Hey girl....thats awesome that you got to go to the movies with your husband! First I thought I read wrong...husband at 23! hahaha but then again most ppl get married around 22 and such....just because I cant see myself being ready doesnt mean the rest of the world isnt! haha Im a big mommys girl... I dont even want to ever think of moving out hahahaha. 23 seems close and I cant imagine myself being married but hey who knows what will happen in 3 years! when I was younger I used to always say I wanted my first kid when I was 23...wow has that changed! haha..but really im so happy for you and that you got to leave,...I understand how good it feels to leave once you get to...its so hard to make yourself but once you do it feels so great. Movies I sometimes in ways find easier then most because I know I can sit down the whole time..and dont have to walk around feeling sick...If i know im sitting down I feel much better about it...but I still cant go! And I do wish more ppl understood what we were going through....I of course cant go anywhere for newyears...Which is disapointing... ill be at home with my family....but my friend called me at 10:30am and asked me if i wanted company tonight...and i said sure...so since 10:30 ive been anxious all day...I never used to get sick when it came to ppl coming over....it used to be the only thing that I felt fine for...but now even inviting a friend over makes me sick....so now all day im going to feel anxious..and come time my friend comes over im going to start to get more nervous and feel like im going to throw up..maybe start to sweat and get really hot and panick....same thing as always and I hate it so much....i wish I had the strength to say....no...this isnt hapening... and stop it...but my mind controls me..and I dont know how to change that around.. Ill post tomorrow and let you know how it goes tonight and such..and I hope you will do the same! I really hope you get to go out for newyears.. what I find helps me the most is ginger pills...but the problem is I dont want to be drugged up everytime i Have to do something....If I plan on going somewhere Ill take them every 4 hours before...tonight I might just try taking some once..see if it does anything...it really helps me with the nauses part anyways... most the time...but i dont want to take pills every 4 hours for the rest of my life...im on enough as it is.. anyways talk to you soon! Love Kay.
By the way we soo need to get our life back im 23 your 20 we are too young to be housebound. If you ever need someone to chat with i will be on this forum. Like i said before you are definitly not alone im going through the same thing i know how you feel and i understand. Trust me it won't last forever. We will conquer our anxiety! Both of us! i have faith in you. You can do it.
It's like we are sort of the same person just today i was happy because i just had a great night last i was able to go to the movies with my husband and for me thats an accomplishment. Well my friend wanted to go to her house today and remind you she knows im going through this and i said i really don't feel like it. She got mad and told me "you don't have a right to an opinion your just a loser who never leaves your house!" That hurt me so bad i cried for two hours. It's sucks that our friends don't understand! But you know what im not going to let that get to me. I was able to go out last night and im determined to go out for new years eve as well dammit!! lol! I will overcome this and so will you. Hang in there girl.
Hey you all....I just love coming on here now and reading all the msges! Makes me feel really good to know that there are people to feel the same as me. And to JSGeare...no im not aussie in any way hehe...Im actually Dutch....kaylaroo is just a nickname ive had since I was little from my parents.And thank you for that long msg. And your right no I dont have any treatment that requires talking to someone....because I cant go. I tried once with an anxiety group at the town hospital but it lasted one day and I couldnt go back.... My anxiety was starting to get better I thought anyways and I was really excited to finally go and get my Drivers ed because Ive had my beginners for ever now..and I want to drive so much...I feel maybe if I drive myself then I wont have to have fears if say when i get somewhere I feel sick and I have to go home....well if im the one driving....then I wouldnt have to be scared to tell anyone Im sick...So I was really excited and I went to my first class on Oct 1st this year....and since then I havent left the house.. Its impossible... And im soo disapointed cause I was sooo excited to drive...Bowla004....I feel when I read your msges..that I wrote them ha....you explain what I go through to a T. I am to scared to even try and go places because of the fear of getting sick and looking like a idiot to everyone having to leave even though we just arrived. And I feel like ill look like a idiot if I throw up in front of people...that maybe people would think im belemic or soemthing ..then it would be highschool all over again ha..I once was sick in the washroom in grade 11 and had a girl come up to me and say...' are you pregnant to? "ha i was like geez no im 16! hahaha It was hard in school with everyone making assumptions....I had a best friend since grade 6...and iin grade 12 when I got so bad that I had to drop out of school 2 months before it ended,...her and a group of girls I used to hang out with all the time turned on me....said I was faking it all and making it up for attention ( because everyone at school was asking about me and making sure I was alright because I never missed to much school then stopped going) so I guess they got jealous and they said I was annorexic and some how "albino" dont know where that one came from! ha...and they said a bunch of harsh stuff saying that they hoped I died from my sickness...and these were girls I was best friends with all throughout highschool...I have one friend Andi-lee who has stayed with me ...shes been the friend that has told me to bring a bag along and that we can leave when we want...and im surprised shes still sticking with me..shes been the one where we would just get to the mall and we would have to leave 2 seconds later....lately shes been asking me to just go hang out at her house in pjs and watch tv..which i used to do no problem....and I cant even do that....and its really getting to me..I just want to be able to go out to clubs...movies..the mall....friends houses...even have friends come over here and not have a second thought about getting sick or anything. Tomorrow is new years eve and im probably the only 20 year old staying in with nothing to do because I cant. Andi-lee has asked me to hang out but I cant.. I just wish a miracle would happen and this would go away.. its to a point now that when my sisters say they are going out to the mall...like for example..my youngest sister had her first date ever....and if it were me nowadays....i would be sick and thinking of ways to get out of it because i felt sick....but I seem to forget that they dont have this problem...so Ill be all worried for her and asking if she feels ok and stuff..and shell be like ya im nervous but im excited...and i just forget how different it is to not have anxiety.....it just gets to me so much... My parents are understanding ppl...well my mom the most....my mom is the one saying you can do it..grab a bag and some giinger ale and its just going here...if you feel sick sit in the van...and that helps me alot ...but my dad....has a really hard time understanding that anxiety is a real problem....hes more along the lines of "why cant you go here? why do you feel sick..i dont understand why you cant leave the house....when you get out of your bubble you can do stuff" and i know guys dont really understand usually... my sisters have a hard time too...at least they act like they dont understand...they might feel bad i guess...but most the time they are always like "ya well at least I can go out with my bf..at least I can leave"stuff like that....and its hard... My dad hates that im on all these pills..and he wants to go in with me the next docters app. and tell him to get me off them all cause they obviously are not working.. i ramble on alot dont I! you will all find out im quite the talker! haha.. dont get to talk to anyone during the day cept my family ad they are tired of hearing this..so now that I get to talk....I talk! hahaha...anyways... ill keep you guys posted for sure...although I cant imagine much new news coming from me anytime soon....i sleep till 4pm cause theres no reason to wake up and all I do is my cross stich and my crafts ...yes im 20 going on 90..... its sad really..hey at least im artistic or i would be bored out of my mind id say
Hi, Kay! I've read your story. I have no advice to give... all of us here actually have anxiety in common, which already is a lot, and all anxiety forms have fear in common, but I've never had panic attacks. But I want to say that you have all my support, that my heart goes to you, and that I'm glad you made a move and opened up here, it's obvious you needed to talk about it and it looks like you haven't had anyone pay attention to you in that regard. I hope things get better for you because you deserve to enjoy all that life has to offer to you. Please keep posting and letting us know. *hugs*
A break through experience! You went through the discomfort of the panic -and it went away. You now know that, YES, it can be done. And you will be able to do it again and again. What a great feeling! And you did it in a movie theatre which for many people is way too confining. Congratulations!