Thank You all very much. That is what i will do then. I will go see a therapist. Ive always been "tough" and thought i would never need yo speak with a therapist. Im kind of a black & white kind of person. If there are symptoms (i.e. my tongue issues) than it must be from my exposure. I tell myself inside, that if i just forget it, my tongue will go back to normal.
I totally agree with paxiled here and he's given you good advice. The truth is, your reaction is telling of your anxiety disorder. Sure, it's normal to have something make you nervous but once you've found out the facts, taken tests that say negative, been told numerous times you never had a risk, the panic and anxiety is unique to you and is due to the "something inside you" that Paxiled speaks of. It's your anxiety disorder. This is the "thing" that you need to shift your focus to. Just like HIV, anxiety is a disease. A disease to be treated. Talk to your doctor about this. That's a good place to start. Therapy is known to help. For your family's sake that you love, get help for your anxiety. good luck
The episode didn't put you in panic mode. Something inside you did that. I would start with therapy, and, if that doesn't help you figure out why you're thinking this way and you keep spiraling out of control, your psychologist will refer you to a psychiatrist for possible medication.
Your HIV thread was closed so you received the advice you can't have HIV. See your doctor and discuss setting up an appointment with a therapist, because you have a mental block about HIV. There is no science behind your belief but you are still sticking with it, so you need a one on one discussion that this forum can't provide.
The first step to peace is to quit Googling cold turkey because you are taking your Googling results and trying to dream up impossible HIV theories.