Done...and this time I need to do it right.

[Ashelen]

So some of you know that I'm a pain management patient and I took a "drug holiday" earlier this month (stopped my meds for 2 weeks in order to restart my tolerance)...I wasn't sure if I was going to refill my script or not, but I did. I don't have a problem abusing my medicine (I take 5mg Norco 3x a day) but I'm tired of having to take them around the clock or end up with withdrawals.

So...I'm done. I'm in the middle of my script and when I woke up this morning I got the awful withdrawal-haven't-taken-a-pill-in-a-long-time feeling and I decided that I'm done.

I made an appointment with my GP tomorrow and I need to know what to ask her..I'm going to ask for some medicine to help me deal with the withdrawals. I'm stopping cold turkey this weekend. We're moving into a new house and we're goin to be painting and putting down carpet and moving...but this is the best time for me to do it. I need to keep busy or I will start having panic attacks - I take the medicine for legitimate pain reasons and the thought of dealing with the pain without medicine has me panicked even now, so I know that I need to keep busy or I'll cave and start taking the medicine again and I just don't want it anymore. But by the same token I can't completely shut down, and I have 2 small children who rely on me (my husband will be home 4 days this weekend as well, which is why this is a good time for me to do it) so I need to be somewhat functional.

what do you guys recommend? I know I"m going to get some multi-vitamins and protein shakes...I was thinking of asking for clonodine and something for anxiety, as well as something for RLS and sleep - when I've cut my meds out before the RLS and the interrupted sleep been the worst part of it for me.

does anyone have anything else to recommend? my GP is very helpful and I think she'll give me whatever I feel like I need because I mean it's pretty much every doctor's dream to get their patient off of 24/7 pain meds right?

anyway..I'm terrified. I really am. I've lived with pain meds for 5 years because my pain level is so high, and while I've stopped taking them before for weeks or months at a time...this time I'm really done. i want to be done. I know my pain is going to be back, but I don't know that it's not better than dealing with pain medicine 24/7 and all the appointments and side effects that come with it.

please help me..I'm so scared. I need to do this NOW before I chicken out and continue the cycle. I already called and canceled my PM appointment for next month where I was supposed to get another refill, and it takes a long time to get an appointment so at this point it's do or die. (not really lol but you know what I mean).

help..can I do this?! will the medicine help me?! I know I'm on a low dose, so I should be able to function...right? i know I need to buy immodium too....omg, I'm so scared, but I'm so ready.

help...I know I'm not an "addict" but I'm physically dependent and you guys are the only ones I can think of who can help me...so please do. the pain terrifies me, it really does, but i'm done.

[dovecottage]

u hav done this before but i hav a few things to add to ur shopping list magnesuim 500, zinc 50, fish oil, htp-5, valarian root pills, vitb 6, vit b12, immoduim, something for a sick tummy,gatorade, ensure, foodscarrots, banana, beats apples and i forgot gaba gaba plus from health food store it calms it all down any ?..........dove

[Ashelen]

Thank you so much, Dove!

yes I've definitely done it before, but always knowing that I had another prescription around the corner to deal with the pain...this time I need to prepare mentally AND physically and I think that once the withdrawals start I'm going to panic and be afraid of the pain too much...so I want to try to ease the withdrawals as much as possible so I can spend my time battling my fear.

i'll definitely add those things to my list thank you!

[tschock]

My heart is truly with you. I am 7 weeks prego and trying to give up smoking.
I know that smoking doesn't seem like an addiction, but it is.
Going cold turkey while hubby is taking Champix...makes it pretty hard for me.
He'll be having his last smoke in ten days from now...at which time I have to butt out too.
I'm terrified as well. What if i can't do it? He HAS to or he'll die. His lungs are only working at 30% which is lower than most asthmatic's.
He's also been told to give up the beer (he's a chronic alcoholic) so this is going to be rough.
I've had to break free from coke, and scripts in the past, but nothing is freaking me out more than giving up on smoking...which I've done for over 30 years.
My advice to you? Just tell your doc everything!  She already knows what your problem is, so just tell her that you want off of the merry-go-round and ask her how it can be done safely. You could also ask a pharmacist before you go in. They know thier pills, and they will provide you with unbelievable amounts of help. They could tell you what to ask your doctor...they could also suggest other meds.
If you don't find a helpful pharmacist right away, try another one. Some are helpful and to some it's just a job...gotta find the right one.
You're doing the right thing, and you seem like a very strong lady. I know you'll make it through this!

