I'm over this anxiety...and I need help!

[abi2001]

My anxiety/panic attacks started when I was 21, only months after I started taking oral contraceptives (when my attacks started, I stopped the BC pills, convinced they were the culprit, and never took any again). Every since, I've been through tests and exams: a halter monitor in 2006, multiple blood draws, ECG/EKG a few times, and just a few months ago I had such terrible chest pains that I called 911 and was taken by ambulance to the hospital (where they did a chest X-ray, took blood, and had me on another ECG/EKG machine--all of which showed nothing). To this day, I am told that I am fine. Since I am only 33, have little family medical-history concerns, and am fit (BMI of less than 22), the doctors keep telling me it's just stress and all in my head and that I have no need for concern.

In addition to my anxiety/panic attacks, I can feel my heart skip beats sometimes. When that happens, I then feel the need to cough (that seems to be the only way to get it back into rhythm, so it seems), get somewhat light-headed or dizzy and a little fatigued, and sometimes get a wave of nausea. It doesn't happen every day, and when it does happen it'll occur 1-3 times in a few minutes and then usually doesn't happen again that day (and if it does happen again, it's hours later). So I can't say I get them regularly. They also seem to happen mostly after I'm trying to relax or wind down; they just occur out of the blue.

Does this really sound like "nothing to worry about?" In your experiences, opinions, and/or expertise, is this "normal" and anxiety-related and harmless?

I am a stay-at-home homeschooling mom (yes, my days are full of stress). I also run a website. Our boys just turned 5 and 3 (well, he'll turn 3 tomorrow). I am also homeschooling. My husband is nothing short of a saint and is very supportive of me/us and works very hard. I do not get much downtime (maybe 5 hours per week, if I'm lucky). We just got back yesterday from a week-long vacation as well, and even that didn't seem to help me any. I just can't find a way to relax and de-stress.

I am not on any meds; I do take a multi-vitamin, a multi-mineral, DHA/EPA, B-complex, a stress supplement with St. John's, CoQ10, and 5-HTP. I do not have/cannot find time to exercise, meditate, or get "me" time. I am very active with our boys (we play outside, go for walks, go to the zoo, etcetera, and do tons of stuff as a family, like camping).

I don't know... I just can't seem to convince myself that I'm okay. My husband isn't concerned because of all the tests I've been through over the years (we've been together years before this all started). However, because of how uncomfortable and unsettling the heartbeat skips and the anxiety/panic attack symptoms are, I just can't shake the feeling something is really wrong and just hasn't been caught. As though my heart/cardiovascular system is gradually deteriorating or failing...and at any moment I'll drop dead.

I listen to my body all the time. From the moment I get up, I'm well aware of this discomfort, that pain, and the thumping of my heart. I constantly check my pulse, and I'm afraid to drive or go anywhere because of all this. Is it possible to pay too much attention to your body?

I've tried at-home CBT, but it just didn't help. All the doctors want to do it prescribe meds, but I am super-sensitive to medication and won't take them (if there's a side effect, I tend to get it...). All the reading and research that I do and have done make sense but just can't sink in or convince me.

I have no family nearby and no friends in the area of speak of (they all relocated in the last two years for work). Aside from my husband, I have nobody to turn to or will listen or understand, and I just don't know what to do anymore.

Please, any advice or input that you can give would be greatly appreciated. I thought a vacation would help; instead, I seemed to have more attacks than usual.

From the bottom of my beat-skipping heart--thank you in advance!

[abi2001]

I like your way of thinking: if the meds help, then there's obviously nothing else wrong. That's a good way to look at it.

It is difficult to have discussions on forums via cell phones. LOL

Thank you again for replying. It's nice to have others to "talk" to about this, who can relate in some way. My husband is very supportive and understanding, but he just can't relate...

[Crich6924]

I've also had to eliminate caffeine from my diet its been over a year since I've had any caffeine.

I haven't drank any alcohol in quite some time and what I can tell you us that while I was not on meds I just found something that could/would capture my mind for awhile whether it be a movie,TV show, or video game.

I'd take a break for 30mins of my day no matter what was going on and just do that, I've also heard of low potassium being related to anxiety via my father who convinced me to eat bananas everyday.

I'm sorry to hear that you're unable to take medication my goal is to uaectge medication only as an assistant to help me better manage my anxiety without it.

If I know im fine while in medication then I assume it'd be safe to say I should be able convince myself. That I'm fine even when not on it.

Sorry for my sloppy writing as I'm on my phone, but I really hope you're able to get a handle on things... I know its really started controlling my life to the point I've changed eating habits,drinking habbits,recreational habits, sleeping patterns, I don't drive when tired or at night due to it, I don't like fans or a/c being pointed at me for the fear of it causing panic

Basically I'm just trying to say while I don't have the exact experience with things I can easily understand or relate to your frustration and wanting to regain control of your life

[abi2001]

Thank you for your feedback. That's one thing that really bugs me: I am constantly busy and experience daily stress (to the point it's "normal" for me), but I take it in stride and don't let it get to me. However, these attacks happen anyway and for no (apparent) reason. I consider myself to be a positive person and don't let things get the better of me, yet they happen anyway.

I've even eliminated caffeine from my diet (I love coffee and tea, but now I drink both decaffeinated or caffeine-free) and limit alcohol. Most of what we eat is organic and/or all-natural and preservative-free. We don't do boxed meals and we avoid artificial flavors, colors, and sweeteners.

So I just can't grasp why I still have this issue. As of yesterday I increased my potassium and magnesium to 125% of RDA because I've read that could help.

My GYN has suggested I not take prescription meds, especially since 3 weeks ago we discovered I have high-risk HPV (no telling what affect meds could have on that and those cells).

I really appreciate your feedback. I not only want to avoid meds, but I've been advised it'd be best if I avoid them.

I hope you beat this as well. It *****, especially being so young. When mine started I was a newly-wed, and then a year later I went back to college for my BA degree; when that was done, we moved across state (away from family and familiarity) and then started a family the next year. So stress, change, and challenges are nothing new for me. This anxiety just seems to run me and my life now...