Acute anxity

[confused2103]

Hi everyone .. in my last post that was 8 months back  somehow managed to control my anxity and treid to be back to my previous self.
Since one month I am again getting those panic attacks. this time its not originating from hay where. I ll be honest here, since a couple of months my husband is facing some problem regarding his job and yells and shouts at home whenever he has some office related problems. He dose this ever since we r married about 7yrs but everytime he did that i was cool. Its like I was a punching bag which he would shout and yell upon when ever he has a problem.
These days I am unable to take this whenever he starts shouting I run away I get breathless and choking and tell him to solve his own probs on which he gets more voilent.
He dosent have any friends or anyone to comfort him anyone to tell him to take it easy and to look at brighter side of life. He's ever so depressed and violent when things are not according to what he wants. And when everything is fine he ll happily spend time with his laptop.

He dosent want to go out, or play with our 3yr old kid, or help him with his daily chores. According to him, his work is to earn for family. thatz all, and he never leaves a chance to insult me calling me beggar n leach coz I m unable to earn these days coz I have nowhere to leave my 3yr old, and i cant leave him in the house all alone with a maid.

I tried talking about his prob with his dad, cause I dont find this normal, in his fit of hyper anger, he can harm any one even my kid, if he dosent take precaution and see a psychiatrist it ll b too late. but his Dad seems to know more than a psychiatrist he feels his son has a right to "discuss his probs" with his wife and his wife's duty is to support him. He doesn't need any medical help and is absolutely all right.

All these really affect me and i question myself .... dont i have any self esteem dont i have my feelings, when i suffered where was my husband? did he comfort me? no... all these years i handled my own problems myself writing in forums talking to people etc helped me.. Just because I am unable to earn my living i have to stay like a servant? ... i get extreme depressed thinking all these and feel my self detached from the world. I cannot communicate with any of my married friends coz i feel out of words.

am only surviving for my kid I laugh I make merry jus for him. otherwise I am shattered I dont have anyplace to go as my parents r ailing  and in other city. I cant share this with anyone coz no one finds a prob in our lives, my husband is well read, and belongs to 'good family'. I cant tell how he uses foul language and verbally abuses me every time he's angry (which happens almost every 2 days on average) and anything and everything puts him off.

can anyone suggest how to deal with hyper anger? how to make a person realize that visiting a psychiatrist dosen't mean u r insane? is there any medication for hyper anger which is safe without any side effects?

[confused2103]

Thank you so much for being concerned. I have tried to talk it out with him when he's in good mood, by being hyper or staying glued to his laptop pretending everything is normal wont help, he has to learn to make himself happy to get satisfaction in life. I hv tried telling him to see a counselor once, talk to him, but he feels that he's absolutely alright and he dosent need to see anyone. His Dad stays in diffrent city and feels he needs someone to listen too, and he too wont listen that his son needs some medication to get rid of his anxiety.... I listen to him and have talked to him for hours sometime back, I can understand what he's going through regarding his job, but I cant change his life, I cant pump happiness into his veins.

[freedom371]

Im sorry for what you are going through. Hes going to have to realize he needs help , see a doctor and more than likely get on some meds. Its not fair for you and your child to have to live like that...and it can throw you into a severe depression..and be detrimental in alot of ways. Try talking to him when hes calm, if thats possible. Maybe you can seek the help of other people he trusts and they can help you talk to him. Does his dad realize how badly hes treating you?