Confusion,Frusteration,Depression

[format26]

Hi all, im a 19 year old male.Im very confused if i have adhd or some other mental disorder because i havent been the same for the past year.I always question myself in my own mind on things that I think about,I always question myself if the way im thinkinking is normal or should i not be thinking to myself right now.I also always get anxiety now when im around a big group of people or driving around.I used to be so confident, smart talking and acting.And in the past year I started to stuttar every 3 words out of my mouth because of so much **** going on through my head.Im just so confused.Lets just say I kinda forgot how to think like a normal being.I became a very insecure just all out weird guy.Some people might think Im even a little slow just the way I am.My mind made a 360 degree turn about 1 year ago and since then just thought and felt very depreessed, down, and negatively about myself.This might sound stupid but my question is how can u think like a normal human being.Is it normal to think while driving around?Is it normal to talk to yourself all the time in your head?I sometimes have symptons of off balance walking, burning of the eyes where i have to forcefuly blink, twitching, sweating.I dont know how to be normal around my friends or family anymore because i get confused in my mind and start thinking stupid stuff and sometimes doing weird actions.I am recovering litlle by little though.After a year of depression you can get used to it or just forget about those those stupid things and thoughts.But still I cant get it off my mind everyday for the past year.I used to be so happy.I know its nothing like cancer or anything because ive gotten alot of tests in the past year because of me being so paranoid of diseases, and sicknesses, and Im perfectly healthy.Plz help me, I just need some knots untied in my head.Im not lookin towards medication for diagnosis.And yes I will see a therapist soon.Thank You!

[Ariom63]

Whether or not your symptoms are not as "bad" as Donnie, doesn't mean it isn't caused by anxiety. Some anxiety patients suffer some symptoms and others suffer something totally different.    But it is good to know you are going to see a therapist..could be a mix of depression  and anxiety. The always thinking in your head....anxiety.  Could also be other things..but the therapist will find out for sure after evaluating you.

Wishing you the best of luck.  There is help out there.

[Aleksandar]

dude i just wanted to ask do u get those thoughts of real things ? cause i am getting some strange thoughts of unreal things like what is life, what is time(present/past), selective memory and so on, and i know that i cant answer them but they keep spinning in my head all the time and it gives me the creeps and i think i am going nuts:/. just wanted to know that.

[DonnieB1984]

yeah man no problem, i know your symptoms arent near as bad but i was just saying that it started out when i was about your age basically with the same symptoms you describe (the anxiety) meds are the last thing you want i just wanted to tell you what i went through and how the symptoms developed as it progressed, just so you know what to look for.. by no means did i think you need to be on medication at this point, but if it seems to worsen, dont wait for it to get as bad as mine got. if i had caught mine earlier i wouldnt have had to go through 6 diff. types of meds before i found a good one, and i wouldnt have gone to the ER twice... not trying to scare you at all im just saying if you think something is wrong get it checked up as early as possible. better to be safe than sorry.. best of luck to you man.
peace

[format26]

Hey bro..thx for that post.But reading it, it seems ur symptons were much more severe then the symptons I am having.I dont have anxiety attacks.I just start twitching, thinking.I never really ended up forgetting stuff that quickly or have the obsseive compulsive behaviour like you did.Like i said I dont want to be put on any meds, I think my symptons right now arent that severe to be put on meds and can be helped with some therapy.And you are right about the whole doctor relationship thing.My doctor suks big ****!He thinks nutin can be wrong with me because I am so young and he thinks all young people go through a phase and are just stupid.But switching doctors is a really hard process.But thank you for that info and i will certainly put it in mind if meds are mandatory in my daily life.PEACE!

[DonnieB1984]

Hey man, let me start by telling you I know exactly (well maybe not exactly, but damn close to is) what you are going through. My symptoms (for the anxiety) all started when I was about 22-23 (a little later than you) and I'm now just turning 25. I was diagnosed with ADD when I was 13. The thing is you could have been ADD or ADHD (more than likely ADD because it is harder to diagnose) for years now and not known it. I am not sure how well you do in school or how often you visit the doctor, but that has a WHOLE lot to do with wether or not you would have picked up on the ADD/ADHD. I was lucky enough to have parents that were up my *** 24/7 about school, and when my grades began to slip a bit I was sent to a specialist who quickly confirmed ADD. Onto the anxiety. I've been to the RE twice due to panic, or anxiety attacks. I was diagnosed with an acute anxiety disorder when I was 23, after the second ER visit. The thing is before that, when I was about 20-21, I started feeling weird all of the time. I was experiencing the same sort of problems you described in your post. When I was in high-school I was a popular, charismatic, fun loving, athletic person. About the same time I started my first year of college I began to gain weight, sleep a lot, feel really weird around other people. get slight dizzy spells, profuse sweating and uncontrollable twitches such as blinking or facial movements. I was taken off of my Adderall because they thought that could be the problem. That made it worse. I was always second guessing myself, I had no interest in classes or, for that matter, listening to mostly anything anyone else had to say. I became obsessive compulsive, I'd find myself doing things like flushing the toilet, then 45 seconds later going back to make sure I flushed it because I couldn't remember. I'd lose my keys literally 10 seconds after setting them down, and find myself talking to myself while looking for them, as well as many other times throughout the day. I'd spend hours arguing with myself about mundane things in my own head. It got so bad I would skip class because I didn't want to be around other people. Then I switched doctors. The doctor I went to IMMEDIATELY not only put me back on Adderall  but raised the dose from 20 mg to 30 mg twice daily. He then began addressing my anxiety. He began by trying a drug called busiprone because it is used sometimes for ADHD and interacts well with Adderall. It was about that time I had my first anxiety attack. I was driving and thought I was having a heart attack. My chest was caving in, I couldn't breath, I was hyperventilating, I had tingling and eventually couldn't move my fingers and jaw. I had to have a lady at CVS call 911. I got to the hospital with a pulse of 237 BPM and BP of 200-210/ 95ish, The doctor gave my 5 mg of Ativan and instructed me to control my breathing into a mask. It took about 2 hours, but finally I calmed down and I was fine. My point is, afterwards I was put on a med called Lexapro as well as Adderall, I have emergency Xanax for if I happen to have an attack and it has made a world of difference. I think the symptoms you are going through are mainly due to an anxiety disorder, and possibly made even worse by ADD/ADHD, because they sound almost identical to the process I went through before my diagnosis. My advise would ABSOLUTELY be to find yourself a physician whom you trust and get along with (someone you can talk to and be totally honest with) and just sit down and explain, in EXTREME detail exactly how you feel, because depending on the symptoms of the anxiety and the ADD or ADHD there are a wide variety of medication combinations that could be the correct one for you. I used to hate going to the doctor but my current one pretty much saved my life; go get yourself some help and I promise you'll thank yourself in the end.