Aa
king of pain
Why would I continue a cycle that means my immenent destruction, with an alcoholic who as this cycle goes full circle, preforms infidelities that make no sense, and self destructs, leaving me destroyed as well, and unable to even function from grief. 25 years I seem to have been an enabler, I am trying to reach out and get the answers I need...its been 1 week since my wife moved in with a guy suddenly. It is known that tequila makes her clothes fall off...but this doesn't start happenening till later in her relapse. Once again I am barely hanging on to a good career, I have a daughter thats 17 and ripped in half three months before graduation, and this suddenly seema so unreal....like a nightmare I'm going to wake up from. I am experiancing feelings of needing her to end this, does she want this guy, he is much younger....but a known alcoholic about town. My wife made statements while drunk, pointing out younger drinking men. I havnt touched alcohol in thirty years, my statement that I have an alcoholic in recovery in the past. My wife in the last year even offered herself to a man with two months to live. Her alcoholic
mother was living with the guy, Most of this is becoming reality now, I just confirmed the information, but my wifes
affair with a married man earlier had no chance of success, yet she did it anyway. This is part of a cycle that happenes during late relapse. I came to a diiferent town 15 years ago , my life was destroyed by scandel, a career as a ranger wasted. I picked myself up some how, got work, and got the kids into school. She finished recovery back then and came home. We ended up buying the house and having 5 or six good years. Over time, her alcoholic
mom and brother followed. My wife was drinking again, and I was watching her ,(die), in my opinion. We had
many more domestic calls, (me), she even stepped out in the street one night and dissapeared into a guys
truck she didnt even know. She came back with her pants torn, and my weddings rings were gone.
Then I started to realize I was losing her, I thought she would crash and burn, and I would have my chance to save her and us again. Like a dwi, or something. I felt I couldn't force her to get help, just gently ask, during
moments of her sober, which got shorter and shorter. Their were rumours flying of affairs, my wife was telling
me she loved me and lying when I asked if she had ****** someone else again. (This seems typical),
in late stage). I was just going to work, coming home, and remaining very passive, for a year, she made me
do some things in the end, more sex, dirty dancing, I was getting what little more time from her that I could before
an end I knew was coming. Finally, all in one night a week ago, I have a phone in my left ear confirming an affair
with a married man, and a phone in my right ear, with my daughter screaming that mom was ******* a guy
she picked up at the bar in five minutes.
There is much pain on my end, I think I have figured out that some of the rumours that my wife was given alcohol as a child in the bottle, and saw her parents beat each other. I think after her mom came over, she was triggered into her moms own alcoholic whorelike tendencies. I have been told her mom did the same **** when my wife
was a child. I was only told this recently. I am trying to let go, I know I am supposed to....but cant quite get there,
seems I have 3 struggles, which are
1) Non drinking enabler- well into the manipulation of an alcoholic spouse.
2) fatherlike guilts instead as well as husband like
3) moral battle, how do I let a soul go and possibly die? especially one I am still in love with?
seems to be a dark spiritual battle going on here in my mind as well.
I know this **** is bigger than me, my daughter is in shock, but wont admit it, mom is *****, I hate her.
I explained to her that I am an enabler, who struggled to save his alcoholic, and I am having trouble with
hatred, because I feel only great pain, loss, and pity. I am trying to reach out and get help, but can't even maintain order in my brain for more than five minutes. I know I have a divorce to file. A current restraining order which I just
renewed today. I have not been able to communicate with my wife, and I seem to be wanting her to tell me its over, so I can move on, or is this another self destruct, I want to hear her say....I dont love you. You know ...I saw alott
of things I think on court today....I saw anger and refusal in my wifes face....she would not meet my eyes...yeah..
I lose some control of my dignity...when around her. But she did not fight back. I knew this was my last chance
to ask her to get help, which was also a conditrion of the restraining order. When I left court, I had a restraining order, that barred her from being at the house for a year. Custody of my daughter which is mute, because shes 18 in three months. She wants to party and I am suffering guilt that this is my fault. By the same token, I am proud of her, she doesnt smoke, I do, she's not an alcoholic yet, but has had some trouble with drinking in her earlier teens, and acting out, because her mom was also raped while drunk.
