I need support/love

[patient49]

ok, so I think I need support. I don't even know how to word this, so I will just try to speak from my heart for once. I know I don't have the support I need from anyone I know in real life, and this I believe is probably my main problem, but actually, I believe that life is fair and that it's up to me to work things out! But I feel kindof distant from my family and I don't really have any friends because I kind of distanced myself from people in general because I don't think they could really understand me and I have been going through a really hard time in the last few years. Well throughout mylife at times I have had severe anxiety reactions and got better, and this time it was from traveling around the world on a semester at sea, and I came home with culture shock and concerns about myself and my culture/family. It didn't help to become infatuated with a Chinese girl and feel like me or my family wasn't good enough for her. See, in China, when two people get together it is seen as the two families getting together. Anyway I am actually over thinking that her culture is better than mine, and I now believe that anyone can be happy and good no matter what their circumstance is, so i am optimistic now and I have been doing alright! But i now need support. Last night I had my anxiety ( a deep concern) about something and when I get this concerned I start worrying and cant relax and it has interfered with my sleep and just has made me concerned. I am here at this leather shop and am greeting customers and just made a belt but I am still feeling alone and unloved and still uneasy. I was shaking a little making this belt with the customer watching. it came out good though :)  But anyway, I think I know by now that it's not so much wisdom that I am looking for (maybe) or even advice, but more so I just feel like I need love! I need a close girlfriend by now and though I interact VERY well usually with nice young woman, I am still alone at night and I have no one to share my fears with and feel safe :(  Alright, sorry for this long message, but if you can relate and would like to send me some support I would REALLY appreciate it. And I hope yu are doing alright, and thanks for reading. i am just alone and need love! I don't mean to complain, I just wish I had someone who could understand me who I could spend time with. Thanks, and love, Ash   Yeh, so I'm still feeling concerned right now :'(

[patient49]

Hey sha!  Thank you!!  Thanks so much for responding and I would love to talk with you if you want! If we can relate we can share our feelings and not feel so alone! I wonder how many people are feeling this way in my home town area so that I had someone to spend time with for support!  But thank you so much for responding it really helps me, and please write me if you want and we can talk for support and all! :)  I'm still feeling concerned and wasn't expecting to feel this vulnerable and worried. But I'm sure there is a reason! Thank you again and your words mean so much!!  Love, Ash  oh, and by the way, I have a positive fate with numbers 4 and 9.. not to be superstitious or anything because I am kindaf waiting for the day when those numbers don't mean so much. :)  Thnk you! :) it really helps! talk with you soon I hope, message me anytime!! Love, ash

[sha490]

i really feel for you and can relate to what you are saying