Struggling with irrational thoughts and constant Anxiety

[Epicentre]

Hello,

My name's Brian. I'm 20 years old and live in South Africa.
I have always been a very introverted-analytical thinker and perfectionist, which as you may have guessed has caused me many hours of worry throughout my short life.

Now that I have given a brief introduction to myself, and the way I think, I will now summarize what I have been struggling with:
Half way through last year I had the worry that nothing around me was real; or the constant question "How can you be sure everything is real?". This caused panic and anxiety, which I just couldn't seem to stop. This fear eventually vanished and was replaced by another irrational thought:
When I would read silently I would have the fear that I may not actually be reading all I saw, or the question "How can you be sure you are actually reading?". This fear would stop if I read everything out loud. Now the fear has moved on to a doubt of my own internal thoughts, of whether they actually exist (ridiculous, I know). And, I also have this overwhelming confusion of what language is all about, how we come to know anything.etc.

What I have just said, I realize, is a mouthful. But I am desperate, and need help. It has gotten to the point that I cannot enjoy anything I'm doing. As soon as I wake up the thoughts, feelings, anxiety and panic start. I have scheduled to see a Psychologist, but, in the meantime, does anyone have any advice for me?

[Taunya515]

Hello,

Strange that I would find your comment.  I was looking up something else, first time I have ever looked up anything on this website.  

My story is so similar to yours.  When I was 25 my irrational thoughts and anxieties began.  I even ended up in an emergency room because I truly thought I was dying.  At this point in my life, I had never even had my blood taken before.  I never went to a doctor except for a flu shot.  

At the emergency room they told me I was having a panic attack and I said "What is that?!"  Had no idea what was happening to me.  They told me to find a psyciatrist who specialized in Generalized Panic Disorder.

I immediately made an appointment with a specialist in my area, Salt Lake City, Utah.  At the appointment all she did was tell me that she had had a panic attack once and then she gave me prescriptions for medications such as Paxil, Zoloft, Klonopin, Xanax...

That was 13 years ago.  Since that time I have been to 6 different specialists and 4 other general doctors.  I have tried many different medications and find that they work for a short time and then my anxiety is right back.

My advice to you is stay away from the medications.  The side effects are horrible and they all tend to be very addictive.  I have found relief and some good coping skills in a meditation class that I attend once a week.  Also, Brian Weiss has some good books and meditations that have helped me.  

Good luck.  It helps me to know that I am not alone.

Taunya

[Epicentre]

Thanks for the reply.

I believe the form of thinking that leads to this disorder: Analytical thinking, can be a very useful thing in our lives. I can attest to this as I have done quite well academically up until now. The only side-effect is when we turn this form of thinking inside-out and analyze ourselves. But how can we stop doing this? I hope to find answers.