possible drug addiction

[Nana]

We have a young man in our office,he just turned 21, who has had drug problems in the past but claims to be clean, his actions are very eratic, sometimes he seems extremely happy and other times very depressed. He just moved back home with his parents and often, he says, goes home for lunch. When he returns, many times his face is scarlet red, he coughs and sniffs alot. In time the redness goes away, (maybe an hour). I am concerned about him, I believe hes back on the drugs. Does the redness in his face indicate the use of cocaine? How can we help him?

[Alex to Nana re your Dec 29, 2000 Query]

To find out the symptoms and effects of cocaine and other street drugs have a look at www.narcononcenter.com which contains easy to read and understand information.

I'll be looking out for your response.

[Brighty to Barbara]

I really loved your post. In spite of your problems and personal sufferings you are not vanquished !! You are one powerful lady. After reading your post I felt like I was reading an adventure novel. I have had such a traditional life. I feel like I haven't lived yet after seeing how much you have accomplished in nearly the same amount of years on this earth. God bless you and may you continue to beat your demons. Hope you stay here with us. Love and prayers, Brighty

[barbara to pain and lortab]

I moved out here about 18 years ago to live in the deep tropics, warm climate and desired island life. I also wanted to remain under the U.S. flag as there is more protection and stability  with laws than say, working in the Philippines or another foriegn country.

I have had the job of my dreams for many years but got that after I moved out here. I moved on a risk, a whim. My health was bad in cold weather, fibro or EBV ETC, and I really suffer in anything colder than 70 degrees, so stiff and in pain I can barely move. So I also was moving here for survival as well.

I moved with a boyfriend who also agreed to take a risk but that relationship did not work out. We had a house together I did not want to give it up so I bought his share out. I needed to work a full-time second job to accomplish that so I mowed lawns for 4 1/2 years. The pain in my body was always bad but I was on two Emperin 3 per day which helped. When the Doc I was seeing moved, I was cut off and the pain became unbearable.

That's when I started drinking, to self medicate for the anxiety disorder and the pain. This went on until the company I worked for sold and I had to drop half my mowing clients because the alcoholism was progressing. I met an alcoholic boyfriend and so the stress of unemployment and his abusivness placed me into super heavy drinking. Then, out of the blue I got a call from another company that wanted to hire me. The alcoholic boyfriend started becoming physically abusive due to fear my working would lead me to another man.

I had to have him arrested to get rid of him. When I met him he was unemployed, had no home, no car and only a guitar and songs. Somehow by destiny I picked him and we did some music together during this time.

He got out of jail after two months and came right back and I realized the alcohol withdrawal was so bad I was already having the "shakes" only a few hours after my last drink. I knew it was time to quit so I approached my boss, told her the truth and saw a Doctor in October 1999. It went on from there with seizures, DT's and pure living hell. I had to have the boyfriend put in jail again since he just would not leave. He's still in the clinker today.

Now, a little over a year later I am almost eight months sober and no desire to drink. I have a depression problem and seizure disorder from all the seizures I had while out-patient detoxing various times.

I don't want to babble too long but that's the main scoop. My hobbies are going to the jungle to collect rare plants, the ocean, animals and nature. I turned my house into a jungle like area. I have four dogs and five cats. That's my family. I like song writing and book writing. I have many songs waiting to go for mastering. One Master Tape is finished and the first song believe it or not is  "Shakedown breakdown". It's about alcoholism and withdrawal seizures. I am almost 45, I turn that in March.

That's about it. How about you. Now it's your turn. Tell us about yourself.

[Gina]

I tried to post this reply on Dec. 30 but my computer wouldn't comply. Although you have received many answers, I printed mine out to send to you. I won't harass you with your rude answer since that's been done. The reason for the communal response about not approaching him is for you own sake and well-being. As people on this site , we have either a history or knowledge of drug use and behavior. We can guarantee that if you approach him, he will DENY it. He will not say, "Gee, you noticed and I'm so relieved that now I can get the help I need, thank you so much!" If you are having a hard time doing and/or saying nothing, than maybe you could try a real casual approach such as "Hey, I was thinking of you the other day and realized how much it must have taken for you to confide in me about your past. I want you to know that it made me feel (honored or special or insert your own). If you ever need an ear in the future I hope you know you could always come to me. Anything else will send him running! Trust me! I hope this helps your dilemma.

[barbara to pain and lortab]

It sounds like you are afraid to fire him for some reason and want others to give you excuses. You need the backbone to decide for yourself while following the laws or risk a lawsuit. It sure helps to be protected from angry employers like you. I would not want to work for person like you.

[J.B. to Brian and Vicky]

Barbara, please be nice to Nana!  She probably meant well but just doesn't understand things the way we do.  God knows she won't be coming back here again for advice.  But you never know, maybe she likes us for our honesty.  

I wanted to know how you ended up on Guam of all places.  It sounds like an island paradise to me!  I spent two years on Oahu, Hawaii many years ago and remember the beaches and skin diving and surfing.  It just seems like an impossible dream right now, but I would like to experience all this again, soon!

Just stuck in Indiana for the winter,

J.B.