The rape was another nightmare for me. I ended up persuing the case myself...it probably would have died
had I not persued it. A man is wanted for rape to this day, and I feel justified in this paticular infedilty, because
I know he did rape her while passed out. She woke up underneath him, and I found out later.
I went after his job, his life, and eventually...he ran.
I have destroyed people in the past as well......they were bad people....I have no remorse.....but why was she
always attracted to people who just wanted one thing, and why did she tease this? Often...with no possible
good outcome for herself.?
I have even almost killed a man when I was very young, during this cycle of hers. Thank god someone with a
level head....was there to give me an excuse to level out myself.
I believe I am a good man, my wife even stated such, as well as angry...your perfect.
At this stage of our sickness, I seem to know I have a wife that I have to let go of....its now a matter of self
preservation for me..but doing it seems impossible in one week. She is staying at the younger bum guys place at time. I wonder if her choice is because he's an alcoholic too? Is this her wanting young stuff as she threatened in
the months prior? Does she even know what shes doing? Is she going to die?
I have a good job, and its stressed from all this, but still salvagable...I have explained the enabler thing to the guys over time, and they know I'm trying to function, but cant do it last two days. I cant sleep, cant eat. High anxiety.
I need to get this divorce going, but relive our marriage everytime I face them.
It seems like as my wife got sicker, she was saying goodbye somehow t0o. Lunch was ready everyday, I never asked for that once, dinner was always done....never asked her to do that either, she just did, and I miss her cooking. I am losing weight fast...lol. We danced to music, and sang together in the this end of us, I cherished it
even while suspicious we were ending. (Been down some of this road before). She said, "I love you" the morning
before everything peaked..it caught my attention: because it wasnt the normal "I love you", I believe it was
heartfelt. She knew I was going to find out about the affairs, and knew her brother was going to call and tell
me. This must have been hell for her. Weve been there before too. Thats when she destructed and picked up
a guy at the bar in less than 20 minutes tops, was under him. There was a message on the phone from her
brother wanting to talk to me...and I knew....because we hate eachother, I called him. and he told me of
the affair in my left ear, while my daughter was screaming on the phone i my right, that mom was screwing
some jerk.
That is all for now.....I
mother was living with the guy, Most of this is becoming reality now, I just confirmed the information, but my wifes
affair with a married man earlier had no chance of success, yet she did it anyway. This is part of a cycle that happenes during late relapse. I came to a diiferent town 15 years ago , my life was destroyed by scandel, a career as a ranger wasted. I picked myself up some how, got work, and got the kids into school. She finished recovery back then and came home. We ended up buying the house and having 5 or six good years. Over time, her alcoholic
mom and brother followed. My wife was drinking again, and I was watching her ,(die), in my opinion. We had
many more domestic calls, (me), she even stepped out in the street one night and dissapeared into a guys
truck she didnt even know. She came back with her pants torn, and my weddings rings were gone.
Then I started to realize I was losing her, I thought she would crash and burn, and I would have my chance to save her and us again. Like a dwi, or something. I felt I couldn't force her to get help, just gently ask, during
moments of her sober, which got shorter and shorter. Their were rumours flying of affairs, my wife was telling
me she loved me and lying when I asked if she had ****** someone else again. (This seems typical),
in late stage). I was just going to work, coming home, and remaining very passive, for a year, she made me
do some things in the end, more sex, dirty dancing, I was getting what little more time from her that I could before
an end I knew was coming. Finally, all in one night a week ago, I have a phone in my left ear confirming an affair
with a married man, and a phone in my right ear, with my daughter screaming that mom was ******* a guy
she picked up at the bar in five minutes.
There is much pain on my end, I think I have figured out that some of the rumours that my wife was given alcohol as a child in the bottle, and saw her parents beat each other. I think after her mom came over, she was triggered into her moms own alcoholic whorelike tendencies. I have been told her mom did the same **** when my wife
was a child. I was only told this recently. I am trying to let go, I know I am supposed to....but cant quite get there,
seems I have 3 struggles, which are
1) Non drinking enabler- well into the manipulation of an alcoholic spouse.
