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Oxycontin - 2nd day clean
My boyfriend hung himself about 2 months ago... ever since then I have been taking oxycontin to forget about the pain. I have been taking an upwards of 50 to 60 mg a day to function. Without it I feel like I am going to die. I have a huge history of addiction, starting with meth, vicodin, percocet and now oxy. I haven't had any in 2 days and I have muscle aches ALL over my body, I am tired and restless at the same time, I can't think straight, and I have missed my period (was due yesterday), depression.. . Are ALL of these withdrawal symptoms? If so, WHEN will they go away???
I'm 21 days sober from the percocet and I've been able to sleep very well, so yeah it does get better. The ony thing is, is that when you're going through it the stuff irked my nerves so bad. I couldn't begin to tell you how many ways I tried to sleep, meaning positions and places throughout my place. But yes, it does get better but I don't know how long it'll take you because everyone is different when it comes to RLS and all of the WD symptoms.
Thank you. I have restless legs too... last night was the WORST for me.. I couldn't stop moving. tossing, turning, legs moving. I woke up today with the worst leg pain ever. The xanax didn't even help! It goes away eventually, right?
We've all been where you are right now, so you don't have to apologize over and over again for being on the emotional rollercoaster! I think it's safe to say that we're all just glad to know you're not going anywhere. Keep posting, girl. This will get you through more than you'd ever imagine.
You're actually one of the lucky ones that has to try and stay awake, though. I know when I did my detox from home [like you, without any medications] it took all of me to try and get some sleep. I had restless legs all throughout the night. It was bad none the less. But in regard to the period thing, I am not completely sure about that. It's normal for your period to act up when you're going through something like this I'm sure.
You're actually one of the lucky ones that has to try and stay awake, though. I know when I did my detox from home [like you, without any medications] it took all of me to try and get some sleep. I had restless legs all throughout the night. It was bad none the less. But in regard to the period thing, I am not completely sure about that. It's normal for your period to act up when you're going through something like this I'm sure.
Also, do any of you know if going through WD's causes your period to be late? I know its a girl question, so any girls out there know?? I am a day late and I don't know if its from wd's or not, but I feel SICK as a dog.
Thank you. Sorry I kind of flipped out... I am VERY irational right now, and I feel like its from the WD's. As far as what I am doing for the WD's, nothing really. I started taking garlic pills... good for the heart and health. Other than that, I am trying to stay awake. Everything looks fuzzy, and I am dizzy when I try to walk around. I am also on antidepressants for my anxiety problems (cymbalta) and am also on Xanax for my anxiety. I DO NOT abuse my xanax. I only take 2 - 3 mg a day as prescribed. I hardly even take that. Xanax is not very "fun" for me, therefore I don't abuse it. I only take it when I feel overwhelmed. I am sorry if I thought anyone was attacking me. I guess what I really do need is tough love. Here I am with all these friends around me telling me im doing the right thing, but now I feel like they're just telling me this because they don't want to upset me.
Online people aren't afraid to upset others, therefore speak the truth. I am sorry again... I am just being a horrible emotional WRECK right now.
Hot / cold flashes, dizziness, achy... I can't even think right at the moment.
Online people aren't afraid to upset others, therefore speak the truth. I am sorry again... I am just being a horrible emotional WRECK right now.
Hot / cold flashes, dizziness, achy... I can't even think right at the moment.
Since you and I have recently become friends I figured I'd share some of my advice with you. I've read this entire thread top to bottom and right now I just want to give you this huge hug to let you know that everything will be okay in the end through all of this. I know what it's like to have lost someone to an unexpected death and then jump right on the bandwagon with another relationship. However, I feel like yours is a different situation since you went back to the father of your child in attempt to get the family back together. You mentioned that this decision was made while on the OC, so you're at least taking the first few steps you're in need of by admitting to yourself that this decision was poorly made at one time or another. It'd be beneficial to you and your recovery to possibly sit your boyfriend down at some point and let him know what's going on with you and how you feel. A lot of times we don't truly realize how supportive our "other halves" can really be in all of this. Give that a shot. Nothing negative can come from you getting off these pills and being honest with the man you have a child with.
