Rough, rough morning

[Pat1956100]

I woke up feeling so sick.  My insides were shaking so bad my teeth were shattering.  It just wouldn't stop.  I had a doctor's appt.  at 1pm and forced myself to get ready.  My mind started going.  I could probably get some Tylenol 3's from him.  I went back and forth in my mind.  I thought about losing all of my old and new friends on this forum and how important you have all quickly become to me again.  
I walked to the appt and prayed that I would do the right thing.
I came out with a script but not for T3's.  I didn't ask and he didn't offer.  He put me back on Lyrica instead of the generic version that I have been on.  We think that the pregabalin (generic Lyrica) is causing the shakes and how sick I am still feeling.
Here's hoping and I am so thankful that this forum and my prayers gave me the strength to not ask for the T3's.

[Pat1956100]

lol, that link didn't work.  I will have to ask Wiki Connie how to post one so you all can read his ratings if you are bored.
Sounds like he doesn't relate to women at all.

[Pat1956100]

ImDone suggested I email him which I have been seriously thinking about.  My search for an email address revealed this, lol.  Just so you don't think it's just me.  Wow, I almost feel bad for him.             http://www.ratemds.com/doctor-ratings/80479/Dr-Kent-Gerred-Trenton-ON.html        

[dominosarah]

He sounds like he is getting burnt out and has lost that compassion for others.  I would still tell him what is going on.

[Pat1956100]

Thanks to everyone.  Your comments always make me feel better

Sonrissa, I did feel really good walking out of the doctor's office.  I had a great afternoon after the appt and felt so much better.
I'm really hoping the lyrica works too.  I will let you know in the morning, lol.

[Pat1956100]

Actually no, I was asking him to refer me to a psychiatrist or a therapist for grief counseling.  I told him I needed help.
He is ridiculous.  Nobody likes him but he is better than nothing.

[msdelight]

Just my opinion it sounds to me like he already knows. "Sometimes you just have to help yourself " seems to say "I'm not giving you anything ". Doctors are on the look out  for drug seeking behavior as it's called. Perhaps in the past he has seen this in you and that's why he comes off like that. Just a thought.

[ImDONENoMore]

I'm sorry, it's never good when you're dealing with a Dr. who doesn't seem to understand.  Keep trying to see if you can find someone else, though, okay?

And remember, you want to do things differently this time, right?  And that means telling your secret to the people who need to know.  Don't let this guy bully or intimidate you, he WORKS for you as your Dr.  Don't forget that.

[ROSYouralright]

Its a really important part of the recovery process and theirs always a reason to wait another day!! We all have weak moments and we have to seal all the cracks!!! I'm so proud of you girl and I want you to set yourself up for success! I'm here for you girl! Keep rocking it!

[Pat1956100]

I really don't like my doctor.  He has zero compassion.  When I told him I needed help after my husband and sister died, his response was "Sometimes you just have to help yourself".  Well I did.  I started on percocets and helped myself by staying in bed popping pills for 5 years.

I could list so many statements like that he has made to me so I really don't want to confide in him YET.  I actually thought about doing it today but just couldn't do it.

There are no doctors taking new patients as Canada really has a shortage of doctors.  I am lucky to have a doctor. A lot of people have to go to the ER any time they are sick.

I know it's something I should do and have to do but I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it yet.  His comments can hurt to the core.

[Sonrissa]

Hey girl! And how did you feel when you walked out of the doctors office? I hope you felt hopeful, relieved and proud of yourself. I remember how the mind starts going when getting ready for, and driving to, and sitting in the waiting room of the doctors office.  Trying to think of all the ways and stories to get the doctor to write the script. It's crazy and so very stressful.

You did do the right thing. You made it through a huge challenge today. Hold your head up high.  I'm praying that the Lyrica will work and give you some relief.  Stay strong, as strong as you were today. You are doing great!

XO

[weaver71]

You're looking for real solutions, a short fix like T3's would be a long cut to where you want to be. Way to go. I was thinking the knowledge that you could ask for pills helped make you sick. Not all of it, but that danger can make you shake for certain. I'd tell your doc you don't ever want opiated again. It will be easier on you, as you know. You done good this morning.

[ImDONENoMore]

Is the Dr. aware of your addiction issues?

Pat, this is so much harder if they don't know what's going on.  Then you'll always know you can ask in a weak moment.  Please, tell your Dr. under no circumstances can they provide you any narcotics because you're an [recovering] addict.  Cutting all your sources is HUGE.  Believe me, I know how you're feeling, I remember it all too well, and it only makes things worse if you leave any source open.  Believe it or not, it's a relief once you've done this and removes a lot of the anxiety that comes with quitting.

I had to protect myself from, well, myself, especially in the early stages.  There is no way around that.

[brandiroars386]

Good for you!!  I have no doubt that was difficult for you, even just the thought alone can be scary.  I am so proud of you!!!!  Over one hurdle, keep going woman..... you are rockin it and thanks for posting.  Everyone needs to see this and realize the struggle and how you overcame what  your mind was trying to get you to do. Our minds play tricks on us and try to sway our decision to stay clean.  I'm really glad you thought of your new friends and it helped you work it out!

[Bubulous]

Congrats Pat!!!
I have not been faced with that scenario yet and I hope that when I am I will have the will power you do.  That is what got me in 2012.  I was frying some tortillas in a skillet full of grease and while I was transferring them to the paper towel covered plate I spilt the grease on my foot.  I had my girlfriend at the time drive me to the hospital and told her not to let me ask for pain pills.....well I didn't.  However I did not turn them down either when they were offered to me.  Thus started my 2012 relapse.
Great job bud :)