[GMcp]

heh thats weird i did the same thing when we moved 4 weeks ago, but i was running out and thought well this would be a good time to quit ill be busy with painting and the move and my 3 kids and packing and all i got 2 days in b4 it was to much and i went crying to my doc for more, im just saying i tryed it, not to quit but just to hold up till the next 2 weeks wen i was sposed to get my new script but yea no no way was that going to happen, i was in so much pain and withdrawl i said f*** the move id live on the streets b4 id clean or move ne thing, its really hard to do that, especially when its in your head that you are not quitting its just temporary but good luck i hope it works for you. if your are only on that little amount you should be ok to do it actually i was on alot more im on day one of getting off the pills by tapering and having mixed emotions so sorry if this sounds harsh alla what i wrote i do wish you the best good luck

[Greatgreebo]

I am a chronic pain person myself.....after you've been off the meds for a while you will be surprised at how well your body can fight its own pain. You also have to start looking for other ways to deal with pain (massage, accupuncture, excercise etc). You can do this. If you are dependent now there is a good chance that addiction will follow.........it's just a natural progression.....it won't be bad. Just go CT, talk with your GP about other options and be proud about the choice you have made!!

Greatgreebo

[justneedtotalk]

Relax.....You are doing the right thing.....You have a lot of positive things going for you!  First off your daily amount is low so you are still going to feel the effects of detox but they will be minimal compared to others.  It sounds like you have already gotten some good advice in regards to vitamins and supplements.....I would just add that exercise truly helps battle the effects of long term withdrawal and makes you feel a lot better, a lot faster.

You truly need to go into this with the right frame of mind.....It is simple.....You Do or You Do Not.....There is no try!  If you are just trying to quit you will use again.....If you are done then you might have a chance.....AA or NA is also free and worth its weight in gold.  It is important that you get into one of these for long term sobriety....Well, I wish you the best of luck and we are all here to answer questions, complain, whine or cry!  Good luck and God bless!

[Ashelen]

THank you everyone for the support...that's what I need right now. Right now it's going to be mental because as a pain patient who has never abused her meds I can get pain meds any time I want...and that's NOT what I want. I really want to be done. I want to be able to go away for a weekend without worrying about my script - yes, I'll have pain to worry about, but let's face it...pain meds don't kill all the pain anyway so before I was dealing with pain (albeit muted pain) AND dependence....

I'm trying to gear myself up for this battle. A wrench was just thrown in the works because my father-in-law is going behind my back and tryin to get everyone to convince me that moving while we're still working on the house is goin to be hard and I KNOW it is, but we don't ahve any option we have to be out by May 1st. he wants us to move somewhere else for aw eek and then back SORRY not HAPPENING...I'm NOT moving twice just because his lazy but doesn't want to finish the house in 2 weekends. Ugh it's just pissing me off and distracting me from my focus...trying to get back...

I need help so bad...you guys are going to be my life saver...

[Ashelen]

also - I have generalized anxiety disorder (which isn't being helped by everything) so I thought of something that would help me...

help me list out what I can expect (i know no one can say for sure but I want it in writing errr in typing so I can list it off as it happens and not freak out) from withdrawals...how long it can last on average...and what the best thing to do to combat each individual problem would be.

i.e.:
restless legs - starts on day 2, lasts 2 days, best treatment is: hot baths.

etc...that kinda thing..it will help my anxiety a lot. like I said I've done this before but I've never really thought about it.

[justneedtotalk]

Well.....I always take my last dose in the morning but only have enough pills or that morning dose....That way you have an entire day and evening without pills and on day one you are actually on day 1.5.....For me day 1.5 and 2.5 are the roughest.....If you are taking your vitamins and supplements and getting a lot of water down it will help.  You are going to probably sleep ok .5 night if you take the valarian and melatonin.  You are going to be restless on day 1.5 and you are really going to crave.....This is when you need to accupy your mind by doing medial tasks or watching some funny movies....Hot baths throught the day give you some piece and makes you feel better for an hour or so....Try to get the protein down as well which the sooner you can get everything down the sooner you will feel better.....Day 2.5 will be much of the same, you will probably not sleep very well but if you take the sleeping aids you should be able to get about 4 hours of sleep....Day 3.5 for some is the worst day but for other is a turning point day.....For me it was different every time.  This particular last detox I actually felt a little better on 3.5.....Day 4.5 is kind of a hump day.....You still feel crappy but it is better....You will most likely still have some lower stomach problems and appetite and sleep are not back to normal but you will be able to function and this is when you really need to start getting some light exercise......Each day from here on out will be better.....Yes, you will have bad days but as you get closer to the month mark you REALLY start feeling back to normal.....This is easily doable if you have the right mind set.....Best of luck to you!

