I've been suffering quietly for a while, any suggestions?

[fishandgrits]

i thought about symptoms that cross over. how can you differenciate schitzophrenia and OCD, if the "voices" telling you to do something is a compulsion. im confused because before i had obsessions but they included positive compulsions that would relieve the stress. like believing i have a social anxiety disorder and then the "compulsion" being actually trying to cure my anxiety disorder. over these last seven months my mental processes have seemed the whackest. my doctor told me its depersonalization that leads me to montioring my own thought processes, she wasnt listening to me, that pissed me off. over time it got worse, i stopped trying to be sane whille taking tests and just failed them. i know its partly the derealization but the amount of time that i've had it makes the information permanently strange and ive been watching as my personality changes. i dont think people hate me or think badly of me, i just hate myself all the time, which is different than before. i act in certain ways to calculate the outcome and try to keep everything imaginably "controlled". i think what i mean is to try and keep my mental processes safe. sometimes i hear my thoughts and they dont sound like mine, which makes everything worse. unlike if i were to have schitzophrenia, i dont hear voices of other people, but i do hear or think conversations obsessively, i also compare and contrast people within my mental process. yeah i think im having audible thoughts. i also have been thinking im borderline, but idk if thats my hypochondria or if its real.

[fishandgrits]

Thankyou
I guess I am worrying about being a schitzophrenic because I feel like one lol. I haven't done too much worrying about it though, just a suggestion to myself. I'm freaking out every two seconds about my mind and the depersonalization makes it almost a subconscious occurrence. My main concern is "I'm turning into a *******" which is true, so then i rely on something greater to blame for it, in my opinion. I'm not on any medication, I have to see a psychologist sometime soon though..
I'm thinking about getting an animal, I'll keep you posted :)

[cnote]

Doesnt sound like you are schizophrenic. Most schizo's don't know they are schizo at all. Someone notices they are, and most of them don't realize they have a problem.

What sounds like you are doing is having "mind chatter" which is common in anxiety. I get it too... like little conversations in my head, or scenerios being played out. We all do this.

While typing this message at the moment, (and im not having anxiety at the moment) I'm hearing my own voice in my head saying each word I'm typing. lol. This is weird. lol. But I wouldnt have noticed that unless I really FOCUSED and obsessed about it.

But we all do this to an extent.

Now you say you are a hypochondriac? Then you are probably worrying about becoming a schizo, which is causing anxiety which is causing you to focus and obsess on your thoughts and your "mind chatter". I do not believe you are a schizo, and neither does your Dr.

Are you taking any anti-anxiety medications?

Hang in there. Try doing something to take your mind off things. Do you like photography? I'm a filmmaker, and I love looking through that lens and filming something... it makes me focus on what im capturing and filming... and I tend not to think so much.

Hang in there. K. You'll be alright. I had anxiety and thought "what if im turning into a schizo" a long time ago. But my Dr. assured me that was just my anxiety at its best. I do a pretty dang good job at scaring myself. lol. ;)

Hang in there k. Keep us posted on your progress. You really can't diagnose yourself.