i feel like giving up

[John23a]

i have been having extreme derealization and depersonalization for the past 8 months. I'm just giving up on everything. I have a feeling that this will never go away. I feel like i have to live with this forever and it just bothers me so much thinking i can't ever enjoy my life again. It even got worse from last night i dont even know why. I spent half of the day today in bed because the only way im not thinking about my DP/DR is when im sleeping. I read so many stories today on different Forums about people having for 12-13 years and some people forever its just making me lose all my hope. I have been living with this for 8-9 months now and i never had a normal moment in the past 9 months. I tried meditating, exercising, eating healthy, vitamins nothing helps. Until yesterday at least i felt okay when i was at home but from last night that i woke up in sweat and thinking my head has gone blank and forced myself back to sleep, i have felt much worse than before and now even looking at things around my room freaks me out..like as soon as i blink and move my head and look at stuff it feels like im looking at pictures or a painting..i think i will never go back to normal..i dont know how many more months, years i can go on with this thing..im really giving up...

i also tend to worry about my health all the time and search my symptoms on the web. i think i have MS, Stomach Cancer, and other problems and i just cant stop worrying. I have done a full blood test and a CT scan from the head and they were normal. I just have constant derealization and depersonalization, muscle twitches, i feel tired all the time, i get stomach pain, my brain feels foggy and i feel weird i dont know how to explain it...and some days i wake up with this pain right where my heart is..its like a different kind of pain..more like a dull, gnawing pain..

[erasmus2002]

This is a sympathetic post, but it won't seem like it.

You are suffering so badly because you are focusing too much on yourself and your own world (of acknowledged pain). You have started on a self-perpetuating cycle of introspection and micro-analysis of your own situation. If you do not break from this an obliging, but under-educated, MD will start you on a pharmacological roller-coaster that will not help you at all.

In your local town or city there will be a hospital or clinic that has the sad but noble task of treating children & young people with terminal cancers. The staff of this hospital or clinic will be most grateful of any effort you can make to ease the suffering of these kids. This might be fundraising, providing support and assistance to families, even voluntary nursing-care if you attain the qualifications. Every second you would spend doing this would be of great significance.

If you put your effort into this, and do it sincerely, then your current issues will go away. De-personalisation can only be treated by re-connecting with society, and no prescription is necessary.

So - I am sympathetic even if this seems like tough-love. Get out there and do some real good - things might not seem so bad then.

[abby10]

You are not alone with this. It's aweful I know. To know that others go through it might make you feel a little better. You said that you're getting muscle twitches...I was just curious, what meds are you on or have you been on. Sometimes the muscle twitches come from meds. I'm not a doctor, I was just asking.

Talking to others is an excellent therapy for the dp and dr. I had it pretty bad and now a little bit. I just go along with it and put one foot in front of the other. But when it's really bad--I know it sux, nothing seems to make any sense--your on the inside looking out.

Some people say that the SSRIs make it worse for them. Are you taking any Benadryl, some people think that makes it worse also.

Does it improve at all sometimes, and if it does what situation are you in when it improves. Sometimes ya just have to stick it out. Don't think about other people and how long it has lasted for them. Everybody is very different and you need to believe that you will get better sooner than later, because you just might!

The worrying is something that you are creating your self and you can manage it. Do you have any type of therapist who can help you 'learn' how not to worry. When you worry you are making your self sick physically and mentally. It's a lot of work with no rewards.

I'm a big fan of laughter. Try not to watch the news and other things that are so negative. I know it's hard to do, because the TV is so negative. Even cartoons are violent.

Exercise the best you can, you don't realize it, but it is making a big difference in your over all mental and physical health.

Talk to others that understand and not to those that don't.

PM me if you what to talk.

Hugs,

abby