I too am presently going through cold turkey withdrawal from a 12-14 hydrocodone habit. My last pill was 4:00 P.M. sat. The only thing I can say that although it is hell--It is only temporary! Please don't go back because each time the withdrawals are worse--You can make it though--one minute-one hour-one day at a time. Peace and prayers N.O. lady--AKA Mystere
I have not came out in the open about this to no one. But I am going to right now. Off and on for the last 2 years I have had a norco addiction. It stated out for the last year and a half to were I was taking only 2 a day and that was it. Now for the last month I find reasons to take more than two. I am not happy ever when I take them.
I am now noticing that my mood is just awful, I am over sinsetive, very angery. I seem to to be never happy. I am married to a wonderful husband and we have 3 wonderful kids. I stated taking them cause when i did oh wow I have some evergy and it was nice. Felt a little like wonder women. Now I do not have a drive to want to do anything. I know that I dont not take a whole lot but I have taken a whole lot through out the years.
I just dont know how to keep the drive in me not to want to take them. I go to bed saying tomorrow will be the day I am going to stop. and ect, ect. It is October 2, 2011 at 1:36 am and I want to be free from this. I want my addiciton to by my children. I want them to be what I need to smile, to get up and to do more things with them.
With my husband I want to smile at him and tell him I love him with out feeling guilty. This secret is killing and i think it is for real. I WANT TO BE FREE!!!!! more than anything in this world. So I will check in tommorw and let you know it I was one day free form this demoned!! Thank you for listening........
i apologize for posting again but this forum is the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind. My husband and I returned from our trip (some will remember that I was going to Taper--YEA RIGHT--Here I am going through another withdrawal-Please I could use some words of wisdom and support. God this addiction thing sucks!--I am now back to counting the hours since my last pill--42 hrs. And its a miracle I'm at work! Peace and Prayers to everyone going through this N.O. Lady AKA Mystere
Hi: My last large dose of Percosets and Fioricets were last Monday and here it is a week - I won't say already because it has been a long week. I had a migraine pretty much the entire time and have been miserable, but I just used my Imitrex. I started to ween myself off the narcotics by dropping down to two 5mg tabs per day just of the Percosets, I stopped the Fiorinal right away. Then on the third day I went without anything and surprisingly didn't feel that bad. The next day was harder though. It's the pure anxiety right below your rib cage in the center that is the worst for me. I buckled and took a 5mg Perc yesterday, but I'm back on track today. The only thing that is saving me are anti-anxiety drugs (one 8th - to one quarter of a 5mg tab valium) to help me sleep. Otherwise, I think I'd be up 24/7. But there's hope, my hands aren't shaking anymore, but I need to keep busy because too much idle time makes me think of the fun and enjoyment I used to have. I'm looking forward to life straight for a change. I allowed myself a month to ween off the pills but I think I should be pretty good there by the end of this week. I hope! I also didn't think I'd have the psycological desire because I wanted to be off these things so bad, but it is there. So, take my advice and call your local hospital's behavioral health dept. and see what they have for counciling. Good luck - if I can do it, you can too!
Well God just keeps putting you in my line of vision, girl......!!! I happened to see your post today and I'm glad to hear from you. I knew you were going on your trip, so it's good to hear you made it through that. And you're in W/D again, but isn't that better than saying," I'm USING again??" You've made it more than 5 minutes; more than an hour; more than a DAY...so HANG IIN THERE!!!!! Use the recipe if that's your MO, but get a plan and stick w/ it. Do whatever you can to feel better!! (except the obvious, Hon...!!) We are gonna get you through this, woman!!! How is it at work?? Are you coping okay?? If it gets too bad, can you bail for an afternoon ot two?? If it's keeping your mind off how shitty you feel, and you're dealing w/ it, then maybe that's where you need to be. Just lay low.
I'm going to be gone all day, but I hope to come back tonight and get a progress report from ya.......I'll do another cheerlead if ya want. LOL I don't mind lookin' stupid...:-) STICK W/ IT, LADY!!!!! Love--Peazy
I just read your post and am so glad to hear that you are getting off of the drugs. As I said in my earlier post to you I am not real familiar with the opiates, but very familiar with the fiorinal and it sounds like you may be over the worst of it.
