began by doing 20-30 mg every now and than.... Well, as we all know, that has led me to where I am today.  I am now snorting percocet 15 and 30 mg (green and blue) multiple times throughout the day.  I have started doing them before I leave the house for just about anything.  I was to the point where I was doing 120 mg each and every day.  I sincerely want to be done with these horrible things and the horrible lifestyle that goes with it.  I have tried to quit cold turkey a couple of times before, but with no luck.  However, I have cut back my use to about 75 mg per day, for over 3 weeks now.  

I'm sure you guys have heard this before, but I never in my wildest dreams thought I could ever be addicted to something like this in my life.  I have probably been abusing percocets to this extent for about 9 months now.  I would really really really appreciate any advice that anyone could give me.  I really want to stop doing this, but I want to keep it quiet from my loved ones.  The main thing is, I want to be my old self before I ever encountered these dangerous weapons.  I guess the only good thing that I can say, is that I never started using oxycontins.  (these are bad enough in my opinion)  I appreciate in advance any and all advice, stories, or absolutely anything you could say that would help me make it through this.                                                      

[auntlollipop]

I may not be able to help but thought I would share a different perspective.  My husband is an oxy addict.  I found out in August when I asked him for a divorce.  I had spent a year trying to figure out what the problem was.  He finally confessed a secret drug addiction like yours.  As relieved as he was to tell me, I gaurantee he regrets it.  He went to get help and went to a pain clinic.  They now prescribe the drugs he needs.  Ihave been supportive but in truth I am waiting for the holidays to be over so that I will leave him.  We have a wonderful life and he has ruined it.  The trust, sex and friendship are gone because of these drugs.  If you think your family ins't being impacted you are wrong.  Your loved ones are trying to figure out what is wrong.  They know you are not yourself.  The isolation and secret life you are leading is taking a toll on them.  My husband and I will get our first grand child in February and he will not be a part of it.  Most of the people that come to this forum have the same addiction you do.  I came here to better understand the hand I have been dealt.  My heart is broken.  Like you, I would have never dreamed my husband would get involved.  Now I am left with no choice but to start over alone.  Please, go to treatment for yourself and your family.  The life you have with them is worth fighting for and if your like us it is just a matter of time before you lose what matters most....the people who love and trust you.  Best of luck....

[Peaches5036]

1. Begin by honestly owning up to your addiction.
2. Talk to your doctor and ask for help
3. Get into a program, in oa hospital to de-tox and/or an out-patient de-tox program. some drugs can have extrely serious withdrawl effects. Get help please
4. Call NA. There are many folks like you who are drug and alcohol free after being totally addicted for many years. These peers, know exactly what you are going through, They been there done that
BY THE WAY, THE "NEW" BIGGEST ADDICTION TODAY IS PILLS.
DRUGS DON'T HAVE TO BE ILLEGAL TO BE ADDICTING.
5. HOW
Honest
Openminded
Willing

Wish you much success and joy. We are not a glum lot. It is possible to live a happy, joyous, meaningful drug free life.
You will get out of it, exactly what you put into it.

Questions is: HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT RECOVERY

Blessing

[gabep]

Well..... I'm not sure if I have good or bad news  to report... definitely not great news, thats for sure...   I did do a 30 mg oxycodone yesterday afternoon  That was about 3:00 p.m., so I am nearly 24 hours with nothing... However, I have started a new habit... Scared to death of the withdrawal symptoms, I have eaten about 10 bananas lol....  So far, things are not that bad  little bit of back pain, little bit of restless legs, but I actually slept pretty well last night....    I am taking two one a day vitamins, still pounding bananas, drinking water, and most of all thinking about my loved ones....  Thank you guys for the support     God Bless...

[superherointraining]

The next bunch of days are going to feel like youre duct taped to the front of a freight train, just remember that as the saying goes "Theres a light at the end of the tunnel."  I hope youre getting some sleep as im typing this. Keep your potassium and vit b levels high, lots of water, and as much as you might hate it, as much fresh air as possible. take walks, watch birds, pick up pennies on the street,
anything you can do to be outside and doing something to occupy your time until you break the habit of blowing a pill.

[GoingToMakeIt]

Good decision. I hope you do get sleep tonight. Hang in there. Don't give in. You really can do this.

[oxyaddict420]

Yo, I can feel your pain man.. My drug is also oxycodone. I took my last 40mg tonight about 4 hours ago and all I have left are 3,  5mg vicodin and a 30mg mscontin(cr-morphine)which I dont like. But I am going to try and use a script i just going to get tomarrow of tramadol to maybe taper down my habit.  I am getting insurance and I am going to try and get on that suboxone treatment.  I need real help at this point and realize it..  I have been abusing too long and this cant be fixed by 1 more failed attempt of cold turkey(FOR ME)  

I wish you the best man, and hope you beat this evil demon(PILLS)

[gabep]

Guys, I really appreciate the feedback.  As of 8 p.m. tonight, after I did my last 20 mg, I have decided to try "c/t" again and to try to fight off this evil.  I just went to the store and bought two different kinds of vitamins, bananas, immodium, and advil pm to help me sleep.  I am going to constantly drink water and try to eat a lot of bananas.  I am tired of being controlled by these stupid pills.  The last time I did this, I had nothing to help me fight it.  This time around I am just trying to prepare a little more, because I know what lies ahead.  

Also, I do have about six lortab 540's left.  (No percocets, which is the addiction)  I have these left for emergency, and if I can't sleep or become completely submerged in pain I am going to have these for backup.  Also, if I do result to taking one.   I am NOT going to snort it like in the past, I am going to take it by mouth.  

