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Can you relate?
I need to quit alcohol for good but it's just such a struggle. I feel so proud of myself when I don't drink. I feel the energy, I am a better Mom, I feel productive. It feels like a glimpse of what I used to be 10 years ago when I drank only very little or when I was very young not drinking at all and was able to get excited about little things in life. I get so determined and it feels easy for a couple of weeks. I feel like I can go forever without a glass of wine. Then I have one and the whole world just falls apart. I feel guilty but the wine kicks in and I'm happy, for a moment. Next day I feel terribly sick because of the repeating pattern of binges. My husband tells not to be so hard on myself that it's ok but I know it's hurting me badly at this point, physically and emotionally. Been drinking 5-8 glasses of wine daily for years. I don't think it's ok to even have that one night every other 2-3 weeks with wine. I beg for strength. I don't crave the taste but I do crave the effect sometimes. It is just not worth it. The price has become too much. It takes me up to a week to get back to somewhat normal after one evening with wine. The aftermath is horrible. I am going to try my hardest again. Can anyone relate?
Thank you for listening..
Thank you for listening..
Thank you, will do and apply. Choosing not to pick up that drink. 26 days sober.
Hi
I had counselling for alcohol addiction and with no pressure, no criticism from the Counsellor etc - ll he kept reiterating is that 'You have a CHOICE whether you have a drink or not'.
Kept telling myself that everytime I wanted a drink and it worked and kept me on the straight and narrow.
I had counselling for alcohol addiction and with no pressure, no criticism from the Counsellor etc - ll he kept reiterating is that 'You have a CHOICE whether you have a drink or not'.
Kept telling myself that everytime I wanted a drink and it worked and kept me on the straight and narrow.
Hi! I'm an ex alcoholic, Yuric. Alcohol doesn't give us anything good. Nothing at all. I understand it well now, after 7 years of being sober. I've been happy especially for the last 4 years. I'm a free man now. If I have managed, than anyone can. Don't doubt.
If anybody wants to listn or talk about my story, my skype is: yuricgor
If anybody wants to listn or talk about my story, my skype is: yuricgor
It's a pleasure to be your non drinking buddy honey , and you'll find some great folks that have the exact same thing in mind that i do, to reach out to newcomers like i was reached out to. You'll do the same in the months and years to come. I'm so glad that you are straightening out for your son. It' s not too late to save him from the harm that he's endured. It's important that we don't mince words about the harm we've caused, it's real. The reason why i think you can make it , is that I made it in my son's 13th year, just like you're doing now. And i KNOW that you can do it, and that you do have enough strength to do it for your son. He needs you to be the only sober parent he's got. It's not ideal that his dad is a drunk, it's a shame, really., but if you are sober, it's enough for him to be able to gravitate towards you being his primary parent. He'll trust that he can talk to you about his life, and his struggles in his own peer group. You couldn't have been able to have helped him if you were using. You mentioned that your dad was a drunk, but you didn't say your mom was. And you got to be an alcoholic yourself. The difference here is that you're dear mother, if she was sober, was not a "recovering alcoholic". In other words, she had no idea what a kid like you coming from a home with a parent who abused substances, was going to go through in their own lives Starting at your son's age. You are far better equipped to help your son navigate through addictions if you can just hang on......
If you can just go towards the light, go towards the people that have got some long term sobriety and can keep you honest. Don't be afraid to hear what others have to say. Take it all with a grain of salt. There may be someone in the program that you don't care for the way that they talk to you. And that is absolutely okay. Walk away, and give somebody else a chance to talk to you and help you. In other words, don't let anyone take from you your role as Protector and Teacher of your dear boy. Otherwise, with all the drugs out there, I truly fear for him. I can't say where my boy would be if I hadn't of been there sober for him when he was your son's age. I can remember my life, although my father had quit drinking, there was abuse. My mother, although not herself abusive allowed it to happen. In other words, like your son having two drunks in the house, I had, and he would have NO ONE to help him navigate through what he must in these next 8 - 9 years until he's a young adult. My life was absolute hell coming from a home where i had to love from a parent. And love means being real to a kid. Being accessible and being able to put the kid first , all the time.
So while i don't envy you having your husband still drinking , i know you can get through this. Don't make his problem your problem Frankly, if you can stick him in the basement to drink, away from you and your son, that would be the best thing that could happen, so that neither of you had to sit an look at it. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, he's got to know that he's not being a good example, and if he isn't , you can tell him. Don' t be afraid to stand up for you and your boys needs, You have to have an environment that is booze free. Put him in the bedroom, and sleep in the living room if you must. Do whatever it takes, to get your life as your son's advocate, into as peaceful a place as you possibly can..