[vicki595]

Hey!!   This is a huge deal!  I'll try to make you a good check list.  I just want to tell you that I'm so impressed by your thoughts and "plan".  A good mindset is the best...
Starting right now (as you read this) get something to drink and keep drinking. Withdrawing will cause dehydration and dehydration is responsible for many symptoms! Clonidine is good to ask for. It's a b/p med so follow directions. Some think that the clonidine alone cuts withdrawal symptoms in half...For anxiety try Visteril instead of a benzo. It's an Rx. Ask about it.

Crying,emotional,temperamental behavior- Very common.

RLS-   It may begin at any time on day one.Get some Hylands Restful Legs tablets. Take as needed(3 at once). It's an OTC that contains quinine.

Runny nose,sneezing A LOT,a dry cough are common. Treat as a cold.
Blurry vision- it may happen and it goes away.

GI- Get Immodium and pepto. You may have nausea,sometimes vomiting,often times diarreah.

Muscle aches-Motrin 800mg 3 x per day.

Anxiety-As above and also Valerian root.

Insomnia- Valerian Root and Melatonin. Don't force sleep,it doesn't work. If you can't sleep get up and try a different place.

Headache- Common

Lethargy- Common

Really...if you drink,eat,move, it will go just fine. It's not a large dose so don't be scared. Your pain may increase for a bit and then settle down. About a week.
It's great you're working with the doctor on this.  Message me anytime. I love hearing from you and for heaven's sake...keep checking in!!

[mellie4]

I'm so proud of you (and a little envious that you're going cold turkey!)  I'm doing the same thing but with a taper.  I just can't handle the withdrawals.  (In addition to my pain issues, I do have some mild heart issues and I think, for me, a taper is best.)  But with the taper, the withdrawals are drawn out.

And, of course, you have your pain to contend with as well.  But I'm with you:  at this point, I'd rather feel the pain than be clocking pills.  (My pain management team is a big believer in "staying ahead of the pain."  So I have my long-acting and then high doses of oxycodone every four hours around the clock.

I have a good friend who just did this.  She had no computer access so I asked some questions here for her.  (She was abusing her meds but she's doing great and it's been several months.)

The things she found very helpful were the Hyland's Restful Legs.  It is in VERY small packaging and can be hard to see.  Ask at the pharmacy.  She also found someone massaging her legs helpful.  Clonidine could be a great help to you for a number of things.  It's an old high blood pressure medicine that's used in several ways now.  I was prescribed it for nerve pain.  It could help with some of your pain and it also helps with anxiety ... two for two.  And lastly, it does help with withdrawals.

Maybe try thinking of the withdrawal symptoms in a positive way.  Like having a baby; each pain, each contraction brings you closer to that ultimate gift, your brand new baby.  Well, in the same way, each miserable withdrawal symptom brings you closer to another gift ... freedom from your medication.  (Easier said than done but it's helping me with my symptoms.)

I find being a pain management patient really difficult.  Sure, I hate the pain and it IS debiitating.  But I don't like what the medications do to me.  

Keep posting and let us know what happens with your doctor.

[addictjen]

That was a very helpful message for me.  Thank you for taking the time to write it!

[Ashelen]

Ugh so my doctor wanted to help me today, but she said that the way my insurance works...she can't. I have to get my PM doctor to taper me down, and he won't. he was inthe process of referring me to a doctor who solely does pain medicine....that's why I wanted to stop the meds now because I realized I was getting to a place I didn't want to be (with a doctor who wasn't trying anything BUT medicine).

I'm in tears now because I'm so afraid...I'm still determined to do this because I'm done being dependent...but now I'm a lot more frightened because I thought I would have clonidine and something for anxiety at the very least to help me through this. At this point I'm going to do a rapid taper until next week and then go cold turkey...

any suggestions for that ? I've heard that nyquil helps you sleep at night when you're going through this...thoughts?

and thank you so much Vicki and Mellie you guys are wonderful - does anyone know if a beta blocker will do the same thing as clonidine? I've done research about it, and I have a bunch of beta blockers that they've given me for a heart problem over the past two years and I KNOW that self-medicating is bad...but if I can't get my PM doctor to help me taper, then I'm going to need all the help I can give myself.


