Seever anxiety....please help me.. if you can..

[kaylaroo]

Hi my name is Kay. Im 20 years old and Ive been suffering from severe anxiety for about 5 years now. Its so bad that I havent been able to leave the house in 3 months. I havent seen our town mall in 2 years. I had to cancel going to college and cant get a job to help out my family. I cant hang out with friends, visit family members..go out shopping, eat at restaurants..I am not able to do anything I want to, even go for walks with my dog or car rides with my family. Even having friends over is really hard...which is why Ive lost most of my friends. I feel fine all day and the minute someone mentions leaving the house I feel sick and feel as though I have to run to the washroom to throw up. Then I feel sick the rest of the day. I start to get dizzy and hot and my head starts to sweat. All my roots get soaked and I feel like Im going to faint. The main symptom though is that im going to vomit and that doesnt go away. Ive been on Effexor for 3 years and it has not helped. Im on prevacid, domperidome,buscopan and was recently just put on paxil...also a few other pills that I cant recal the name. Im 20 years old and I take 8 pills a day....I do not want to live like this forever...plus I dont want to live my life being forced to stay in my house forever either. There would be no point to living. I just want to be normal. This all started in grade 10 for no reason and with no warning...I just felt sick and I thought it was the flu..but it stayed everyday causing me to miss alot of school in highschool...having to quit a few months before graduating..but having a doctors not to get my diploma...I missed my graduation..my prom..which I counted the days down since grade 9 for id say...I havent been able to ever party with friends...go shopping with friends..go out to bars..I cant leave my house...I get soo depressed about this that I start having a hard time seeing why I should live this life. Ive tried other kinds of treatment....ginger pills...esodynamics...nothing has helped me..I just want to give up. Im at a point where I dont even know what to do anymore. My family is getting annoyed and is starting to think im making this up. My doctor just keeps uping my dosage and adding in more pills...I dont want to be on pills my whole life...especially if they arent even working...can anyone please help me...I havent even had the chance to really live my life yet...or do anything normal ppl do at 20 years old....or any year actually....what can I do to help this stop. I cant take it anymore... I want to leave the house so bad and everytime I try and I get sick...it makes it even harder to try the next time. I havent seen the outside in 3 months and I want to just quit....please help me.. thank you for reading this..

[kaylaroo]

Hey, well My docters have been trying to tell me for 5 years now that i dont have anxiety....that its IBS (irrible bowel syndrome) and that thats the reason I feel sick all the time...I went to a stomach docter and he said it or something and said I had a lil bit of acid reflux...but I know tons of ppl with IBS and acid reflux and they dont have the symptoms I have...I also researched IBS and The symtoms I have are not on there..so Im starting to think they are just saying its that. I complain and complain to my doctor about it but he just keeps saying...well we will just try this for a few weeks..or doing this...and it hasnt helped...the last time i went he wanted to add paxil to my list of medications...but Im already on effexor...so he wanted to have me on both,...but my pharmacist said no....so now tomrrow I have an appointment..and hes going to try and keep me on these meds...but im guna come out and say thats it i want to start getting off them....they arent helping me in anyway since I cant even leave the house..so it cant get much worse..so whats the harm right? so ill have to see what he says..I wouldnt even know how to start and try and find out if it was caused by something else thats not even related to anxiety...I would love to book myself in some hospital and have them do every test possible until they found out what was wrong! haha..but thank you for msg. I hope you get over your fear of public speaking! I myself have never had that problem thank god because all I do is go in front of ppl....since I can remember Ive been singing, drumming and such in front of weddings , partys,schools, funerals...anywhere I could...of course until this came..and Im missing it soo much...I miss  being on the stage...My uncle offers me many chances to go sing on stage with him at big places...and it kills me to have to say i cant go....the way I see it is...to be up there...you know how many ppl are jealous of you when your up there? More than half the audience wishes they can go up there and do what you do...but they cant...which is why your up there for them. And it makes you feel really good. And proud of yourself for it. especially when its done and ppl congradulate you and say good job. the saying picture them in their underwear does not work hahaha...but I find knowing they are jealous becuase you can go do that and stand in front of all those ppl ...it just gives you this great feeling...i love it...and miss being able to perform....when i get better...i tell ya!!! im going to every bar and making a band and performing every weekend! hahaha Talk to you later bye for now!

