You are not damaged forever. Have you thought about talking to an addiction counselor? Right now all you are doing is focusing on the negative and it is playing hell on your brain. You need to talk about all of this and work thru it. This is not permanent. Are you taking any vitamins? Feed your body something good right now. Get out and sit in the sun and get some fresh air. You are worth fighting for.
Read your post and feel for you. Was wondering how your doing today?
Another forum member gave you some "helpful" tips on your other thread as well.
I commented on your other thread and asked you a few questions, too.
During one day's time, it's best to just stick with one thread and keep checking it for replies. You can add to your thread all you need to and that way we can keep better track of you.
You aren't mentally damaged forever though it feels like it at times. If you can go read my questions on your other thread, it will help us all to know more about you and be better able to respond to you.