2) fatherlike guilts instead as well as husband like
3) moral battle, how do I let a soul go and possibly die? especially one I am still in love with?
seems to be a dark spiritual battle going on here in my mind as well.
I know this **** is bigger than me, my daughter is in shock, but wont admit it, mom is *****, I hate her.
I explained to her that I am an enabler, who struggled to save his alcoholic, and I am having trouble with
hatred, because I feel only great pain, loss, and pity. I am trying to reach out and get help, but can't even maintain order in my brain for more than five minutes. I know I have a divorce to file. A current restraining order which I just
renewed today. I have not been able to communicate with my wife, and I seem to be wanting her to tell me its over, so I can move on, or is this another self destruct, I want to hear her say....I dont love you. You know ...I saw alott
of things I think on court today....I saw anger and refusal in my wifes face....she would not meet my eyes...yeah..
I lose some control of my dignity...when around her. But she did not fight back. I knew this was my last chance
to ask her to get help, which was also a conditrion of the restraining order. When I left court, I had a restraining order, that barred her from being at the house for a year. Custody of my daughter which is mute, because shes 18 in three months. She wants to party and I am suffering guilt that this is my fault. By the same token, I am proud of her, she doesnt smoke, I do, she's not an alcoholic yet, but has had some trouble with drinking in her earlier teens, and acting out, because her mom was also raped while drunk.
The rape was another nightmare for me. I ended up persuing the case myself...it probably would have died
had I not persued it. A man is wanted for rape to this day, and I feel justified in this paticular infedilty, because
I know he did rape her while passed out. She woke up underneath him, and I found out later.
I went after his job, his life, and eventually...he ran.
I have destroyed people in the past as well......they were bad people....I have no remorse.....but why was she
always attracted to people who just wanted one thing, and why did she tease this? Often...with no possible
good outcome for herself.?
I have even almost killed a man when I was very young, during this cycle of hers. Thank god someone with a
level head....was there to give me an excuse to level out myself.
I believe I am a good man, my wife even stated such, as well as angry...your perfect.
At this stage of our sickness, I seem to know I have a wife that I have to let go of....its now a matter of self
preservation for me..but doing it seems impossible in one week. She is staying at the younger bum guys place at time. I wonder if her choice is because he's an alcoholic too? Is this her wanting young stuff as she threatened in
the months prior? Does she even know what shes doing? Is she going to die?
I have a good job, and its stressed from all this, but still salvagable...I have explained the enabler thing to the guys over time, and they know I'm trying to function, but cant do it last two days. I cant sleep, cant eat. High anxiety.
I need to get this divorce going, but relive our marriage everytime I face them.
It seems like as my wife got sicker, she was saying goodbye somehow t0o. Lunch was ready everyday, I never asked for that once, dinner was always done....never asked her to do that either, she just did, and I miss her cooking. I am losing weight fast...lol. We danced to music, and sang together in the this end of us, I cherished it
even while suspicious we were ending. (Been down some of this road before). She said, "I love you" the morning
before everything peaked..it caught my attention: because it wasnt the normal "I love you", I believe it was
heartfelt. She knew I was going to find out about the affairs, and knew her brother was going to call and tell
me. This must have been hell for her. Weve been there before too. Thats when she destructed and picked up
a guy at the bar in less than 20 minutes tops, was under him. There was a message on the phone from her
brother wanting to talk to me...and I knew....because we hate eachother, I called him. and he told me of
the affair in my left ear, while my daughter was screaming on the phone i my right, that mom was screwing
some jerk.