I'm sure the valium is helping with the anxiety. Another drug which I have found helpful is "neurontin" it's and anti-seizure med but is used for withdrawal from barbituates which is what fiorinal is. It has helped me alot.
I know how bad those headaches are and am glad to hear that Imitrex is helping.
Try to be good to yourself during this time and please stay in touch.
I seem to have made it through work--Thanks so much for the inspiring post--I will post again tonight from home and let you know what is going on thanks again Peazy--You are my Godsend--Peace & Prayers--N.O. Lady AKA Mystere
Well if I don't get this off mu chest right now I'm going to explode--The little demons started circling about 2:00 p.m. today so I called my friend who is the pharmacist and to him that I so conveniently left all my medicine in the room safe in Las Vegas--He said the only thing i had to do was have my husband call and ok an early refill--Sooo yes I asked my husband(he is a physician and absolutely hates calling in any type of medicine for friends or family) if he would call in the refill since I had left all my meds at the hotel--Well i could tell by the sound of his voice he didn't quite believe my story--Well I thought everything was ok until he called back on cell phone and he discovered the empty rx bottles in an Armoir in the upstairs bedroom--I am sooo busted--But more than that I love this man more than life itself and the fact that I betrayed his trust for these stupid pills is just beyond comprehension--I will be leaving soon for home and I know I have hurt this man so deeply that I wonder if it can be repaired I'm so ashamed and scared right now--I really need all of your prayers--N.O. Lady/Mystere
It will be OK, Mystere. The BEST thang is: HE loves YOU. The 2nd best thing is, now y0u can come clean w. him ( I can't come clean w. my spouse.. tho He too loves Me)..and the 3RD best thhing is since Lover is a Doc, he can wean you and Hold the goods in a safety deposit box if needed. I am Exactly 24 hours ahead of you on recovery, from the same/exact habit. I had gum surgery today, straight.. actually Double Quad surgery. All I took were the frickin numbing shots and the paper script for 22 VikeEs. I gave the script to my spouse and said: "Hold this for me, Baybee. Those things make me weird." Now. I only have to make it til 9 o'clock tonite when the pharmacies close, or hope he works til 9. Not tearing up the script or saying NO SCRIPT to the doc was impossible. I wanted the safety blankie of kmowing.. knowing what? That I could resume Insanity? Stupid, and I hope not, for the numbness has worn off and my gums are throbbing to east hell and back. But NOLA, we can do this. Read Hippee's post, and some from RStew written when I was exactly at the point of recovery you are this weekend. They are under the thread: "Is there an easy wasy to detox off Vikes?" (or some such insane wish like that) Anyhooo, hot baths, movies, forced dinners out (isnt there an abfab Lunch Place in NOLA called Yugilesh's(sp)?, heating pads, sex, damn new pets, whatever it takes.. but keep yr mind outta yr imagination and things like.. "The Perfect Plan".... such as "Maybe I can make myself invisible and walk right into all old fart's homes and help myself to their stashes." (The mind of an addict Jonesin) Ug. YOU CAN DO THIS. WE CAN DO THIS. ~ rode w/ C
(one more thing... Were ALL the times high on Vikes wonderful? I remember those too, and conveniently forget the times I hugged the toilet bowl tighter than my mutha.)