My doctor said basically I can get my PM doctor to help taper me or I can get put into inpatient care...since I'm not an addict I refuse to do the inpatient because I know it'll go on my record.
UGH i'm so frustrated:'(

[Ashelen]

also - I have Toradol (ketorolac), flexeril, robaxin, phenergan, and zofran...and that's my arsenal, tell me if any of those will help me. oh and like 2 bottles of nyquil because when we had a cold last time my husband bought them buy 1 get 1 free, lol.

what about chamomile tea...does it really help? does valerian root REALLY help with anxiety? and hyland's....I've heard it's kinda crap...how well does it really help?

we don't have a bathtub in this house and unfortunately because of my FIL we won't be able to get into the new house right away so I will have to take showers instead of baths :-(

[sudie58]

hi, i just wanted to add my good wishes to you, all the things that vicky suggested do help , and the clonodine does the same job as a beta blocker, its for hypertension also.
sometimes the fear stops us from doing things and you imagine its going to be worse than it actually is, take care and god bless.

[dominosarah]

Dont fear the wd's.  I know it is no fun but it is necessary to rid our bodies of the toxins.  It is very scary to give up something we have grown dependant on.  Our minds play games with us as we always fear the unknown.  Your pain will more than likely increase for awhile but many of us have found our pain got better the longer we were off the meds.  Keeping busy will be good for you, keeps your mind off things.  Keep us posted on how you are doing.  You can and will do this!!         sara

[vicki595]

Are you kidding me??? Your doctor can't help you because of insurance???  What's the deal with that? She can't write an rx for a cheap medicine (I think it's cheap LOL) that you can pay for in cash? That's BS. AND you don't need to be tapered!   That's a scam!!  It's sounding like they want to keep you coming back for the $$$...GRRR! Can you tell I'm irritated??

Okay...yes,Nyquil helps a lot of people and it's fine to take at bedtime. Many doctors advise cold medicine with dextromethorphan because it helps a number of symptoms including RLS;so get that. Yes,Hyland's works but not 100%. Any magnesium tablet,alone or with a vitamin or other mineral,works for RLS as well. It can all be taken together(cold med,Hylands,and mag).

And,yes,Valerian root and Melatonin work. Again,not 100% but they really help! The tea is good,too.  Hot showers work as well as baths but it's just nice to sit so we talk about the baths a lot...

Do not worry about this. Get on here and post. You'll get plenty of hand holding,just not in person.  :(

[Ashelen]

THank you Sudie and Sara -  you guys are a great part of my cheerleading team!

Vicki - your righteous indignation on my part warms my heart....hehe.

I'm doing alright. I started the taper today...I know we can't do specifics but I am taking a slightly smaller amount (I have a pill cutter) a slightly longer time apart.

I'm going to take 1/4 of a .25 phernegan tonight so that I can get through the night with less medicine in my system (phenergan knocks me the freak out) and maybe get to the point where I'm not taking it at night at all before I stop completely because I know that sleeping is going to be my biggest challenge - usually the pain is so bad at night that I rely on the pills to put me out. I'm going to try to switch to toradol for night time for about a week and then regular ibuprofen and see how that goes. this is all after the taper.

my dad and my husband are being really good about this...my husband knows he's going to have to watch the kids at night even though he's working next week because in the past my biggest challenge has been that if I get woken up, I can't get back to sleep. he's being a real doll and he said that he's excited for me...he's tired of me struggling with the pain but he's also tired of watching me agonize over the medicine..there's so much addiction in my family that it's always been a sore point in my mind so even when I was taking them they were causing guilt and fear...so it's time to be Free.

he's even planning to quit cigarettes on my "1 month clean" anniversary...his way of showing support. we'll see...but i'm touched by the thought.

I will go and get all of the things suggested..what about the beta blocker propranolol or atenolol? I have them both but I have like an entire bottle of atenolol because it made me too sleepy so they switched me.

in some ways..I'm really excited about this. I'm terrified of the withdrawals and of dealing with the pain later, but I'm ready to at least see where it's at. I didn't stay "clean" long enough last time...I was still suffering from wds by the time I refilled my meds so I never got a good look at my pain. this time, I'm forcing myself not to go back to the pain doctor until after my daughter's birthday, IF I go at all - and that's inthe end of september. that will give me a good amount of time to see where my pain is at.