[amb_hgn]

I read some of the posts, scanned through the rest. Did you try to find out if this was perhaps a medical condition? A friend of mine went through everything you are and turns out she has an inner ear problem...weird and seemingly unrelated, but apparently it caused a lot of these symptoms, which she then associated with anxiety and panic disorder, which led to her emotionally aggravating her medical condition by becoming anxious and having panic attacks. Not saying this is your situation, but you may want to make sure that it isn't a treatable medical condition. Then change doctors, see a psychologist who is experienced with anxiety/panic disorder and who will actually use therapy as opposed to poisoning you with all of the drugs!
I have a severe phobia of public speaking - a real career killer for me. But a colleague of mine made a couple of observations...although I felt like I was freaking out and making a fool of myself - it was on the inside. Outwardly, there was little to no sign of it. So most of this is internal and the external signs of freaking out just aren't there. Nice to know that I don't look like I'm spazzing when I feel like I am. Secondly, and most profoundly, he told me that at this point, it was not the fear of public speaking that I had, but rather the fear of the fear of public speaking. And it's true...I fear my fear! Sounds stupid, but that is exactly what it is and just realizing that I was afraid of fear helped a lot.

[kalmkidd]

i agree with Jsgeare 100% like all his post. and it does suck that your family does not support you mine was the same way when i first told them. i idea i have is to find a video about how sever anxiety is and let them watch it thats what i did and they definetly opened up to me. good luck and were all here for the same reason which is to help each other..

[bowla004]

Don't worry you can do it just act like it's normal for your friend to come over which it is. But hey i shouldn't be talkin im having a pretty bad day myself today! You can do this though im so proud of you for not canceling with your friend today. Now to get myself out of the house. I haven't been out since new years. You getting out of the house is one step forward,but for every time you stay in the house it is like taking 5 steps back and it's even harder when you skip a day like i have. Shame on me! lol! For me im really weak, lightheaded, and short of breath. But we all have our bad days. In the words of  my hero Walter Elias Disney  "Keep Moving Forward".

[kaylaroo]

Heyyy thats soooo cool that you work at disney land!! anyways this is a quick note...ive been feeling alright all day and my friend called and asked to stop in...and now i feel sick.... getting hot...very uneasy in my stomach....and just trying to breathl....i was about to txt and say dont come....but i stopped myself and said im going to do it...i think they are here.....im panicky.... hope i feel better...i hate this so much...anyways ill update you later..bye for now!  

[bowla004]

Hey girl whats up! That really touched me about how i have been making you feel a little bit better chatting with me. Trust me you have done the same as well. Just knowing someone else is going through the same thing as me doesn't make me feel like im crazy. lol! I hope it goes well with telling your bf about not going on the trip. It's like we are bascially dealing with the same situations at the same time. Im not looking forward to telling my work that i will be needing another month off. Thankgod they are being very understanding i have already been gone for 5 months now! Due to this problem. But since talking to you i have improved alot. So just maybe i will be getting back to work by the end of febuary but right now im taking it one step at a time. Anyways i am sooo proud of you that you were able to go to your aunts house that is soo awesome! I wish i could see your crafts you sound like your very talented. Im going to try to go to Disneyland again tm. Hopefully i can do it. No i can do it! My hardest time to get out of the house is the daytime. It's easier at night for me to push myself for some reason. But soon i got to push myself to get out in the daytime. I was able to do it on christmas though which was cool. Oh and by the way i know where all the bathrooms are in Disneyland i work there. They do need to put more bathrooms up you got a point there lol! Again good luck with your bf if he really cares about you then he will understand. And take some advice from this JSGeare he seems to know alot about what we are going through and how to handle it. Chat at you laters. love bowla004