I've grown to know a lot of the members that have responded to you here; And I'll be the first one to tell you that it's only tough love that they're giving to you. This is just what I needed when I first signed up for the forums. There are a lot of things that we, as addicts, tend to overlook. Right now I can honestly say that these people are only here to help you through your darkest hours. You know that I am going to be here for you, and I think you should not overlook or fail to see that the other members here are only doing the same thing.
We'll get you through this, so don't you worry one bit. Try doing some of the things that make you feel better, whether you were on the pills or not. Something that really helped me when I went through my detox at home was cleaning the house. The percocet was my "cleaning assistant" a lot of the times, might I add..... So when I was going through detox, I got up from the couch as much as I could and I cleaned my place top to bottom. It also helps to be in a clean environment when you're going through something like this. And speaking of detox, what are you doing right now to help you with a lot of the WD symptoms.
This forum will end up being your saving grace. I know that it was for me, as I've viewed this forum and ALL of the members who have helped you here as my lifeline. I don't know what I would do without it, and I hope you reach this point as well.
Many hugs, loves, thoughts and prayers are coming your way especially from me right now. Once again, you must know that these people are not here attacking you or calling you names. I promise you they aren't, sweety..
I've grown to know a lot of the members that have responded to you here; And I'll be the first one to tell you that it's only tough love that they're giving to you. This is just what I needed when I first signed up for the forums. There are a lot of things that we, as addicts, tend to overlook. Right now I can honestly say that these people are only here to help you through your darkest hours. You know that I am going to be here for you, and I think you should not overlook or fail to see that the other members here are only doing the same thing.
We'll get you through this, so don't you worry one bit. Try doing some of the things that make you feel better, whether you were on the pills or not. Something that really helped me when I went through my detox at home was cleaning the house. The percocet was my "cleaning assistant" a lot of the times, might I add..... So when I was going through detox, I got up from the couch as much as I could and I cleaned my place top to bottom. It also helps to be in a clean environment when you're going through something like this. And speaking of detox, what are you doing right now to help you with a lot of the WD symptoms.
This forum will end up being your saving grace. I know that it was for me, as I've viewed this forum and ALL of the members who have helped you here as my lifeline. I don't know what I would do without it, and I hope you reach this point as well.
Many hugs, loves, thoughts and prayers are coming your way especially from me right now. Once again, you must know that these people are not here attacking you or calling you names. I promise you they aren't, sweety..
We are all just trying to help you through this...nobody is attacking you.
Sometimes tough love is what we need to get motivated. I only wish you the best
Sometimes tough love is what we need to get motivated. I only wish you the best
Hey rxqueen...
Come on, don't leave over something someone said to you. You are on the internet and letting it all hang out. You have to expect this.
I am not sure who upset you but you have to be able to take this or you will not get to the other side. It is often hard to communicate through the written word.
Please listen as people are trying to help. If you walk away now, then where are you?
Please come back and talk with us......
Come on, don't leave over something someone said to you. You are on the internet and letting it all hang out. You have to expect this.
I am not sure who upset you but you have to be able to take this or you will not get to the other side. It is often hard to communicate through the written word.
Please listen as people are trying to help. If you walk away now, then where are you?
Please come back and talk with us......
cop out... no. What I think is a cop out is blaming someone for what someone else does. Just like his friends and family did. They all blamed me.... now THATS a cop out. Anyway, I want to end this thread because I am done talking about this and I am sorry I even brought it up.
Everbody carries their demons...your boyfriend carried his until he couldn't carry them anymore. What he did was wrong...yes. What he did was not about you. Perhaps had he got the counselling he so dearly needed, we would not be having this terrible discussion today. This is not your fault, but simply saying he didn't love you enough to live is a cop out...you know that. Stay close to those who love you right now...you need it.
