Really Bad Social Phobia

[Please_Help950]

I'm 17 yrs old almost 18 and I have really bad social phobia. I have been trying as hard as I can to talk to people, but every time I begin to say something I get really nervous. I want to get over this!!!! I believe that one of the causes of my social phobia is from being bullied in school.

Please if anyone has any information on how I can be more confident and less nervous when communicating, Please don't hesitate to reply. Any Info is greatly appreciated. Thanks!

[Please_Help950]

Thank you so much for your kindness. It is wonderful to know that there are others in this world that are willing to help. Your concern is greatly appreciated! Thanks again.

Take care and Best Wishes,

"Please_Help950"

[marymagdeline]

Your welcome.  I want to correct something I said.  I can't check this site every day.  I only come here on Saturday's.  But each Saturday I'll check to see if you have any furthur questions.  In the meantime, I'll be praying for you.  I promise.  And you might consider getting that book.

Good luck :)

Gina

[Please_Help950]

Thank you for your response, it is greatly apprieicated.

I'll give those tips a try.

Have a great evening and God Bless you too!

"Please_Help950"

[marymagdeline]

Oh how I feel for you.  I am a nutritionist.  I'm in my 40's.  But I had social phobia when I was your age too.  I'm so very sorry that you were bullied.  First, I want to say something about that that MIGHT help you.  People who feel good about themselves want nothing more than to make other people feel good about themselves.  And people who do not feel good about themselves do not want others to feel good about themselves.  There is a saying that goes, "People try to make themselves taller by chopping off the heads of other people."  Nothing those bullies said had ANYTHING to do with you.  They felt bad about themselves, and making you feel inferior to them made them feel better.  I'll bet you any money that those kids who picked on you didn't come from homes where they were being told how special they were and how loved they were.  Anyway, about this social phobia.  There is a great book called, "How To Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie.  It's a classic.  And it teaches you how to communicate.  And the info in it is right on.  One thing it says is that people like people who smile a lot.  Also, try making eye contact with people when you talk to them.  This makes you look confident.  And remember, everyone loves to talk about themselves.  So if your at a loss as to what to say to strike up a conversation, ask the person something about themselves.  Anything.  Like, "That's a cool shirt, where did you get it?"  And when they say where, you can say, "Do you shop there a lot?"  Keep them answering questions.  People LOVE to talk about themselves.  And inject something of yourself or your opinion here and there so your not JUST asking them questions.  Like, "Yeah, I like that store too."  Rmemeber sweet heart, every single, solitary person in the entire world is insecure.  Not just you.  Especially in our teens.  Oh, I know, your thinking, "But so and so isn't.  I can tell."  Trust me, they are!  So, try these tips.  And if it's really bad, think about talking to your dr about getting on an antidepressant.  I'm on one.  If you need it, you need it.  But I have a feeling that you are going through what most teens go through. I promise to check back here every day to see if you have any more questions.  Good luck and God bless you :)