Thank so much for responding--There is a certain amount of relief that it is all out in the open--Somehow I always knew if I continued this insanity that this day would come--I have never seen him so ANGRY! I'm crying so hard I can barely type. I have mentioned in previous threads that he has no idea about this disease and the insanity it brings! He thinks its just a matter of willpower and just stop! Oh yes and he said that it was MY PROBLEM and I had better fix it! That really sounds like support doesn't it? It's almost like he thinks I did this on purpose just to hurt him! Oh yes I woke up one day and said I think I'll become addicted to hydrocodone and all the misery that goes with it. I know he is hurt and angry but I feel so alone right now. I hope the pain from your gum surgery gets better! I also know about dental work and the pain involved. Thanks again for being here and listening. I almost can't believe this is happening. Thanks for saying that he loves me because right now I'm not so sure. Peace and Prayers--N.O. Lady AKA Mystere
Greetings fellow N-user,
If it makes you feel any better I was taking 3-4 times what you took in a sitting, ie.. TEN 10/325 whenever I got home from work to help me deal. Well you all know how that goes long term. Not good. In fact near the end 10 pills barely even made a difference except I felt somewhat normal again. Right now I'm struggling thru the death by a thousand cuts tapper and down to just 20mg or four 5mg a day. I started legit thru pain management, now pain not so bad when you compare it to the pain of WD's. For a young guy, the pain causes me to walk a little funny but at least the head on my shoulder can see straight and not thru pin-eyed pupils and always scratching myself! (Oh the feeling of a good hydro "zone" scratching.) Anyway, hang in there and know your not alone, you can get life back. I have been there twice in last 4 years and would do anything to get back there again. To wake up in the morning and think straight, feel clear, feel alive. Keep your focus and you will make it. Prayin for ya,
i am hardly ready to advise anyone, and would chomp at the bit here myself... if I could chew that is. That aside: I looked in my notes (from my NOLA trips).. get a silk teddy (men like red I'm tole). Use it before, after, or during the cab ride to 1238 Baronne St, "Uglescich's" ph # 523-8571. After, 'cruddle' up in bed before he bricks it and (try) x-plain recovery. Hell. I dont know if it will work, but tho u may not feel like it (in fact wont), it's worth the shot. Just my opinion. Best to u~
Dear One: I know you must be scared and have massive guilt and shame and all those other intense emotions that go through an addict's mind when their dirty little secret is OUT--along w/ all the myriad of utter, whopping LIES that we've told.......IT'S OKAY. You are actually much better off now that your husband knows the truth (or at least a portion of it). Now you can stop the damn charades, pretenses, get honest w/ HIM and YOURSELF and get on the road to cleaning yourself up. It's staggering how a physician doesn't understand any more than he does about "your problem"...(no comment!!) but if he loves you (and he does) he will get educated so he can help you to help yourself. I think in the next few days he will calm down and be more rational and the two of you can decide to lick this demon TOGETHER. Make it your mission to be straight w/ him about everything and vow to make this a turning point in your relationship as far as trust and honesty are concerned. It will be such an onus off your shoulders if you can convince him that you need to turn TO him instead of be forced AWAY from him in your battle....That part will be up to him. But you must ultimately do this for yourself, and you already know that. Things will look so much better even in the morning--I promise. Go day-to-day and hang in there, sweets. Sorry if this post is disjoint but I've had ten interruptions from a teenager and if that ain't a challenge, i don't know what is!! Let me hear from you OFTEN!!!! I will help however you need me to. love, peaz
Peazy said it so well - and I really don't have anything to add to it, but just want you to know you're in my heart and prayers. Something just tells me things are gonna turn out OK for ya. (And she's right - we've ALL told whoppers and manipulated to get what we want!...which makes us feel, well, probably "less than perfect")...smile. I've read your posts over the last few months, lady, and understand what you're going through. Hydro addiction is hell. I like Dr. Phil's definition of addiction (which, since, I'm on part-time, I have to admit I'm addicted to Dr. Phil)...smile Addiction: (whether it be drugs, gambling, alcohol,video games, whatever) - Is when you go from controlling the addictive behavior to the addictive behavior controls you! Love ya, NOL - hang in there, babe. Lisabet
Thank you Peazy--You always know the right thing to say-It is so hard to see past my abject misery right now but in my heart I know things will be better in the morning--I have been crying from the moment i got home from work which was about 5 hours ago! I guess I'll be wearing dark glasses to work because my eyes will be so swollen (but that is the least of my problems)
Thanks again for your love and support! I know somehow we were all brought together here for a reason--Peace and Prayers Hon You are an Angel! N.O. Lady AKA Mystere
Again, Peazy and the Mangy Dog(lisabet) pretty much said it all; but you just have to let go off the guilt!!!!
If you only knew some of the dispicable things I'd done to get my next fix.........you've come out looking like Mary Poppins in comparison. WE ARE ONLY HUMAN, FEEDING "THAT" HUNGER.
I've also got distractions(in the form of a 2 and 4 year old) pulling at my shirt, so if this isn't coherent you know why.