Good Luck
Good Luck
Thank you. I feel like I was starting to get attacked there for a moment! I would like to think that he would want me to move on and do the things I wanted to do, and be the person I wanted to be. I do what I THINK is right, and even though sometimes it may not be, I still try to stand strong towards my decisions. I hope the physical withdrawals go away very soon. I feel like I can't even move very well at all. Legs, arms, back, neck, head.... everything, everywhere.
that is a tough one. sorry.
it sounds like maybe you are rolling with the punches there???
and that last one was a doozey. and you were not ready for it.
when i am depressed or not happy at how things are at the moment.... i think about exactly what i would like them to be like instead. and of course you cannot be with him again. but you can want something like you had before with him...... or anything else.
and keep concentrating and thinking about what you would like things to be like.
not thinking so much about what you don't like, because of course ....that doesn't feel good.
the physical withdrawl usually goes on for like 4 or 5 days bad and then gets better.
it sounds like maybe you are rolling with the punches there???
and that last one was a doozey. and you were not ready for it.
when i am depressed or not happy at how things are at the moment.... i think about exactly what i would like them to be like instead. and of course you cannot be with him again. but you can want something like you had before with him...... or anything else.
and keep concentrating and thinking about what you would like things to be like.
not thinking so much about what you don't like, because of course ....that doesn't feel good.
the physical withdrawl usually goes on for like 4 or 5 days bad and then gets better.
I don't necessarily want to 'forget' about him, but what he did was wrong. I learned THAT through counseling. What he did to his family, to me, to his roommates was wrong and it wasn't right. The way I see it is... He didn't love me enough to live, so why should I love someone who obviously didn't want to be loved? Its so complicated. I don't talk about it very often, and I would like to keep it out of my mind for good. I want to focus on being a sober mother, and a good friend to those in need. I am a very giving person, I give give give til there is nothing left. I feel empty at the end of the day, with only my pills to rely on.
...and don't get me wrong. I am a good mother. I don't use when I am around her (I only get to see her 3 hours a day because of my work schedule...) I usually end up taking the oxy right when I get to work so that it motivates me to get work done. Today.... I am so unmotivated.
The fact that you want him to go away is proof you need counselling.
As painful as bad memories can be, they will always be memories. Why would you want to forget somebody you loved?
As painful as bad memories can be, they will always be memories. Why would you want to forget somebody you loved?
I don't really have close family... I live in a whole different state than the rest of my family. We hardly ever talk anyway. I have close friends, and my ex has been there for me through everything, but I think I may have jumped the gun a little too quickly. Everyone else who was involved when my boyfriend died seems to be perfectly fine and over it already, so I figured, why shouldn't I be? But now I am realizing that he still haunts me and its making my cravings for drugs worse because I just want him to go away!
You will be an addict until the day you die. While you suffered a huge loss, and I don't discount that for a moment, it is now about you.
YOU need help to get on with your life and your child's.
YOU need help to get on with your life and your child's.
Don't take this the wrong way, but your boyfriend killed himself, and you were back with your ex within 2 months. NO WAY you came to terms with it..I'm not a shrink, but you hadn't even started the grieving process yet. You rebounded from denial right back to your ex.
You should go talk to your councellor. It will do you a world of good. You are still very young, and you need to get a handle on this quick, especially for your daughter. Do you have close family?
You should go talk to your councellor. It will do you a world of good. You are still very young, and you need to get a handle on this quick, especially for your daughter. Do you have close family?
Thats the thing, I thought I had come to terms with my loss. I was an addict before, during and after everything happened. It just got way worse after he died.
I was so sure I was over it, that I got back together with my ex (the father of my daughter) to get our family back together, but I made that decision on oxy. Now I don't know if thats what I want anymore. I feel like I have messed up my brain so much I am going crazy.
I was so sure I was over it, that I got back together with my ex (the father of my daughter) to get our family back together, but I made that decision on oxy. Now I don't know if thats what I want anymore. I feel like I have messed up my brain so much I am going crazy.
Mental problems are the root of most addiction...most addicts treat the symptom (drugs), and not the disease. You need to come to terms with the terrible loss, get at peace with yourself, pick youself up off the floor and be strong for your daughter.
Please, please hun, do it......and stick around here. there are some wonderful people here who will hold your hand and have never even met you. I promise good things. Again, I am so sorry for your loss.
Thank you also. I guess that is why I joined this forum, to find the support I need to get through my addiction and physical problems. Also my mental problems... I guess.
Thank you. Its only day 2 and I feel the pain rising up again, as if he just died yesterday. I think I may just start going back to counseling... :(
Go back to counselling...It will do you a world of good. The drug habit isn't that big yet so you should feel better physically pretty quick.
You need some help with your head to get you through this, as well as plenty of good....clean friends.
Good Luck
You need some help with your head to get you through this, as well as plenty of good....clean friends.
Good Luck
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