Severe anxiety after drinking too much

[worriedprsn]

Hi,

Last week I went out with friends and got so drunk I couldn't remember anything.  I somewhat remember a friend saying we're leaving the bar, and I guess I walked to my house alone (thanks friends).  I don't remember anything after, all I know is that once I realized where I was, it was 2 hours later I has walked in the opposite direction of my house in the middle of nowhere.  I remember the walk home after that and fell asleep.

I am very scared that I did something really bad.  During the night I had texted a good friend of mine that I was with another "friend", but by that time we had left the bar and I should've been on my own.  I'm a male but there are a lot of gay people around in the city, especially at that time in the night who knows what could've happened to me in that state.  I have no pain or anything, but by the time I was aware of anything I was in the middle of nowhere (maybe Im just watching too many movies like the hangover).  Also what if I did something illegal or immoral to someone else?  I don't know how I would react to these potential actions.  A good thing shows that I was texting and calling numerous people throughout the blackout period, so that might have kept me busy while I was walking.

My gut is telling me that I remember going home, got home fine, and am not in pain so nothing probably happened.  I was just walking aimlessly and eventually got home.  However, I am terrified that something may have happened, I am getting an STD test in a month to make sure I'm OK.  I have been very troubled by all of this and it is all I can think about.

Is it just my imagination that is driving me crazy, or do I have reason for concern?

[worriedprsn]

First, thank you nursegirl for your words, will definitely listen to your advice.

omhome, I don't drink every single day, only socially.  I don't need alcohol to have a good time, I just do it in moderation when I am with friends.  Normally I know exactly what is going on, but this time I didn't, which is why my mind is going crazy right now (I mentioned this is the first blackout in over 9 years of drinking socially).

In my mind, if someone knows you are vulnerable, they will take what they can from you after assaulting you.  I've never met a female victim so I wouldn't know, just an assumption.

Your reply seems somewhat patronizing, so if I offended you in any way, then I apologize.  I'm just trying to put my mind at ease here, not get into any arguments and increase my anxiety level

[omhome]

no you didn't at all  and i am so sorry if i gave you that impression. I guess i just didn't say things very well at all worried---and i do get a bit preachy (my daughters let me know) from years as a lecturer at college and then for years as a yoga teacher. yep----directive when i probably should just listen (why i quit counseling). So why not just ignore what i said and focus on nursegirl's post. I would only second her advice to steer clear of the alcohol. If you do not need it to have fun then why do it if it can harm you? Right?
     Sorry----there i go again worriedprsn. (that's from ronald reagan's prez debate! Wow!). I better go so please accept my apology for "patronizing?".

omhome

[worriedprsn]

I am scared to death right now, what should I do?

It is exactly one week later, and now I have bad soreness/irritation around my anus.  This is not imagination it has been feeling like this all day.  I have never had this before.  Could it be a fissure or something healing?

I am so afraid right now its killing me.  Should I go to the doctor?

Please advise, Im desperate for support

[omhome]

probably better to go than sit and worry. what can you lose if you go----if money then is this suffering worth it? You might end up having to go so might as well be now.
What can you lose? A little money.
What can you lose if you do not go?  Well----don't want to scare you more.
  I would be there now!

omhome

[worriedprsn]

I am definitely going to go and check it out, I have never been this scared in my life.  Is it possible to feel no pain until a week later?

I feel like the unluckiest person in the world right now, Im such an idiot.

[nursegirl6572]

You weren't sexually assaulted...remember the FACTS, not the fear.  The pain needs assessed, it could be a hemmorhoid for all you know.  This does NOT mean anything happened.

Let us know what you find out....hang in there.  Remember, anxiety is often very irrational...your fears are pretty irrational.  Not impossible, but very very improbable!