fear of being raped

[awesoME87]

Lately that's all I think about when guys friends (whether I knew them know them or wanting to me) I get anxious an fearful that I'm going to or will be raped... I know not to get myself in an icky situation but what I been thru I can't help but think people will take advantage of me an causes me not to go out not to do anything go anywhere .. how do I get over this feeling?

[awesoME87]

i do see a counselor once a week every week... I was in a abusive relationship was beat up at 9mo preg. along with alot of horrible things i put in another post.. also just a couple months ago i was with a friend i thought i could trust (he saved my life at one point) but had left me in his aptmt where there was 5 other guys leading me and trying to get me into the bathroom i got scared left.. but since that one incident, i notice my self starting to shut everyone out of my life...

[nursegirl6572]

Hello and welcome!  Sorry you're goiong through this!  We'll try to help!

You say "what you went through"...have you experienced a sexual assault or rape in your past?  If so, I would be suspicious that you're possibly dealing with PTSD, or something similar.  Obviously, I cannot diagnose you...it's just a thought.

Do you have any history of anxiety, depression, any mental illness at all, and have you sought ANY kind of professional help for this worry?  If you have gone through something traumatic, it goes without saying that this would be a common fear for you, and while it's GOOD as a woman to have your guard up and be hyper-vigilant of your surroundings, it's not good to have this kind of anxiety, where it is affecting your life and how you view all the men in your life.  That's going to really start affecting the relationships in your life.

I would strongly urge you to seek professional help for this.  You could start by asking your doc for a referral to a psychiatrist.  He/she would then thoroughly assess you, offer a diagnosis, and discuss treatment options, that most likely would include therapy.

You don't have to live in fear, hon.  Please get some help...and let us know how you're doing, okay?

[Proxxi]

i know what you're going through. My best friends wife had this same fear. We are very close so she tallked to me about it. She said that the feeling came out of NOWHERE. It was such a big fear of hers and it kept building up and building up until it got to the point where it was affecting her life. She would let any male get close to here without here having mini anxiety attacks.

I sat her down and told her that she had a choice. She could either let that fear destroy her confidence day by day  or she can be pro-active and do something about her fears. because it was literally destroying her confidence and ruining her life. All because of this one fear. Well the following weak she went and bought a mini can of pepper-spray and a pocket knife to keep in her purse. ( She said that she didnt even realize that weight it lifted just knowing it was there ). Then she went to the local gym with another one of her girlfriends and but on the boxing gloves and started sparring and hitting the punching bag.

She said that she and her friend do it twice a week and she can't believe that all it took to get over her fear was to get her confidence level up. It was truely great to see bc she went from being absolutely terrified to walking around confident, smiling and that being the last thing on her mind. Hope this helps... best wishes.