Can anyone relate?

[Samantha555]

Hello, I'm a 22 year old female and I'm tired of feeling like this. I'm terrified of the dark and I never want to be alone. I hate going to public places alone. My head is always going a million miles an hour. I put these crazy thoughts in my head and freak myself out. Sometimes I think so much I forget whether some of it was real or not. I'm always thinking about something then I forget important things I need to remember. But if I have someone there with me there is someone to talk to, someone to kill time with. I'm really afraid of drowning and that really limits things because when I fall into a large body of water I panic and nearly kill myself. Its pretty embarrassing. My close friend of years said she had never seen my face look the way it did during one of my episodes. I'm really shy so I don't really enjoy meeting people. I can't handle intense situations. Everything hurts my feelings. I am always fidgeting. I chew my nails until they hurt. I pick my face and cause it to scar. I chew on my tongue without realizing it. My palms are always sweaty and when I'm stressed I have horrible night sweats. I wake up soaked and so does my boyfriend. When my boyfriend is at work I don't want to do anything. I wait around for him to get off. Sometimes I have errands to run and I will go to do them and just drive around the parking lot because I don't have the courage to go in. I won't even make myself food sometimes. I will just sit there. When I get really upset i break out in hives and hyperventilate. My close friend is about to move to another state. I'm not really sure how I'm going to take it.  I just want to live normally and relaxed. I'm exhausted.

[lowT]

Hi Ladies, I don't know if either of you have been to see a psychologist or not?
I do however know that by what you are describing in your posts that you may benefit from an exposure based therapy where you face the things that make you feel so nervous and upset.
For example Samantha when you say you have errands to run and you just drive around the car park instead of going in, you could try doing your errands with your boyfriend or someone else who you feel safe with with you, start by doing your errands with that friend, when you feel comfotrable doing this then try doing your errands with your friend but your friend stands at the doorway of the shop and you go in, when you feel comfortable doing this try doing your errands while your friend waits in the car for you.
I know your probably thinking this sounds to simple to work and you may even be thinking it wont work but given time it will help, you need to take baby steps, a little at a time you may do this for a week and feel it has not helped but it is a gradual adjustment and what you thought was not helping after a week may after a few weeks be making life easier.
During the days when your on your own try to get a friend or family member to go walking with or go to the park or better yet  a friend who you can go to the gym with, exercise relieves stress, use the same method that i mentioned above so that you can maybe after a while exercise at the park or the gym on your own.
You need to take the first step, then keep moving , your confidence will slowly build up and the more confidence you have the happier you will be, you will hopefully get to a stage that your boyfriend or husband do not have to be there to make you feel safe and they become the icing on the cake rather than the cake itself.
Good luck to both of you.

[mama23babies]

I know exactly how you feel. I haven't been anywhere alone since June. I won't stay alone and when I have too I just want to lay in bed until my husband comes home. He has lost his job because of my situation. I was calling him everyday to take me to the ER because I would panic so much when he left and I really felt like something was wrong.  I have 3 children under 6 so you talk about feeling awful. I am a 26 year old woman with 3 kids that depend on me and I can't function normally unless someone is around. I hate it. I am supposed to be the adult and take care of my children and run errands and go to doctors appoinments and I can't unless my husband is with me.It is verry discouraging. Although my fear of being alone is awful I have stayed alone a few times for 2 or 3 hours in the last couple of months and managed ok but then I have bad days that I just want to stay in bed and do nothing. I want so much to have my life back and for us to be a normal family but just don't know how to do it. Although I don't have any advice for you I just wanted to let you know that you are not the only  one going through this. I hope you feel better.