Thank your Mom for keeping you off the Xanax. You're only 16, and drugs that affect your brain should only be taken at that age if absolutely necessary. What you need more than anything, at least according to what you're saying here, is a therapist. You've been hiding something huge and it needs to be brought out into the light so you can get past it. If that can't happen organically, then a therapist can do it privately and help you learn how to cope with it in a productive way. You're not having an emotional breakdown -- there's really no such thing. You've just bottled up a lot of stuff and its seething in there.