" I just need to know is this my life now? Is this my reality? It feels so much stronger than it was when I was 16. It feels so much more real. I don't know if I'll be able to come out of it, does anyone have any advice or any way of telling me if I'm going to be okay? Or if anyone has gone thru a similar experience?"
These words are how I feel at this current moment. It is hard but we have to have hope that somehow we will get better. I am considering therapy and perhaps meds & a change in routine.
Always take internet advice with some thought. Xanax taken only as needed the way you're doing it won't cause the problems mentioned above -- that usually happens when you take benzos on a daily basis. I agree with the above that you don't really have PTSD, but the name doesn't matter -- what matters is that you feel anxious. My first question would be, has anyone sent you to a psychologist who specializes in anxiety treatment so you might be able to learn to desensitize yourself from the fear you're going to keep getting anxiety attacks because you got one from a drug your brain can't handle. Lots of people get their first anxiety attacks while high. If you really do need medication, your therapist will tell you.
You should follow up with a psychiatrist. The Xanax will cause more problems than resolve. Sure, it will give you short-term relief, but at the cost of rebound anxiety that gets progressively worse until you have to pop Xanax all throughout the day just to get by. What you think is PTSD may actually be anxiety episodes as a result of this and MDMA as a PTSD diagnosis does not quite fit the description you are providing. I would highly encourage you to follow up with a psychiatrist as an outpatient or try an inpatient or residential rehabilitation program. Get off the benzos and recreational drugs. Get on an SSRI. Follow up regularly with a psychiatrist and therapist. And you'll get your mental health back on track.