Relapse......???

[OxyDout]

I recently, a couple of days ago had bought 40mg of oxycontin after my detox of about 10 days, I seem to go back and forth with this, I can never get passed the 3rd day without oxy or methadone, I usually use methadone for a few days and it works well for me, I never use more then 5mg in a day, its just enough to hold me until the next day, although its still painful it keeps me from going to buy any oxy.  Anyway, I used about 3mg of methadone yesterday and 3 this morning, but it doesn't do much since its not the physical withdrawal anymore, its the mental game and I can't get passed it.  I watched 28 days again last night, anyone seen that movie?? its a good one, it fits well with what I'm going through.  
My other question is.... Is it normal to have emotional relapses for a loved one who has died.  I keep going through these deep but short depressive states for a friend who died on sept. 11th, he was my roommate and a best friend for the last 3-4 years. If anyone has any input or any reaction at all, that would be great.

GWH

[OxyDout]

thank you all for the responses, as Joesomething or other before me posted SO UNHEARTEDLY!! (no need for that tone Joe...) I buy off the street, both oxy and methadone, and they are there 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, this kid has 1,000 80 mg pills all the time, but **** him and **** the pills, i'm doing very well at work, i'm right out of college and things are going better then expected.  Kip, sounds like a great guy, i do actually believe that Pete, the friend I lost, is always with me, i told him 3 nights ago that I"m quitting for not only myself but him.  I miss him to death.  Thanks again for everything, you all are incredible.

GWH

[joey25]

I think what a lot of you idiots are missing here is the fact  that people that have all of these pills aren't getting them prescribed to them from doctors, and they arent buring them at pharmacies.  They buy them illegally on the streets, like most of us drug addcits do!  Duh, idiots!

[Ketta]

Read your post. I too am very surprised folks get Rxs that go on and on...for vicodin, Lortab, etc. I too, was never given more than 30- and only after getting out of the Hospital with a major disease! I was not even given re-fills. I had to call the pharmacy and request an "authorization." The heart attack I had while on hold to make the request was almost not worth it. As noted, I just go without now. It's sick, but I get jealous reading how so and so has 100 pills and can't decide whether or not to eat 'em. If I have 'em- I eat 'em. I sell the idea of 'better off' to myself, becase I just don't have any. This is not the case all the time. I really do not want to damage my liver any further. I want to have kids, and I deeply love my hubby. And for those reasons, I refrain from doc. hopping, hunting, stealing, etc. but part of that is fear too- and that's just being honest.
I know folks in pain clinics get a larger lot at a time. My mom is in one, and they monitor it closely. She does however get a month's worth, i.e. 120 pills. I can not imagine having 120 vicodin at one time. It's likely best that I never will.

[mrmichael67]

He didn't get the oxy from his doc.  He got it from his friend.  Some people get what they get because they are in pain management and get a month's worth of meds.  I know I do.  Get 90 80 mg oxys at a clip.

[Jack Frost]

Lanas that was a good post and a very supportive response and I agree completely. GWH, the fact that you still care, that you want to get clean will take you far. Just focus on today and if today ends up a bust, get out of bed tommorrow morning and focus on the here and now, then. Make sense?

As far as the interconnecion of grieving for a lost one and drug abuse it is well established. I can tell you that for a long time the way I dealt with mulitple deaths was to stay numb with drugs and it works for awhile, but the grief will always resurface. I also agree with what Kip said, the person is always with you. At times I feel those who I lost and draw strength from them.

Hang in there, keep trying.

JF

[Schlub]

Try Buprenex to withdraw. It's painless withdrawal. Really quite incredible. I'm day 5 withdrawaing now, and I feel fine ecept for a very slight lethargy, which will worsen in week 2 when I quit the Buprenex but that's normal for opiate withdrawal. The point is, you get past the first week of detox PAINLESSLY with zero withdrawal symptoms.