That is all for now.....I
Hi and welcome to the forum. I am sara, a recovering alcoholic. I read and reread your post. It is very tragic in many ways. First off i want to say to you is your wife is a very sick woman. She is a raging alcoholic and her affairs are being triggered from her childhood. We seem to think that the only way to find and feel love is thru sex. It feeds our needs and we think as long as we can find a man to bed down with us we still have it. I am in no way sticking up for her but i know where she is coming from and why. A younger man makes us feel young and attractive. She is also going for guys who drink as they dont call her out for her behavior. It has to be up to her to stop this insanity. She will die if she continues on this path. There is nothing you can do for her until she is ready to stop. Just know she isnt doing any of this to you and your daughter on purpose. It is the nature of the beast. She doesnt know how to love and be loved as her mother certainly was no role model by the sounds of it. As for you, you need to get some help with this. There is alanon which is free and there are also therapists. Dont let yourself be destroyed by her actions. Fight for you. You dont deserve this. The guilt will consume you, I know this is easier said than done but in time you will make progress. Your life doesnt need to be full of her insanity. It is time for you to quit living in her addiction. Take care of you and your daughter. Please do something about this right away before you get sick. It is time to let her go and move on with your life~~~sara
thank you for comment sarah...it helped me calm down inside.Pretty close to the best insight ive seen....and I knew I was right. It just didnt hit me till too late. I do blame myself for not nipping this in the bud when she started to relapse.I thought she had to want to get help herself and we tried to talk
of this, but she was caught up hard. I think in this case, the let them hit rock bottom first rule.....was a mistake....I dont think there is a rock bottom for her. Her mother is calling drunk now...and telling me to leave her
alone....and I know its because she wants a drunk companion...it is the most horrible, unconsionable selfishness Ive ever experianced.
Shes lucky there are laws that say we cannot cull her. As I start to get angry instead of uncontrollable weeping, the fighter is coming out...this fighter just wants to take control of the situation.
of this, but she was caught up hard. I think in this case, the let them hit rock bottom first rule.....was a mistake....I dont think there is a rock bottom for her. Her mother is calling drunk now...and telling me to leave her
alone....and I know its because she wants a drunk companion...it is the most horrible, unconsionable selfishness Ive ever experianced.
Shes lucky there are laws that say we cannot cull her. As I start to get angry instead of uncontrollable weeping, the fighter is coming out...this fighter just wants to take control of the situation.
Hi I am new to this site so still finding my way around. I just wanted to say that I can see some of my behaviour in what your wife is doing to you now. My destructive behaviour was all alcohol induced I told my x partner and the farther of my daughter that I did not love him anymore in a drunken rage and bang that was it, I lost every thing with those single words. I know your wife is not hurting you on purpose, she is so engulfed with her illness she does not know what she is doing. It is so so sad to hear because she will wake up one day full of remorse and regret, but Sara is right you have to let go of her before it totally destroys you and your daughter. I hope you can find away through this difficult time.
twosand bits....I am aware of those comments....heard em and never believed em....that kind of attack was obviously symptamatic in my eyes and she didnt fool me on those words. I just let them in one ear...out the other....and continued to love her.
Good Morning Sheldon~~
You may have to change your number. You dont need her mother calling you drunk or not drunk. You owe this woman nothing. She is trying to pass the buck for her behavior too. Anything you say right now to any of them will be twisted around. I would also change the locks on the house. This is your life now, take charge of it. The pain you are feeling will ease and there will be a calmness at some point. Living with this insanity is nothing but torture for you and your daughter. Take yourselves out of it. Make some solid concrete plans. I dont normally recommend the divorce part but for you there really is no other way. There has been too much damage done. I would also get yourself checked for STD's. When we are actively drinking we arent very careful in that dept. I am glad to hear you are feeling the need to fight now, for you. Dont fight with her, that is pointless with her where she is at in her addiction. Fight for you and your daughter, you are both so worth it~~~sara
You may have to change your number. You dont need her mother calling you drunk or not drunk. You owe this woman nothing. She is trying to pass the buck for her behavior too. Anything you say right now to any of them will be twisted around. I would also change the locks on the house. This is your life now, take charge of it. The pain you are feeling will ease and there will be a calmness at some point. Living with this insanity is nothing but torture for you and your daughter. Take yourselves out of it. Make some solid concrete plans. I dont normally recommend the divorce part but for you there really is no other way. There has been too much damage done. I would also get yourself checked for STD's. When we are actively drinking we arent very careful in that dept. I am glad to hear you are feeling the need to fight now, for you. Dont fight with her, that is pointless with her where she is at in her addiction. Fight for you and your daughter, you are both so worth it~~~sara
COMMUNITY LEADER
I 150% agree w/the advice my good cyberrecovery and dogfriend Sara has given u!Life is too short for this....she needs to WANT recovery!Hope u find a good counselor and go 2 Al-Anon- ur daughter needs to go w/u as well!
