health anxiety

[tomsmithers]

Well I'm at that point again. I'm worried sick I have an undiagnosed illness. I've got tingling in my leg foot / leg area. I also feel it in my finger tips and sometimes in my scalp. Anyone care to guess what concerns me ?................. Thats right MS. For some reason I cant get this out of my head and even though MS is not usually the end of the world for someone like me I would have the worse case possible I'm sure. Anyone have these symptoms / health concern ? At times its some overwelming. I'm not to bad right now but I have been to the point were its all I can think about, totally consumed. In the past I've made myself believe I have had HIV (twice) and lymphoma. Even though I know I have this problem its hard to forget the all to real symptoms I'm having.

[osceola]

I have had the same health anxieties before. Two years ago I thought I had a progessive neurological illness . The one thing I really recommend is (if you have not done so  already) DO NOT ,WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT START DOING GOOGLE SEARCHES ON MS. If you already have, then do everything you can to not go back. I used to spend obsessive HOURS  on my computer looking stuff up with the intention of it making me feel better, but I always picked up on the smallest negative detail (of course) and it only fueled the fire of my anxiety.I know this is hard, it was very hard for me. Sometimes my husband would just make me get off the computer. Buy, over the years, counseling, meditation, and meds have helped TREMENDOUSLY. (Effexor and Wellbutrin) I,like cj29, with help,  have learned to recognize my thinking patterns which helps me to control them . Hang in there.  

[Rottweiler]

I didn't know there was anyone else who had these feelings - that I was the only one.  Ever since I can remember, I've had a fear of disease and dying and it has debilitated me - I don't live, I exist.  Read all your responses.  Wish you only good things, tomsmithers.  Am crying while I write this, it just hits home so much.  I have a therapist but the fear is so strong.

Megwich - Thank  you

Rottie

[osceola]

I am really feeling for you. I know exactly the place you are and it is not f.....ing Disney World. I figured you had probably done the web searches-it kind of goes along with the territory. It is very hard to stop once you start. If you are like me and are a "information junkie", I'd like to make a suggestion. There are a couple of books that really helped me understand the mind-body-emotion connection. One is Molecules of Emotion by Candace Pert--some of the chapters are science heavy with the experiments she did but she really has a great way of writing that makes it all make sense. She also has a great sense of humor and gives "real -life " applications. Also, Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat Zinn-he really helps to explain the body's stress reaction and how you get stuck in it. I figured if you want to get more info, this type of info may be helpful vs feeding the monster. I wish you well. You can and will get thru it.
Osceola

[tomsmithers]

Thanks, unfortunately I've already done enough searches to be an expert on MS, and from my past HIV and Lymphoma. I do the same thing your talking about. I said I would never look up another illness but then one day I felt a tingle and started looking thinking it would be no big deal then I came across MS and now I've been consumed with worry for well over a month. As you probably know a can get by most of the time with it on my mind or on the back burner but at times it gets pretty crazy. Especially when I'm reading about read about another symptom that I had and my body feels real hot like I just lost my best freind. Those are the low times. I need someone to talk to but am scared to open up to someone for fear of being laughed at or put down.

[tomsmithers]

Thanks for your time and concern. I'm wondering if you got any help from a counselor or other. Are you now or have you had to take any meds to help you control these feeling?

[cj29]

I also think you have it right.  You say you always think, "I'm right this time, there is something is wrong."  I think the EXACT same way. Three years ago I had test after test after test because I thought SOMETHING was wrong with my heart and that these doctors and cardiologists must be wrong.  I used to look on the internet for symptoms and convinced myself I had lyme disease, MS, and a whole host of other illnesses.  I would leave the docs and say "what if.....?"

I have had a return of my anxiety this year after years of not worrying about it one bit, but I understand the anxiety cycle and the catastrophic thinking.  When we worry about health anxiety EVERY little sensation will bother us and we tend to think worst case scenario.  I know it is really hard to trust the doctors, because we lose control.

In my opinion, the best way to deal with this is talk it through with a mental health professional (psychologist, psychiatrist, counselor, etc).  For me, understanding this cycle gives you a lot of power over what you think is an impossible situation to control.  I have learned (albeit slowly sometimes), to control this thinking and have actually been kind of interested in why I think the way I do.

Please keep us posted and understand that I know what you are feeling; that is what makes this forum so helpful because so many people have been EXACTLY where you are and care how things turn out.  

[tomsmithers]

I have been to my PCP for my yearly exam which came out fine. I mentioned to her about the tingling and she explained a few thing but with my overall health she didnt feel it was anything to really be concerned about. I havnt talked to anyone about my anxiety problems. The problem with this is that with physical symptoms you always think " I'm right this time there is something wrong". I know that anxiety can cause physical feeling but its hard to stop my mind from drifting to the what ifs.

[Jerzeegal]

Fuzzy is right on the mark... you really answered your own post and the best thing you can do is get some help with learning how to cope with anxiety when it rears it's little head.

The thing that I have learned when dealing with my own health anxiety is... what if it is what I fear ( for instance in your case MS) there is nothing I can do to change it, worrying and being anxious about it isn't going to fix it. BUT accepting what is wrong and taking steps to cope with it and treat it gives me control of my life and what happens in it.

[fuzzy882]

I know if you go down through these thread's your going to find someone with the same exact symptoms as your's and they have self diagnosed with the same exact illness.

If YOU read your thread, you will see that you have got it figured out. You have already been there and done it. And you know it's the anxiety feeding this. Making you believe things that just are not fact.  

Have you been to a dr. to get a ck.up?  Could be that it's the only way for you to be assured.

Good Luck