husband is addicted to methadone..help me

[worriedwifeok]

my husband and i have been married for 20 years.  he has been addicted to some kind of drug the whole time we have been together. when i met him he drank beer and shot up crank. then after a few years he quit taking crank and continued to drink really bad for 13 years or so. then his back started hurting him again and he got an MRI. they told him he had degenerative disc disese. so then he started taking perscription pain pills. he did this really bad for 2 years. he was taking about 6 or 7 10mg lorotab / day.  he did quit drinking and hasn't touched alcohol in 3 years. but then the doc figured out that he was abusing the pain pills so he cut him off. he was withdrawling so bad that he went to a methadone clinic. he started at 30 mg/day and has been at 160mg/day for about 2 years.  he wants to quit, or says he does. but is scared that he'll have a heart attack. i'm fed up and feel like leaving sometimes. we spend $65 / week on methadone and he has so many problems. he is constipated all the time. eats prunes everyday and if he doesn't then hes plugged up and can't do anything. he eats icecream all the time. he used to be a better houskeeper than me but now all he does is sleep. oh, he also takes xanax everyday too. he hasn't worked for over a year now.  my question is what can i tell or suggest to him to do. he is really convinced that he's going to die if he quits taking the methadone. someone please help.

[beachtowel]

welcome to the forum..........

Sorry to hear about your husband......quitting drinking was a great accomplishment so he already knows the work needed.

You must be tired of it all the only option I would do here is put him into a inpatient detox to get off the methodone.............
From there I would recommend that you use a detox affilated with an inpatient drug rehab where a bus would take him directly there from the detox.

If he truely wants to get off without worry about his heart he would be watched by medical people at the detox.
He hasn't worked for a year so work isn't an issue.....

By the way a large number of people in the world have the same back problem that he has,  I also have it with a bad disc L-5 S-1
Just taking narcotic pain pills does not solve anything,  he needs to do what he has to help his back get stronger.....

I'm here if you have any other questions,,,good luck worried wife

[worriedwifeok]

thank you for the suggestion. i need all the help i can get, or he does i guess. i will keep an open mind, again thank you so much.

[beachtowel]

I was an addict for many years, as an addict I never thought of the victims that are in the addicts wake let alone having any remorse for the damage that I did.
Something you said about my words were nothing compared to....yes I know his mouth has probably been pretty hurtful. As an addict we really hurt the people that our closest to us. I feel bad for you because I know that you have been through hell................

[worriedwifeok]

yeah, it hasn't been fun at times but i managed to get through. i do have a little bit of help. when i was 12 my parents divorced and both joined a 12 step program. they have been sober for 25 years now so i have been around the support groups for along time. and when my husband first quit drinking, we went to open meetings together. just hearing others seemed to help him.  this is just a huge huge obstical for him. i am going to tell him later that i joined this forum and if he wants to read what you wrote i will let him. that may help.

[thelida]

Hi, welcome to the forum.  And hey...you are not alone.  My b/f is in the w/d process from both oxys and methadone right now (day 3!).
He should get inpatient detox, but if that's not going to work for some reason he needs to start tapering at 10-20% every day or every other day.  It's not going to be easy, but it's not impossible either.  
Here's some info that might help
http://www.dpeg.org/methadone_withdrawal.html
Wish you the best, and keep posting here, everyone is really supportive!

[worriedwifeok]

thank you so much and good luck to your boyfriend. let me know how if he is succesful.

[littlenaivewife510]

I just saw this forum.  I'm on the same boat only I'm not sure how many drugs my husband takes.  I guess one can say I'm really naive when it comes to figuring out how methadone affects the body so I can't tell if it's more than just methadone.  My husband has been on a methadone management program now for the last 10 years.  He was a heroin addict and an alcoholic since he was in his teens.  He's now 35.  He takes pills with his methadone every now and then and it just makes life hell for me.  He's already a compulsive liar so even if I confront him gently, he denies everything.  I would like some input as to how to see the triggers for someone to take pills in addition to already being on such a high dose of methadone (180ml).  When he's on pills, he's drowsy, irrational, compulsive, acts really strange (rearranges everything! and can't remember the last thing he just said).  It is hell.  I have tried testing him but it's always too late when I find out.  If someone out there could help me see the triggers, it would be really helpful.  Also, what are ways I can cope with it while he's high.  I am scared that he will hurt someone by driving.  Other than those episodes of darkness, he's a really sweet guy.  I've considered leaving him but I want to reach out first and see if I can help him.  He does not want to go to detox...yet.