Monday I'm going to the school and insist on counseling for Shelley....I am focusing. My daughter is a product of one of my wifes affairs...and it hurts her deeply, this is an unresolved issue...I tell her it was my direct cousin...so you have some of my genes anyway. We still are not sure who is her dad, but her mom constantly used it against us, in a vicious power struggle that lasted a couple years. When drunk this was one of her weapons. Shelley is going to fight me, although I see a beaughtiful, easy going soul, I know there is fallout in there...lots. She has three months to graduate and she tried to cop out on me.....and I stuck to my guns right through thislast mess. I believe it is going to be more crucial than she knows, a triumph...in the middle of chaos...I plan to rub this in later.
The night her mother slept with the bar guy, I was trying to maintain...I know whats going on...but I dont want to believe it. I was also dealing with a very distraught Shelley, and I was holding her. I had just hung up the phones from my earlier story. Shelley introduced mom to this guy, and didnt know I knew it..funny ...same thing happened to me in my youth with my step dad. I almost felt relief....an old sin purged....you reap what you sow. Anyway , I didnt let on and dint really care, its mute. Shelly kept saying oh she will be allright dad. And I said, "know she wont, I know what she's doing. Shelley went over there and looked....I should not have let her.
She punched her mom in the face....my whole family is happy about this...
my whole family that I have been alienated from for twenty five years.
"Bout time she got that ...my mom said". Shelley was sheilded from this **** by me for years, so it was a shock, she never believed my suspicions and she had had a drink with mom that night...this was new to me, and really pissed me off, which helped. Shelley got booze at grandmas too.
So far, I can count the times shelley drank....but I know I'm in a long battle to save her from her mom, and grandmother., I get her for another year, just me and her. She was so shocked to see me fold, but she doesnt understand...that I have come close to losing mom with this before. (car accident) Twice before, actually. It is time to teach her what has happened.
I plan to keep telling her who god is too....cant hurt....I never got to show her this with mom around.
The night her mother slept with the bar guy, I was trying to maintain...I know whats going on...but I dont want to believe it. I was also dealing with a very distraught Shelley, and I was holding her. I had just hung up the phones from my earlier story. Shelley introduced mom to this guy, and didnt know I knew it..funny ...same thing happened to me in my youth with my step dad. I almost felt relief....an old sin purged....you reap what you sow. Anyway , I didnt let on and dint really care, its mute. Shelly kept saying oh she will be allright dad. And I said, "know she wont, I know what she's doing. Shelley went over there and looked....I should not have let her.
She punched her mom in the face....my whole family is happy about this...
my whole family that I have been alienated from for twenty five years.
"Bout time she got that ...my mom said". Shelley was sheilded from this **** by me for years, so it was a shock, she never believed my suspicions and she had had a drink with mom that night...this was new to me, and really pissed me off, which helped. Shelley got booze at grandmas too.
So far, I can count the times shelley drank....but I know I'm in a long battle to save her from her mom, and grandmother., I get her for another year, just me and her. She was so shocked to see me fold, but she doesnt understand...that I have come close to losing mom with this before. (car accident) Twice before, actually. It is time to teach her what has happened.
I plan to keep telling her who god is too....cant hurt....I never got to show her this with mom around.
COMMUNITY LEADER
WOW! ur wife is such a disturbed creature!it would take detox a LOT of counseling and sobriety for this woman to truly address her pathos......focus on helping ur daughter and urself b4 u ALLOW this woman to further destroy u!
Anyone can be a father but it takes a special man to be a dad. You have proven that here. It is vital that you both get into some type of counseling. There has been years and years of abuse to you both. There is a life out here for both you and your daughter. Dont let your wife and her family take one more day away from you 2. Take a stand and fight for what is rightfully yours and that is to live. Many times all we do is exist in this crazy world. Keep talking with us..