Just know, i'm thinking about cha, and i sincerely hope things turn out for you....now with that incredible weight off your shoulders!!
Please hang in there New Orleans!!!!
I could not imagine taking 10 pills at one time. After a few I start getting really paranoid. How are things with you now? I had a great day today. I felt alot better than I did this weekend. I was actually able to function at work which consists of walking around all day and many other things. I felt different today, like things were going to change. I made up my mind that this was it for me, that I was going to stay off for good! then i got home.... I had a message from the dr's office. I will get my refill tomorrow...60 pills. I am so lost and confused once again. I know I shouldn't, but I know I will. I think that the worst of my withdrawls is over because what could be worse than the hell I went through?? I don't know what to do.
Yo!!! You need to re-read the top half of your last post!!! It is so full of hope and motivation and success!!! You're feeling GOOD, handling your JOB, wanting to KEEP GOING.......SO DO IT!!! Please PLEASE don't pick up that script. You said yourself : "THE WORST IS OVER" so WHY GO BACK to that **** hole again??? Sorry for all the caps--I'm not really yelling...LOL Just trying like hell to get your attention. You have such a fabulous beginning....now instead of aborting that---forge AHEAD and BUILD on it. Call the pharmacy and tell them to void that RX so you can get the possibility of refills OUT of your mind. Think CLEAN. Think HAVING YOUR LIFE BACK. You're on your way, buddy (buddess???LOL) Hand in there........Peaz
Yeah!! And HANG in there, too..........:-)
Thank you for your support--If you only knew what it means--My husband is barely speaking to me--He says he just can't discuss it (my addiction) right now. Except for all of you I feel totally abandoned. I made it to work swollen eyes and all. I have the name of an addiction specialist and I am calling this morning to get an appointment. I just pray I haven't screwed things up beyond repair. The guilt and shame is almost unbearable. Thanks for all your love, support, and prayers--I need all of the help I can get right now--Peace and Prayers to all fighting this horrible disease--N.O. Lady--AKA Mystere
Okay, okay--the guy wants to be a *****? (sorry) then let him be one. Ignore him because you have to focus on YOURSELF and you can't be worrying about his "issues". For one thing, if you can get yourself uprighted, his stance may change accordingly. Again, THINK OF YOURSELF and do what you need to do to get sober and stay that way. Sobriety has to be #1 right now, or the rest will just stay unraveled and NOTHING will change.
Talk to the additionologist that you mentioned. Formulate a plan with his help. Consider taking some days/a week off work. Throw yourself into this and do WHATEVER it takes. You're an emotional basket case right now because that's part of withdrawl; not to mention all the other **** going on. So don't be upset that you're upset!!! LOL if you're not on an antidepressant, I would certainly talk to your addictionologist about getting on one ASAP. Things will improve, gradually. Take teeny tiny steps and be GOOD to yourself. You're making an effort and you are to be commended for that. Keep posting and let us know how you are. Love and prayers--peazy
You've worked too hard to give in now. Your winning a long battle, and the more victories the easier the war gets. Think of how you feel now, how your head is starting to feel again, how you wake with a clear head, how things feel now compared to using in your life. It's not easy, that's why we (and you are hear.)
But remember, no matter what, go easy on yourself. You seem like your going to win, win soon, and keep on winning! If you do stumble, get back up and fight on. Most of us here have stumbled, that is part of the battle and why we are all here for encouragement helping all to fight on.
Praying for you, Nod
It's time to check in w/ Mommy, hon.....Don't make me ground you.....LOL Seriously, how're you doing today and did you see your doctor? Please post when you can. Love, Peazy
Thanks for checking on me-Guess when the first appointment is with the addiction doc--June 21! They did say they would put me on a cancellation list. Things are a little better with hubby, but to be quite honest I'm a little angry myself at his totally ***** attitude even though I probably don't have a right to be. He is one of these people that just totally shuts down emotionally whenever there is a problem. I am going to find an AA/NA meeting tonight in order to find someone to talk to. I feel so isolated and if it weren't for you and this forum I'm not quite sure what I would do. Thanks again for caring. I know I will get through this the question is how scarred up I'm going to be. Thanks again I can't possibly put into words what your support means. Love-Peace-Prayers-N.O. Lady AKA Mystere