Friends annoyed at me?

[isabelle20]

has anyone had this happen? My friends keep inviting me out etc and all i do is make a load of excuses or agree to come and then cancel last minute because im feeling so rubbish. My friends think im ignoring them/being a bad friend  they dont know about my anxiety/panic..i had anxiety last yr but still able to go out etc but now its got worse. I don't talk about my anxiety to anyone really but yeah..it ***** that this is happening.

[isabelle20]

Wow, thanks for all the help!!! All very very useful advice! Thanks again =) It's nice having people you can relate to helping out and i will take everything into consideration and talk about my anxiety with people.

[DJ873]

interesting, i just talked with my therapist about this exact topic today! here is what he advised.
Speak your truth, I know you don't want to let people know but it creates more anxiety to keep the secret. Your truth might be, I really want to go but I just don't think I am able to do that tonight, the level of explanation you give is your choice. From I am having a bad day, to I have anxiety disorder and it is effecting me today. I won't be going out.

Say what you need, I am having anxiety but I will be fine and I don't want you to worry. But I do really hope you ask again and understand that I am not ignoring you.

Stay in the place of the adult not the child.

To say maybe or I will go or whatever when you know you won't, adds pressure. Only commit to those things I know I can fulfill
.
Give positive feedback, hey thanks for inviting me and not making me feel worse by making me feel bad about it. Its great to have your support and understanding.

Follow up with asking something like, so yesterday I told you I had this issue with anxiety, are you ok with what you know, do you have any questions?

in summary; Tell, Tell what you need, tell what you don't need, drop the topic.
I have a friend who says I never go so she has quit asking. I need to have this truth talk with her and i plan to use the stuff i learned today. A little different but sort of on the same lines I did practice today.

I did this with a friend today who always comments on things like, you look stressed today, you look sad today, you look pretty today, always commenting on how i look. This makes me ultra anxious and uncomfortable so I finally told her, Hey, I need to tell you something, commenting on my appearance makes me very uncomfortable and turns my focus to me, which gives me issues with anxiety.  oh my god, do i look bad, am i ill, etc. I would appreciate it if you would take my appearance off your radar.I'm glad you care but please lets talk about other things :) It was much easier than I thought! people are nice and more understanding than we often give them credit for.

[Matthew1986]

almost certainly!

I've found myself not socializing as much as i used too, missing appointments because i don't want to leave the house, avoiding confrontations with people or asking questions and even avoiding certain foods and drink because i'm worrying i'll have another vertigo or panic outbreak/attack, and some of my friends arent aware i have this and have asked many times am i alright with them?

It can be quite common in most cases of anxiety or depression, your not alone there!

[shyboy18]

Im  like you I have anxiety all day. I dont really go out alot because of anxiety. I also dont go to school since I have agorofobia. Im going to a psychitrist today I think you should do the same or go to a psycologist.  Your alone in this.

[mammo]

It time to seek help for your anxiety, it's affecting your day-to-day life.  You can always talk to us, but you need professional help in the form of therapy and/or medication.  You can have the happy and fulfilling life you deserve and want, you just need to ask for the needed help.  Know you're not alone in this, and we all understand and care.  But you have to look at this as any other medical condition for which you would need to see a doctor.  It won't get better on it's on and as you're seeing now, it just gets worse.  Please seek help so you can get your life back.  We're always here to help you in any way we can, even if you just need to talk or vent.  Get going and take care!