Happy Easter to you and your daughter~~
Happy Easter to you and your daughter~~
well....I was going to keep pouring out the memories...but now this is getting worse.She tried to come back last night. She started out by trying to call with suggesttive tones..."Baby I want you...Baby I need you"
I'm in a tub at moms house with candles (Kind of reminds me of some kind of evil wood nymphj or something). I just carefully tried to explain that I will not do that...her phone went dead after several text attempts...."I love you"......etc. I went back to sleep....dont know where I'm finding this power.
I think it may be a mixture of relief that its the old enablers strength,
being done, and the fatherlike feelings. Anyway....she ended up at the front door....I'm glad my daughter is not here. She fell at the door, and I really don't want the cops all over, due to the restraining order....I'm already frontpage news in town. So I let her in. I made coffee and waited
for her to sober up. I couldn't help but ask why the men...she still denied
all. (she always did). Its sad to me....cause there was a period in our
lives when I built her up and beyond this mode she's in now. Its sad
to see her like this...no sleep, head rolling.....having to desperately try to
go to work in morning. As she sobered up a little...she began to
become more coherent. I explained that she cant come back.
She started to tell me of more drinking my daughter is doing and
telling me what an idiot I am...that she is doing it behind my back...
and I started to get more and more afraid, I don't know if this is another one of her attacks on my daughter...who swears up and down she doesnt
have a drinking problem. Unfortunatly....some of the stuff her mom was
telling me, was adding up. My wife told me that my daughter has had older men get her alcohol...and thats how my wife met the man she flopped down under. I kinda casually stated that if this is true .....I'm bringing cps
or whomever I can in on my daughters life. As far as the mrs is concerned,
I told her this is over...there is so much damage to this family now...
I explained to her that the only option she has, is to detox, treatment, and mental counseling...and I don't know where your going to get the money for this, her answer was, I'll slow down the drinking, and keep working, blah blah blah.
I told her she was still choosing to die...she said, "I dont care". I believe
in her present condition....she really doesn't. All this time I am avoiding looking at those eyes....scared, searching, confused...I know whats behind em. It was 3 am and time for her to go to work.
Summary: I was supposed to call the police and throw her in jail,
but still not sure if forcing her to straighten out is the right thing. It did
work in the past, but this time she is so much worse. I'm glad I didn't
because I think I realize my daughter is becoming just like her, maybe
even believing her own lies. The mrs went to work in bad shape,
they put up with it, because like me....they feel sorry for her.
She also admitted my daughter was getting alcohol at grandma's,
I would love to prosecute grandma for this, that woman is evil incarnate.
Anyway....right now ..I realize there is some manipulation and lies by the
daughter to me. Jeez what a clutz. I am thinking of going to the school right now, and explaining the situation. With three months to graduate,
and a possible runaway, (if confronted by me), I'm not sure what to do.
I'm in a tub at moms house with candles (Kind of reminds me of some kind of evil wood nymphj or something). I just carefully tried to explain that I will not do that...her phone went dead after several text attempts...."I love you"......etc. I went back to sleep....dont know where I'm finding this power.
I think it may be a mixture of relief that its the old enablers strength,
being done, and the fatherlike feelings. Anyway....she ended up at the front door....I'm glad my daughter is not here. She fell at the door, and I really don't want the cops all over, due to the restraining order....I'm already frontpage news in town. So I let her in. I made coffee and waited
for her to sober up. I couldn't help but ask why the men...she still denied
all. (she always did). Its sad to me....cause there was a period in our
lives when I built her up and beyond this mode she's in now. Its sad
to see her like this...no sleep, head rolling.....having to desperately try to
go to work in morning. As she sobered up a little...she began to
become more coherent. I explained that she cant come back.
She started to tell me of more drinking my daughter is doing and
telling me what an idiot I am...that she is doing it behind my back...
and I started to get more and more afraid, I don't know if this is another one of her attacks on my daughter...who swears up and down she doesnt
have a drinking problem. Unfortunatly....some of the stuff her mom was
telling me, was adding up. My wife told me that my daughter has had older men get her alcohol...and thats how my wife met the man she flopped down under. I kinda casually stated that if this is true .....I'm bringing cps
or whomever I can in on my daughters life. As far as the mrs is concerned,
I told her this is over...there is so much damage to this family now...
