Hello and welcome Linda!
First, let me say, I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother. That is a terrible thing to endure and understandably will cause anxiety and depression!
For starters, if what you're doing isn't working to control your symptoms, you need to have a frank discussion with your doctor about what the next step should be. Did your medications help you at ALL at some point? It may be as simple as changing the dosage, or trying a different med. A large part of anxiety/depression treatment involves some trial and error with meds. Also, therapy is imperative, especially after the loss you experienced. If you can, seek out a psychiatrist to manage your meds and monitor your progress with therapy.
Also, I always get very concerned to hear that VERY young children have been diagnosed with very severe mental conditions. If I may ask, who diagnosed your son, and what kinds of treatments is he receiving? Children that young are VERY hard to diagnose due to constant developmental changes, behavior stages, etc, and the "treatments" (especially meds) can make them so much worse. PLEASE have your son seen by ONLY a psychiatrist who specializes in child/adolescent psych. It is a must. Also, it never hurts to seek out multiple opinions in cases where very young children are being diagnosed with very "adult" illnesses.
Please keep us updated on how you AND your son are doing.
Your problems are 'fact based', it's normal to be depressed when someone close to you dies, but it should pass if it's not 'clinical depression', Anxiety/Depression come together in my own case, but they can be coped with by meds. I find Anxiety harder to cope with than depression, mine's an agitated depression when it hits. The two conditions have been separated with meds, so I know which is worse (for me) The previous post gives you lots of good advice. No idea how long you've been on meds, but there's usually a big dip in mood ~& a deterioration in well being after starting meds.The unwanted side-effects arrive before the benefits, so hang on & they may work when you have been on them longer. Wish you well, George