What i'm trying to tell myself is..yes, I will be sick. Yes I will lose sleep and twitch and cry and throw up and poo a lot....but then it will be over, right? I mean..tuesday should be my first day completely done with all the meds (that will give me about 10 to keep stashed away somewhere so if I get in a ton of pain I don't have to go all the way to the doctor to get another script - I won't have trouble taking them, I've never had "Cravings" or trouble taking my meds when/how I'm supposed to....but since I DO get kidney stones regularly and cysts on top of all my other pain I know that keeping a few around is a good thing for me)

so anyway back to my point...if I stop completely monday afternoon (or tuesday morning as was suggested above...that seems like a good idea) then by saturday I should feel a lot better, right? I mean I'm on a low dose...and I"m already tapering..I'm just hoping that I can be functioning in order to enjoy our move into our new home the weekend after this one....


also..even though I'm not an "addict" persay...do I still get to celebrate "clean" time? I still feel like this drug has taken ahold of my life, if in a different way from an addict, and I'm excited to start my life for the first REAL time in 5 years with a new perspective....I've had periods of not taking the meds before, but never have I said "no more for at least 5 months"....before it's always been "get more if the pain comes back".

[Ashelen]

oh good Lord sorry for the novel LOL I wanted to add...I will need all the hand-holding I can get. I've birthed two babies with almost no pain medicine, I've had many many kidney stones and ovarian cysts...I've held peoples' hands as they died, and I've lived with an abusive alcoholic mom all my life...and the battle I have ahead of me scares the cr@p out of me....does that make me a coward? this seems lke the one thing I'm not strong enough to face...but I know I'm going to.

let the hand-holding commence!

[10356]

Hi Ashelen.. I just wanted to throw my support in :) Congrats on reclaiming your Free life ! It sounds like you have everything you need The Hylands helped me tremendously as did the Valerian Root. I also walked everyday with my dogs. the movement helped more then anything. with moving and packing it will help with the anxiety and aches. I took Hot showers and they worked just as well as a bath..  make sure you drink a lot of fluids. although you were on a small amount it still causes slight dehydration so get a good sport's drink to replace electrolytes. Keeping yourself plenty hydrated will help combat the kidney stones..and force yourself to eat ok. My husband was on 1 a day for years He had quit with me and was surprised how emotional he was. just goes to show even a small dose can stunt our emotions. He could not believe the clarity he felt once off.. sleep will return just try to be patient and know this will pass.. I live with pain also and I never thought I would be free of it but I was very surprised that the level of pain I deal with has gone down after getting off the opiates.. I wish you a good life Free to leave when you want and for how long without counting any pills to make sure you have enough ! Keep a Positive attitude and know you are doing the very best thing for yourself and your family.. lesa

[Ashelen]

Bless you, lesa...thank you. your words are exactly the kind I need to hear!

[justneedtotalk]

I think you are definitely prepared this time and there is a great chance that you will be successful!  I just wanted to comment on keeping a few pills around.....You kind of answered yourself within the body of your post.....You want to see which pain is legitimate and which is not....The only way to do that is to give yourself a few months clean!  I promise you that you will be screaming for pills at some point early in your detox and if they are there your brain will find a way to convince you to take them.....I personally would flush them!  I am almost 5 weeks clean and do not crave nearly as much as I used to BUT if I had 30 of them sitting in my house I would probably take them.....I am a habitual relapser and I am not strong enough yet to be around them even.....

You asked questions about detox time and severity......The nice thing about detox is that you get out of it, what you put into it!  The more water, supplement, protein powder, anti-oxidants, and exercise you can get will dictate how severe and long the withdrawal affects will last.  I personally jumped CT off of a 130-180 mg hydro habbit and was functioning on day 4-5.....It will be difficult to get exercise and get all of the supplements down but if you force yourself, it WILL make you feel better faster!

I wish you the best of luck and hope you decide to flush the rest of your pills.....The only way out is up!  God Bless!

[Ashelen]

bless you and thank you for responding...I will seriously consider it. I'm going to talk to my husband about my plan after talking to everyone and go from there...

you guys are amazing, thank you

[Ashelen]

ok while I'm getting myself ready...I figured out where to find the Hyland's, but where would I find valerian root or chamomile tea? I also know where to find the melatonin as I've taken it before.

What does anyone think about the atenolol since it's similar to clonidine? also - like I listed above I have several anti-nausea meds...will any of these be good to have on hand? (zofran, phenergan...I also have flexeril, robaxin, and toradol).