I explained to her that the only option she has, is to detox, treatment, and mental counseling...and I don't know where your going to get the money for this, her answer was, I'll slow down the drinking, and keep working, blah blah blah.
I told her she was still choosing to die...she said, "I dont care". I believe
in her present condition....she really doesn't. All this time I am avoiding looking at those eyes....scared, searching, confused...I know whats behind em. It was 3 am and time for her to go to work.
Summary: I was supposed to call the police and throw her in jail,
but still not sure if forcing her to straighten out is the right thing. It did
work in the past, but this time she is so much worse. I'm glad I didn't
because I think I realize my daughter is becoming just like her, maybe
even believing her own lies. The mrs went to work in bad shape,
they put up with it, because like me....they feel sorry for her.
She also admitted my daughter was getting alcohol at grandma's,
I would love to prosecute grandma for this, that woman is evil incarnate.
Anyway....right now ..I realize there is some manipulation and lies by the
daughter to me. Jeez what a clutz. I am thinking of going to the school right now, and explaining the situation. With three months to graduate,
and a possible runaway, (if confronted by me), I'm not sure what to do.
I am using this forum for advise, at this point, I am currently financially devasted, (thanks mom), but will recover, I just got back from school and demanded to see vice principal. I am waiting for his call. Any ideas are always welcome you guys
I would prosecute ANYONE who is providing your daughter with alcohol. This will be a tough go right now but you have to try and save your daughter. Let her mother fend for herself and dont protect her either. You owe her nothing. Your daughter will be mad as he!! for awhile but that is okay. If she does run file a runaway report with the law. Make those counseling appts asap. Dont back down. Fight for what is important and that is you and your daughter~~
thanx fer askin dominosarah....you know my mouth'll run. lol.
she started texting the next night too so I had to shut phone off.
At our favorite beach...ouch...I also know she goes there when burning a
fresh bridge with someone...shes like that...if you start to care, or are
to decent...she will burn you. After phone off an hour....I go for bed upstairs
and ****!...shes at the glass door...its after dark...and it spooked my ***.
After 25 years we dont need to talk ...eye to eye...me tooken by surprise,
those big puppy dog eyes ..yeah...shes hurtin.. those ******* eyes just
****** kill me. Without a word I lifted the phone...I saw her nod. What the
****....glad daughter is studying with a friend tonight. I heard that soft cry
as the cops took her away...****....that one kills me too. Always thought
that was real emotion....but its another mind screw.
After daughter ran home, things calmed down, I turned on phone...
message said "I'll go to jail for you baby".
I kept thinking ...maybe she's gonna do it....get help....kids wont have
to see anymore crazy ****. She did it this way in past.
Nope....next day ... today, as I came home for lunch ...she was getting her car and her moms car was right behind her. I already know what her moms angle is, she will let her own daughter die, just so she can have her drinking buddy and caregiver.
So today I'm bummed....but still doing my papers.
Graduation for daughter is looming closer and closer and thats so badass
it keeps me afloat. Gotta sleep for work.
she started texting the next night too so I had to shut phone off.
At our favorite beach...ouch...I also know she goes there when burning a
fresh bridge with someone...shes like that...if you start to care, or are
to decent...she will burn you. After phone off an hour....I go for bed upstairs
and ****!...shes at the glass door...its after dark...and it spooked my ***.
After 25 years we dont need to talk ...eye to eye...me tooken by surprise,
those big puppy dog eyes ..yeah...shes hurtin.. those ******* eyes just
****** kill me. Without a word I lifted the phone...I saw her nod. What the
****....glad daughter is studying with a friend tonight. I heard that soft cry
as the cops took her away...****....that one kills me too. Always thought
that was real emotion....but its another mind screw.
After daughter ran home, things calmed down, I turned on phone...
message said "I'll go to jail for you baby".