Guys, I would give anything in the world to beat this.  I do not have to go back to work until Monday, so I do have a few days to myself.  I will keep you guys updated on my status every once in a while.  Please pray for me right now.  I am hoping to depend on God to help me through these tough times, rather than those evil pills.  I will let you know how things are going sometime tomorrow afternoon.....

[Stacy79]

Oops, accidentaly sent that too soon.  I was going to say that my advice to anyone having a hard time quitting, is to get on Suboxone.  Some people don't agree with me, but it has been a God-send.

[Stacy79]

I always sound like a broken record, but

[gabep]

Can anybody provide any advice to the best way to do this maybe????

[gabep]

My problem is definitely not with any doctor, like I said, it was me being nieve enough to let myself develop an addicition.  Without a doubt, the dumbest move I have ever made.  I always thought I was smarter than that.  

However, now I am trying to overcome this horrible decision.  Thats why I came here to ask for help, advice, and support.  

[addictedme]

To me,,saying that your problem is with your doc is saying that you can use,,just not your doc. Sometimes I wish I could do that but for me my problem is addiction period. You say you want to be your old self but was keeping secrets from your family your old self. If you were diagnosed with any other desease would you keep it a secret. I"m saying this because beating addiction takes a ton of support and secrets will most certainly take you down.Also I"ve found that most people are suprised by the love and support they get from being honest with there familys,,,gl to ya

[gabep]

Yes, you are exactly right on these.  They are just the pure oxycodone, sorry I am so used to calling them percocets.  I do the green ones and the blue ones, basically just whatever I can get my hands on.  I wonder what level your friend that OD'ed was on (how many mg).    

One good thing for you is that you do not snort these, which unfortunately seems like the only way that I can get my fix.  Are you actively trying to quit, or are you not at this time???   I would give anything to be able to quit these and stay with it.  That is why I am asking for anyone's help out there.  Like I said, I am basically down to doing 75 mg or less a day, which is a step in the right direction.  I have already done 45 mg today, and will probably do two more 15's before the day is up.  

Someone please give me the advice and help I need.  I keep getting depressed everytime I try quitting for a day or more, and than go right back.  Should I quit cold turkey and tough it out, or taper off for a while.  Either way, I am dedicated to beating this sh!t and than helping out others, because believe me, they are very badly abused in my area.  

[oxyaddict420]

You are the first person that I have heard have the same Drug of choice as me.  I get the 15mg oxycodone immediete release pills(green ones).  I want to get the 30mg ones(blue i think)but havent been able to.  I take 2 of the 15mg ones orally(not chewed or crushed), but I take 2 every 2 hours for the entire day.  I usually ingest 300-330mg of the oxycodone per day.  

Also just to let you know that these pills are NOT percoset.  Percoset is oxycodone HCL with Tylenol mixed togather. Also the strogest ones of those I think are 10mg.  So these 15mg and 30mg pills we are talking about are just PURE OXYCODONE! no tylenol.  I prefer these because of the massive amount I take I am afraid of what the tylenol does to my liver and other organs.  When I dont have these favorites of mine, I get anything i can.  I got some 7.5 hydrocodone 750tylenol(vicodin ES) and took like 20+ pills in one day over like 3 days. That is an INSANE AMOUNT OF TYLENOL.  I prefer just the narcotic.  

I am not trying to glamorize my situation at all. I am an addict and I take these pills. That is my truth. Hope you can find a way to quit friend.  

P>S-- I had a close friend O.D and DIE due to snorting oxycodone, so I feel your pain brother, or sister.  I hope you can change this before it claims your life! GOD BLESS

[gabep]

Guys.... Thank you very much for the advice.  In the past, it seems like it is just as much a mental thing as a physical thing, when I am trying to quit.  I was going to 'attempt' to put myself on my own taper program I suppose.  Trying to cut back week by week until I am eventually down to 15 mg or so.  Just really not sure how much to turn back and how soon.  I am really going to think hard about the best way to do this, so I really appreciate all advice.

I very well may see a doctor and take his reccomendation.  I thought that there may even be more qualified people on this board to give me advice (people that have been through it).  I can say that I am extremely glad I found this board, because I do know that I am going to need  a lot of support.  Anyone else out there that has been addicted to snorting percocets at this level before??  Thanks....

[GoingToMakeIt]

Zurich has some good advice. To that I would add, stop snorting. You want a slower release if you are trying to quit. Seeing a Dr is a very idea.

[Zurich42]

Hi there - welcome to the forum.  There's not a lot of folks on right now - thus, you'll probably get more replies and 'chat' tomorrow than tonight.  
If you want to make a commitment to yourself to get off the drugs, perhaps your best bet would be 1) talk to your physician about a withdrawal plan - maybe a tapering regime.  I know it's hard - but they really need to know what's going on with you in order to help best prepare for any set-backs or problems.  Make sense?  2) I had a 10-12 Vicodin tablet a day addiction (5/500 mg) - but never snorted it.  That being said, I can 'tell' you how I tapered off Vicodin successfully over two weeks - but you would need to keep in mind that I only took the Vicodin orally (never chewed).  I am on my 23rd day of sobriety - and doubt very much that I will return to using/abusing narcotics.  
The key is to find out 'why' you started using/abusing narcotics.  In my line of work (I work in hospitals), the stress was getting to me too much and I decided to 'use/abuse' Vicodin to get me over some hurdles.  And then I started the 'addiction' because I couldn't walk away any longer from it.  
A lot of people go cold turkey - and it works 'for some'.  However, my personality indicates more success on slowly weaning myself from the drug - and taking the time to find out why I used it in the first place.
Post again - let us know what's on your mind, how you're feeling, etc.  If you decide to taper, your 'hard days' physically might be around Day 3 & 4 (they were for me and a few others on this forum).  The emotional hard days were Dat 5 & 6.  Keep that in mind -