Please help me I feel desperate!!

[Gg__98]

So, this will be a long post, but I wholeheartedly ask you to take a bit of your time to read this and offer me some advice!! I just turned 18 in these days, and when I was 16 I started to have OCD about the obsessive fear of being crazy/insane/delusional!! Since then I reached for help and besides doing a little of cognitive therapy, I was put on oral Abilify. To be honest, I must say that I wasn't actually costant with the medications, it happened I skipped a day or two from time to time (plus I never took one Whole pill but half of it) and I also have to say that, even if outside I started to appear calmer, relaxed and normal, inside I think I didn't have that much progress, because I never committed to manage anxiety and ocd properly, by typical teen-age hostility, emotionality and heavy unsatisfaction, I also must admit I had a terrible job in taking proper care of myself, of my mental health. In 2 years, because of external factors (besides OCD), I cried and sobbed daily, was costantly touchy and self-absorbed and had huge anxiety. Now, I am gifted with a decent sense of self-awereness and I can consciously say that I am too much dramatic and maybe fragile over little stuff, and right now that I feel like crap again, I wish I didn't screw my peace of mind so badly during all these years, but just in these days I started feeling strange again. I can't help but believe firmly something is seriously wrong with myself, with my mind, even if everybody around me would support that I'm OK, I can't help but feeling anxious and terribly scared I may be insane or lose touch with reality because I have frequent panic Attacks in which I fear I may believe that my relatives or loved ones could be against me. Please, note that I don't believe this crazy **** my brain makes up at all, but I can't help feeling anxious and uncomfortable when they creep in. I can't say nothing to my mom because I don't want her to feel in pain again, but I don't neither want to get crazy. What can I do?

[Paxiled]

Are you in the US?  First, it doesn't sound like you have OCD -- it's sounds like you do suffer from anxiety, which always involves obsessive thinking.  Second, Abilify isn't used or approved to treat anxiety -- it's a last-resort drug for intractable depression, and is most often used in conjunction with other antidepressants for this purpose.  So who is treating and diagnosing you?