I kept thinking ...maybe she's gonna do it....get help....kids wont have
to see anymore crazy ****. She did it this way in past.
Nope....next day ... today, as I came home for lunch ...she was getting her car and her moms car was right behind her. I already know what her moms angle is, she will let her own daughter die, just so she can have her drinking buddy and caregiver.
So today I'm bummed....but still doing my papers.
Graduation for daughter is looming closer and closer and thats so badass
it keeps me afloat. Gotta sleep for work.
You stay strong. She is playing you like a fiddle right now. I would seriously think about changing your phone number....
Focus on your daughters graduation. That is what is important.
Just keep talking to us.....
Focus on your daughters graduation. That is what is important.
Just keep talking to us.....
COMMUNITY LEADER
Playin u like a fiddle?I'd say entire orchestra!Stand ur ground sheldon...i know it hurts and its tough...alcohol is ur wifes addiction...and she is urs.....u need to detox and recover from her!Make ur daughters graduation un4gettable!
Yep it is the whole orchestra! You dont need to live in her addiction any longer. Get that counseling going.
This is my counseling...I cant go snivel at an A.A. meeting....I'm a public employee in a medium town.
I know what I need to do...just gotta keep affirming it....don't know why.
Probably because I kept reaffirming my bent relationship for so long.lol
I know what I need to do...just gotta keep affirming it....don't know why.
Probably because I kept reaffirming my bent relationship for so long.lol
COMMUNITY LEADER
OMG! u just made me chuckle!i'm a very public employee in a small Mayberryish town!Ur x sounds so much like my x when he relapsed......major drama king and loudmouth italian/polish Soprano like character.......so glad i no longer CHOOSE to listen to his loudmouth histrionics!
oh...I'm the drama king, and talker loudmouth...but then, I realize, I was not taught to bottle up pain, most men do, I aint one of em, talking about
this helps a great deal...and helps me focus on the truth, instead of some
hopefull fantasy I may be concocting. I have been called drama queen at
work, but in my defense, I never knew what was waiting for me on the other side of that door when I got home. It was always dramatic.
Its been very peacefull last two weeks, and I actually am realizing I have
some time to do things, house repairs, etc, that I havn't been able to do in
years. I always thought that she would spread her legs if she couldn't control me. I proved that to be true. But had to learn the hard way. A woman like this will say "I love you", look like she means it, bye you
something special, and then go to work and tease a new guy right up to
the point where he's ready to nail her. Yep...thats what I lived with for twenty five years. And this sure beats having to hold someone down in
blackout, while they spit in your face and say terrible, hurtfull things..
sometimes...I listened during these ramblings...cause it was the only way
to find out what she'd been up to. How would you like to be introduced to
a crowd of her friends, and secretly be wondering which ones she'd
slept with. I am still trying to get rid of that impulse I have, never noticed it
till now....when a male is walking towards me, I'm always ready on the
spot to mix it up, I realize now, she had some air about her that always said, "Im available", it didn't matter if she was with me.
this helps a great deal...and helps me focus on the truth, instead of some
hopefull fantasy I may be concocting. I have been called drama queen at
work, but in my defense, I never knew what was waiting for me on the other side of that door when I got home. It was always dramatic.
Its been very peacefull last two weeks, and I actually am realizing I have
some time to do things, house repairs, etc, that I havn't been able to do in
years. I always thought that she would spread her legs if she couldn't control me. I proved that to be true. But had to learn the hard way. A woman like this will say "I love you", look like she means it, bye you
something special, and then go to work and tease a new guy right up to
the point where he's ready to nail her. Yep...thats what I lived with for twenty five years. And this sure beats having to hold someone down in
blackout, while they spit in your face and say terrible, hurtfull things..
sometimes...I listened during these ramblings...cause it was the only way
to find out what she'd been up to. How would you like to be introduced to
a crowd of her friends, and secretly be wondering which ones she'd
slept with. I am still trying to get rid of that impulse I have, never noticed it
till now....when a male is walking towards me, I'm always ready on the
spot to mix it up, I realize now, she had some air about her that always said, "Im available", it didn't matter if she was with me.
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