Does this happen to anyone else?

[jenn19]

I have a very wierd habbit that makes me anxious throughout the day. Several times during the day (probably 20 times) i kind of "check up" on myself. By this i mean i become really aware of everything...sounds, sight, thoughts, everything. It sounds wierd but like watching tv, i will focus really hard on watching it when normally i would just watch mindlessly lol. It makes me anxious when i am so aware like this, i also focus on my breathing when i get these feelings. My mind usually can get off of being so aware but it always comes back to me "checking on myself" again. I get these feelings when it happens like im never going to get my mind off of my breathing or being aware. I know its stupid in my mind but i keep doing it. Anyone else do this?

[RubyWitch]

I think it would be very good for you to ask your doctor for a referral to a good therapist. I believe it's important to get a professional diagnosis of exactly what your dealing with. Celexa is primarily prescribed for depression, it is an SSRI, but some of it's "unlabeled uses" are for panic disorder and obessive-compulsive disorder. I think you are dealing with components of both these issues, and while I think you have some anxiety about this, I didn't get the feeling you were depressed.
But there are so many meds out there, if you feel the Celexa is working for you, then don't fix want ain't broke.
You are NOT going crazy. Not even a little. You have a mental disorder, which millions of us do and for which the vast majority of us takes medication for to live "normal" lives. You are no crazier than a diabetic who must take insulin or the epileptic who must take their Dilantin. We are in the "lucky group." as often therapy can "fix" our problems. Others don't have that option at all.
As to your last two questions................with therapy, medication and time and some hard work on your part, your chances for a full "recovery" are excellent. Many, many people have totally recovered from their anxiety and panic disorders.
But there are some of us who have been through extremely traumatic events, and while therapy and meds will help us live relatively normal lives, we will always be a bit like Humpty-Dumpty. We're essensially "put back together," but we'll always have a few "cracks." I don't think you're a "Humpty-Dumpty." But you obviously have some issues and just masking the symptoms with meds will never get you to the root casuse of your anxiety, which is where you need to go if you want to get rid of it. That is where therapy will take you.
I wish you the very best and know that you can write us anytime you need to. We're open all night, just like 7/11.
Peace
Greenlydia      

[jenn19]

thank you so much for the detailed response. I have been to my doctor about a month ago for this and he suggested celexa 20mg, i went beack to him 5 days ago and he upped my dose to 40mg thinking that this would do the trick, i know the 40mg hasnt fully kicked in yet but the medicine does help somewhat, i still check up on myself but i dont get the overwhelming hopeless feeling as much as i used too. I havent ever been to a therapist or anything to diagnose me, although that should probably be my next step. A lot of the questions you said are things i ask myself when i become anxiously aware like this. Am i going crazy? Will this ever stop? Am i going to be like this forever?

[RubyWitch]

Many people with health anxiety will give themselves "medical check ups" throughout the day. It's called being "hyper-vigilant." Every little ache or pain, twitch or tweak, will bring on aothner round of questions.........."what was that pain in my heart, is it betaing too fast, too slow, did it just skip a beat, am I having a heart attack, is my breathing OK, can I get enough air, why can't I catch my breath, am I breathing too fast/slow, why do I feel dizzy, AM I feeling dizzy, why do I feel weird, why is my left pinky numb, now my heart really IS beating too fast................"
Often these mini-exames will turn into out and out anxiety/panic attacks.
But what I am understanding from what you've written is that when you check your breathing, you don't seem to get anxious about how your breathing, or what your heart is doing or does that slight headache mean a brain tumor...........but rather, you get anxious BECAUSE you are checking them in the first place. Nothing they are doing is causing you to feel anxious, the simple fact you're checking is the sorce of your anxiety.
And when you say that you become really aware of "EVERYTHING," which includes sights and sounds in your external environment, this, to me, is "different," and I don't know, really, what to say about that. If I become hyper-vigilant, it's like the rest of the world disappears and it is just me and all the scary symptoms I am perceiving at that moment.
But, just like all things that have to do with anxiety/panic/depression, the disorder itself AND the way we are treating it, are all so highly individual. We are all different in how we react, how we perceive......................
Have you ever seen anyone about this habit of yours? Have you actually been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? Has anyone ever suggested therapy to help you understand why you do this and help you break this habit?
There may very well be a numeber of people who experience exactly what you do and I hope they will add to this thread for you.
I would suggest, for your own peace of mind, that you consult your doctor and let him/her know what you do............and the fact that you do it is causing you some anxiety. Hopefully they won't just hand you a bottle of pills and tell you to go away, but will really listen to what you're saying. After a good medical work up to rule out any organic reason for these episoids, if anxiety is the only card left on the table, then some CBT might just be your ticket out.
And if it is anxiety, please post again as we CAN help you with that.
Please let us know what the doc says, OK? I'm sure there are folks here who can relate and would like to know.
I wish you the best
Peace
Greenlydia  
        

[RubyWitch]

Many people with health anxiety will give themselves "medical check ups" throughout the day. It's called being "hyper-vigilant." Every little ache or pain, twitch or tweak, will bring on aothner round of questions.........."what was that pain in my heart, is it betaing too fast, too slow, did it just skip a beat, am I having a heart attack, is my breathing OK, can I get enough air, why can't I catch my breath, am I breathing too fast/slow, why do I feel dizzy, AM I feeling dizzy, why do I feel weird, why is my left pinky numb, now my heart really IS beating too fast................"
Often these mini-exames will turn into out and out anxiety/panic attacks.
But what I am understanding from what you've written is that when you check your breathing, you don't seem to get anxious about how your breathing, or what your heart is doing or does that slight headache mean a brain tumor...........but rather, you get anxious BECAUSE you are checking them in the first place. Nothing they are doing is causing you to feel anxious, the simple fact you're checking is the sorce of your anxiety.
And when you say that you become really aware of "EVERYTHING," which includes sights and sounds in your external environment, this, to me, is "different," and I don't know, really, what to say about that. If I become hyper-vigilant, it's like the rest of the world disappears and it is just me and all the scary symptoms I am perceiving at that moment.
But, just like all things that have to do with anxiety/panic/depression, the disorder itself AND the way we are treating it, are all so highly individual. We are all different in how we react, how we perceive......................
Have you ever seen anyone about this habit of yours? Have you actually been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder? Has anyone ever suggested therapy to help you understand why you do this and help you break this habit?
There may very well be a numeber of people who experience exactly what you do and I hope they will add to this thread for you.
I would suggest, for your own peace of mind, that you consult your doctor and let him/her know what you do............and the fact that you do it is causing you some anxiety. Hopefully they won't just hand you a bottle of pills and tell you to go away, but will really listen to what you're saying. After a good medical work up to rule out any organic reason for these episoids, if anxiety is the only card left on the table, then some CBT might just be your ticket out.
And if it is anxiety, please post again as we CAN help you with that.
Please let us know what the doc says, OK? I'm sure there are folks here who can relate and would like to know.
I wish you the best
Peace
Greenlydia  
Sorry I couldn't give you a more definite answer to YOUR particular "habit,"          



If they focus on their hearts, they will ask themselves, "is it beating too fast, too slow, did it just skip a beat, is it racing, does it feel weird, what did that pain mean, am I having a heart attack?" If they zero in on their breathing they might ask themselves, "Am I breathing weird, am I getting enough air, why am I breathing so fast, why can't I catch my breath?" Or they focus in on other other sensations and ask, "Why am I feeling dizzy, why do things seem 'unreal,' why do I feel like I'm not really