Not sure this is the anxiety part. You say you generally have anxiety, does that mean about lots of things in life or is it just or mostly about HIV? But the rest you've pretty much nailed for yourself -- you're feeling guilty I guess because you cheated? Guilt is a learning tool for us incredibly stupid and fallible humans. We do lots of stupid and impulsive stuff, and guilt is there to teach us how to get along with others. But too much guilt held onto for too long stops being a learning tool and becomes depression eventually. Shame is a similar feeling, very much akin to guilt but often based on norms set for us by others we feel compelled to follow or set by us and we feel compelled to follow. Again, it's a learning tool, but held onto too long can lead to a loss of confidence in ourselves. So you want to learn the lesson that is there for you about how you want to live your life but then you have to let it go or you'll suffer the kind of pain you're suffering now and also become less attractive for others to be around, including your long-term partner. Not really sure where your family comes into it, you didn't cheat on them, but if you mean to say you feel pressure from your family to conform to certain values, it's up to you when you become an adult to decide what norms make sense for you and which don't, and how not to hurt others or yourself. Life's hard, we all make mistakes, but learn from it and move on. If you can't, and it lasts and lasts, you've moved into a different problem and it might be time to talk to a professional therapist so you can work out what in your nature impels you to hang onto negative feelings and how you can work to stop doing that to yourself. It's hard being human. Peace.