I'm here every step of the way. You know you can message me too , right? i'll check in every day. Peace to you sister, You Got This. And if you ever feel you don't , Get to where the sober people are, simple as that. Keep it Simple. right?
Love to you, talk to you soon.
Liz
If you can just go towards the light, go towards the people that have got some long term sobriety and can keep you honest. Don't be afraid to hear what others have to say. Take it all with a grain of salt. There may be someone in the program that you don't care for the way that they talk to you. And that is absolutely okay. Walk away, and give somebody else a chance to talk to you and help you. In other words, don't let anyone take from you your role as Protector and Teacher of your dear boy. Otherwise, with all the drugs out there, I truly fear for him. I can't say where my boy would be if I hadn't of been there sober for him when he was your son's age. I can remember my life, although my father had quit drinking, there was abuse. My mother, although not herself abusive allowed it to happen. In other words, like your son having two drunks in the house, I had, and he would have NO ONE to help him navigate through what he must in these next 8 - 9 years until he's a young adult. My life was absolute hell coming from a home where i had to love from a parent. And love means being real to a kid. Being accessible and being able to put the kid first , all the time.
So while i don't envy you having your husband still drinking , i know you can get through this. Don't make his problem your problem Frankly, if you can stick him in the basement to drink, away from you and your son, that would be the best thing that could happen, so that neither of you had to sit an look at it. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, he's got to know that he's not being a good example, and if he isn't , you can tell him. Don' t be afraid to stand up for you and your boys needs, You have to have an environment that is booze free. Put him in the bedroom, and sleep in the living room if you must. Do whatever it takes, to get your life as your son's advocate, into as peaceful a place as you possibly can..
I'm here every step of the way. You know you can message me too , right? i'll check in every day. Peace to you sister, You Got This. And if you ever feel you don't , Get to where the sober people are, simple as that. Keep it Simple. right?
Love to you, talk to you soon.
Liz
Hi Liz,
I can't thank you enough for your incredible support.
My son is 12 years old and my everything. I told him many times that I'm quitting but I never followed through. I feel absolutely horrible about it. The only thing I can do though at this point is to move forward and live up to my promise. We talked about my behavior when I'm drinking. He told me he will take the "boring mom" just drinking hot chocolate with him watching a tv show over the "over the top happy & crazy mom" that's drinking ANY DAY, EVERY DAY. It almost broke my heart. I thought I wasn't really hurting anyone until he told me it wasn't fun to be around two drunk parents. I will have regrets about all this for the rest of my life. I grew up around an alcoholic father and I swore to myself when I was my boy's age probably even younger that I would never drink alcohol in my life and look at where I'm at now. I love my son with all my heart, he's an incredible sweetheart and I will do everything in my power to never touch alcohol or any substance ever again so I can be the best mom for all the years that are ahead of us. I told him about the meetings I will go to.
I found a closed group that meets every Tuesday very close to my home. You're right, I didn't make it a priority but I'm now. Thanks to you. It's been 14 days today without alcohol. I'm so grateful.
Thank you for what you do. I can't express it enough. :-)
I'm really glad to hear that you went bowling with your son. It's incredible just how important it is to look back on the memories we make with our kids when we're clean and sober. When we look back when we were drinking, there is always a sense of loss that goes with those memories, but when we realize how important it is , as you are now, to stay sober for our kids, it pays off in huge rewards in the future. So please keep it up, for you, and for your child. Is your son aware of your struggles with alcohol? Have you admitted to your son that you are an alcoholic? It really helps to keep us accountable to tell our family members , especially our kids, that we are quitting and why. The example that we set for them matters so much more than we know at the time. It would break your heart to know that your son could not get through a night without drinking as you were, 6 - 8 drinks a night, right? but although you may have shown him that you were having to drink (and kids are pretty smart, and pick up on things that we sometimes think that they don't, the amount may not have been noted by your son, but seeing mommy with a drink in her hand , often, is a message to him). you can now teach him that it's not a good idea. You can tell him why. The message is a powerful one, and would go a long way to help him to realize that you needed recovery, that drinking alcohol every day causes huge problems n a person's life.
