Turning Mole Hills into Mountains...

[cnote]

27 Male. Suffers from anxiety from time to time. I am getting better, but I still struggle. It's been a while since I've been on the forum, which is a good thing, but I'm no stranger. haha. It's amazing, when I'm feeling great and out of my "funk", I always love dropping by the forum and giving some words of encouragement, and hope that I'll never be back in that boat, but her I am... needing some encouragement once again. ha.

About a week and 2 days ago, I noticed my throat feeling tight... as in the muscles were tight. I was also experiencing some post nasal drip. I told my mother about it, and she said "oh yes dear, I get that all the time with my allergies".

So a couple days go buy, and the left side of my throat started to bother me, felt like a sore throat. When I looked in my throat, I could see the skin or tissue on the sides of my top pallete (near my left tonsil) was a little red and irritated. But I went on with my day and didnt worry about it, I knew allergies/post nasal drip can cause irritation etc.

Then the NEXT day, I was fine during the day, but that night, after having a few beers with my buddy, and smoking cigarettes (yes im a smoker) my throat felt REALLY TIGHT, and pretty darn SORE and DRY, and my post nasal drip was pouring.

The next day, I just felt like crap, tired achy, tight throat, irritated on the left side, and a new sensation was born, the feeling of a piece of popcorn kernal or something when i swallowed on the left side near my tonsil area. This feeling stuck around for a few days. But didnt cause any pain. I thought it was a tonsil stone, but couldnt find any, or push any out.

The throat irritation finally left about 4 days ago, but ever since, I have had high anxiety over it, I've become OCD with my throat, and the popcorn kernal feeling was still there off and on with no irritation.

This is where anxiety got me, my throat still felt very tight, but not sore, and the muscles felt sore from being so tight, and my glands near my ears felt sore... it just stunk! i made it into something worse.

You know why?... b/c I had the EVIL ANXIETY THOUGHT OF "WHAT IF ITS THROAT CANCER?"

So the past 4 days or so I have been a MESS, and my GAG REFLEXES have been high, lots of sinus drainage still, bad butterflies in my stomach from the "worry/irrational fear", TOTAL LOSS OF APPETITE. It just stinks.

So today, I finally went to my Dr. who I've been seeing for 3 years now for my anxiety.

He said, you need some reassurance it's not anything serious right? and he looked in my throat, and said everything looks fine, no signs or symptoms of throat cancer at all.

I was relieved, but at the same time, my anxiety was still there...

Then on my way home, I felt this "cut" type feeling again on my tonsil or above my left top pallete? I couldnt pin point it to be honest, but it made me start FREAKING OUT AGAIN... I kept telling myself "Chris, It's NOTHING SERIOUS, THE DR JUST CHECKED YOU OUT! YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU, IT'S NOT CANCER!"

But I'm still struggling with the anxiety and the "WHAT IF HE MISSED SOMETHING" Thought.

How can I beat this? I dont wanna look like a fool and go back and see him again after he already told me I'm fine.

I think I'm a hypochondriac. B/c I keep a journal of all my anxiety funks... and they all seem to start with a "physical symptom" but they are not made up symptoms they are real.. but I just freak out and "think" the worse scenario.

I'm learning and getting better, I really am. But I want to defeat this thought pattern.

Do you guys think I'll eventually get out of this funk? I've been through many, and have always came out of them... but I just need assurance sometimes, and some encouragement from you guys. It's just amazing how it went from some little throat irritation to THIS. This is a perfect example of how we can turn Mole Hills into Mountains...

LOTS OF LOVE! Sorry so long! But you know how it is. haha. =)
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/new_with_new_subject?forum_id=71#
Keeping my head up as high as I can. =)

-Cnote-

[cnote]

Thanks for responding. Sorry to hear about your losses =(

Today I think I have fully accepted that I DO NOT HAVE ANY TYPE OF SERIOUS PROBLEM WITH MY THROAT EXCEPT FOR ALLERGIES.

I have to learn to TRUST my DR.

My wife made a VERY GOOD POINT to me lastnight. She said "Trust me, if Dr. David thought you had throat cancer, he would know, he actually sees people with throat cancer, and he said that you are CLEAR AND HEALTHY! He said it's allergies!"

So, today I fully accepted it. Even though my anxiety is still high (kinda pacy nervous energy, and bad butterflies in stomach feeling), and my sinus drainage is still pouring like a waterfall at times, and my gag reflex is up (probably due to the sinus drainage, but more from the anxiety.

Today I had the radio on, and turned it to a Christian Station while cruising through stations... this song was on, that just made my hairs stick up. Tears started pouring out of my eyes... It was a Christian song, and I just cried out to Jesus while listening to it. And let me tell you, my stomach was no longer nervous, and I just felt a huge relief!

However, tonight my anxiety is still up a bit, but I KNOW THAT GOD IS GOING TO GET ME THROUGH THIS LIKE HE ALWAYS DOES.

The Devil wants us to be distracted by worry, so we do not focus on whats important, Family and God.

It's funny, you'd think since I accepted it as allergies and not cancer... I'd be feeling instantly better... but for me at least, I think it just has to work itself out slowly... and will diminish within a week or two.

I bought some zyrtec tonight, gonna give it a try tomorrow.

I am not going to post any more on here until I feel 100%back to my old worry-free self again. Just so I can tell you guys "I DID IT!"

Thanks again for writing mammo! God Bless You!

[mammo]

I think "accepting" that you are okay after your doctor tells you this, is key.  I know it's not that easy for you to do, but even if he had found something no amount of worry would change it!  Worry changes nothing, but it can, and does affect you in other ways, it's hard on your heart and fuels your anxiety.  If you don't get this under control you will wake up an old man and wonder where the years went.......you'll have worried them away.  There you'll be an old man and realize that all your worry was for nothing, and you didn't get to enjoy your life.  I understand worry far too much.  I have lost many loved ones and live in constant fear of losing another.  I lost my son to an hereditary disease which his son developed.  I worried like crazy that I would lose my grandson....and I did!  Neither was supposed to die, but they did, and all my worry couldn't prevent this from happening.  You're so young, I hate to see you worrying your life away!  Take it from someone who knows.