Can anyone Relate?

[edgyboy]

Well I have an appointment with a therapist this afternoon. This is a good thing. However, yesterday afternoon I started stressing about this and the anxiety level hit record highs. I fell to sleep in my livingroom last night and when I woke up, I had anxiety or panic hit.

I felt paralyzed at first then quickly calmed down and went to bed. I wasnt in bed long before it hit me again. I felt trapped and scared out of my wits. When I got up this morning, I decided to call off from work and just go to the therapist from home (convienent, right down the street).

Not surprisingly, my surroundings now look strange (derealization) and I am basically afraid to go outside, eventhough I will. I know all about anxiety and have been through lesser levels of this in the past but this episode is hitting me hard. its like I have more fears and symptoms than in the past.

I am really beginning to think that my father's death has finally hit me full blast and that I now realize my own mortality. I remember posting something on facebook just before this anxiety hit. Joe Paterno just passed away.
My post read "The future I feared when I was young has finally arrived". I was referring to my father's generation dying off.

I can deal with death and what life has to offer but anxiety makes it almost impossible to do. With me luck at the appointment. He might want to put me away and throw away the key.

[RubyWitch]

While your post makes some interesting observations that could lead to lively debate, you really aren't asking a question. If you just want to vent, ponder or share your thoughts, it's best to start a journal. Many of us have limited time to spend on MH and to read a fairly long post that isn't asking a specific questions, that takes time away from somebody who may be desperate for an answer now.
I mean no offense by this...........just sayin'
Thanks
Greenlydia

[kka264]

Wow...sounds like something I have been experiencing a bit lately.  Mine is not so severe--just the thoughts are a bit heavy to deal with sometimes.  Like thinking about life and how unsure it is.  It can be a lot to swallow sometimes.  Then the DR sets in and I have to just keep moving.  I tried watching Eat Pray Love just now--and when the guy was telling her about how long her life would be--I began looking at my palm the same way and wondering what mine says.  It just seems silly after everything but it is a fear and a worrying thought that occurs.

I hope everything goes well with you at the appointment--they won't lock you up--but trust me--you can feel that way sometimes.