Thankfully my own son, now 27, knows that if he had more than a few drinks a couple of times a week, it would cause a problem like his mom had. My pain and suffering , though a bad example at the time, helped him to drink responsibly. i think. We've talked about what happens at parties, and talked about not ever "trying" cocaine, and heroin. From my experience he knows that he most likely would be addicted his first "try" , so my experience underscored for him the dangers of experimenting. Unfortunately, he picked up the smoking habit. and i have to say that is because everyone in our family smoked, for generations. I know it affected me, when i was 12 and picked up the habit, and i know that my example was a terrible one for him. The more we talk to our kids about the dangers of ever trying an addictive substance, the less likely they are to pick up.
Be careful about going anywhere , where there is a bar. Although you did well not to have ordered a glass of wine, you put yourself in a position to pick one up by being near a bar. Maybe there is a bowling place, that you could go to that didn't have a bar. Again, if you talk to your son and let him know why you are considering changing places to bowl (it would be great if you made it habit to bring your son bowling, they grow up so fast, and he'll be off to college and his own life, lickety split) Again, you would be showing him the way to avoid trouble - like avoiding parties with school chums that are heavily drinking or doing hard drugs, (and it will come up in his life). Just a thought. I still don't' go to licensed establishments 16 years later.
You've said you have problems about 2 weeks into sobriety. I really think you need to get yourself to an AA meeting, and make that a priority over anything else. I know when we have kids, and a family that it can be hard to give yourself that time, but it is for your family that you would be going. It might be that with your husband still drinking and him not being to understand why you would need to gg, might be stifling you and affecting your resolve to take the time to go to meetings. I know you mentioned that you were shy, please know that at the meetings, with what you have in common with these folks, your shyness will resolve itself, and you'll be made to feel welcome in a closed meeting. It's easier to handle a closed meeting rather than an open one, or speaker meeting if you are shy. You'll be able to connect to people in a closed meeting , while in an open meeting, you might only really enjoy it if you know people (from the closed meeting), In a closed meeting,you can ask if there's anyone that goes to open meetings, and ask if you could join them when they do, and make it a nice night out with friends.
Congrats on your day 10 clean. Keep it up. But please please, get yourself to a meeting. You have a problem with day 14 remember.and you need to start to get support from somewhere to help you. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I'm praying for you during the next week or so, as you've said you rarely get by the 2nd week. Hugs to you Mom. Liz
Thankfully my own son, now 27, knows that if he had more than a few drinks a couple of times a week, it would cause a problem like his mom had. My pain and suffering , though a bad example at the time, helped him to drink responsibly. i think. We've talked about what happens at parties, and talked about not ever "trying" cocaine, and heroin. From my experience he knows that he most likely would be addicted his first "try" , so my experience underscored for him the dangers of experimenting. Unfortunately, he picked up the smoking habit. and i have to say that is because everyone in our family smoked, for generations. I know it affected me, when i was 12 and picked up the habit, and i know that my example was a terrible one for him. The more we talk to our kids about the dangers of ever trying an addictive substance, the less likely they are to pick up.
Be careful about going anywhere , where there is a bar. Although you did well not to have ordered a glass of wine, you put yourself in a position to pick one up by being near a bar. Maybe there is a bowling place, that you could go to that didn't have a bar. Again, if you talk to your son and let him know why you are considering changing places to bowl (it would be great if you made it habit to bring your son bowling, they grow up so fast, and he'll be off to college and his own life, lickety split) Again, you would be showing him the way to avoid trouble - like avoiding parties with school chums that are heavily drinking or doing hard drugs, (and it will come up in his life). Just a thought. I still don't' go to licensed establishments 16 years later.
You've said you have problems about 2 weeks into sobriety. I really think you need to get yourself to an AA meeting, and make that a priority over anything else. I know when we have kids, and a family that it can be hard to give yourself that time, but it is for your family that you would be going. It might be that with your husband still drinking and him not being to understand why you would need to gg, might be stifling you and affecting your resolve to take the time to go to meetings. I know you mentioned that you were shy, please know that at the meetings, with what you have in common with these folks, your shyness will resolve itself, and you'll be made to feel welcome in a closed meeting. It's easier to handle a closed meeting rather than an open one, or speaker meeting if you are shy. You'll be able to connect to people in a closed meeting , while in an open meeting, you might only really enjoy it if you know people (from the closed meeting), In a closed meeting,you can ask if there's anyone that goes to open meetings, and ask if you could join them when they do, and make it a nice night out with friends.
Congrats on your day 10 clean. Keep it up. But please please, get yourself to a meeting. You have a problem with day 14 remember.and you need to start to get support from somewhere to help you. Nothing changes if nothing changes. I'm praying for you during the next week or so, as you've said you rarely get by the 2nd week. Hugs to you Mom. Liz
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