Aa
hopeless
i have suffered from depression/anxiety since early childhood,i was victimized by school bullys,and my father was murdered when i was 5yrs old,my life has seemed like one failure after another,i cant seem to stay in a relationship or hold a job,i am a licensed health care provider,42yr old hetero male,at the end of my rope,i live with my mother and cant keep a job,i cannot deal with conflict,if i encounter conflict with anyone including co-workers or spouses,i dont possess the skills necessary to resolve the issue without eliminating the situation altogether,i was diagnosed with depression/anxiety after seeking treatment during a divorce and while working with mentally ill clients,the meds [benzodiazopines and antidepressants] hurt me more than helped,i have recently developed a extreme fear of my mother dying,she is my only support,emotionally and financially,i realize how pathetic i am,which direction from here?
Well, H, I hate to be the one to burst your bubble, but running your yap about it here, on the anxiety forum, is automatic disqualification for hopelessess. You've done something that goes the OTHER way -gives you hope! And from that, comes progress. Don't believe me? Look around, talk to people, do searches on names you see here and on words that describe your situation.
And another thing ... you have articulated your situation and self-concept cogently and with great intelligence, so that's two more reasons you'll have to give up the title. Now all you have to worry about is getting better -as gracefully as you can, without annoying the rest of us.
OK, I'm messing with you a bit - I admit it- and while I am no expert, I've actually been where you are -as have many of us here on the forum and I'm here to tell you (and everyone will back me up on this) that you have already taken the first step.
First things first: welcome to this community. You're home, you're safe, you're exactly where you need to be. Don't even think for one moment that I'm making this up -as your own eyes will show you, I'm right on the money. NEXT: not right now, but maybe sooner than you think, because of your exposure to and familiarity with mental health, you're going to have some work to do around here, because you've already forgotten what I and many others have yet to learn.
Here's your homework, and I don't want to hear any carping about it: JOIN this forum, become a member and write your profile so we actually have some clue (aside from this post) as to what your situation is. THEN spend an hour or so checking our experience and credentials so you know we can be trusted. We won't always get it right -but we don't lie to anyone, either. And, if you see, right away, something that someone needs to know, for the love of Mike, tell them!
I've got dinner burning on the stove, so I've gotta split. I'll be back first thing in the morning, meaning probably around 5AM. By that time I will expect to see another post or a private message that gives me your opinion of how you got where you are. If you don't know where to start, then make it the first bully you experienced.
Other than that, let's have an actual name or handle other than "hopeless," so we can be at least a litle bit personal.
We are all, totally, absolutely behind you and beside you. No exceptions, guaranteed. Now -get to work!
I'll be looking for you come first light.
And another thing ... you have articulated your situation and self-concept cogently and with great intelligence, so that's two more reasons you'll have to give up the title. Now all you have to worry about is getting better -as gracefully as you can, without annoying the rest of us.
OK, I'm messing with you a bit - I admit it- and while I am no expert, I've actually been where you are -as have many of us here on the forum and I'm here to tell you (and everyone will back me up on this) that you have already taken the first step.
First things first: welcome to this community. You're home, you're safe, you're exactly where you need to be. Don't even think for one moment that I'm making this up -as your own eyes will show you, I'm right on the money. NEXT: not right now, but maybe sooner than you think, because of your exposure to and familiarity with mental health, you're going to have some work to do around here, because you've already forgotten what I and many others have yet to learn.
Here's your homework, and I don't want to hear any carping about it: JOIN this forum, become a member and write your profile so we actually have some clue (aside from this post) as to what your situation is. THEN spend an hour or so checking our experience and credentials so you know we can be trusted. We won't always get it right -but we don't lie to anyone, either. And, if you see, right away, something that someone needs to know, for the love of Mike, tell them!
I've got dinner burning on the stove, so I've gotta split. I'll be back first thing in the morning, meaning probably around 5AM. By that time I will expect to see another post or a private message that gives me your opinion of how you got where you are. If you don't know where to start, then make it the first bully you experienced.
Other than that, let's have an actual name or handle other than "hopeless," so we can be at least a litle bit personal.
We are all, totally, absolutely behind you and beside you. No exceptions, guaranteed. Now -get to work!
I'll be looking for you come first light.
Hi there, please don't call yourself pathetic, you were traumatized as a child and just haven't learned how to cope in life. You may need ongoing therapy to help with coping skills and I completely understand the fear of losing the one person in your life whom you are emotionally and financially dependent on . AD's never helped me either, but what did help was talk therapy and self help. The self help you are doing just by posting on this forum.
Keep reading and posting, I've found this site to be a wonderful tool and seeing that other people feel the same way I do......well, all I can say is finding this particular website is one of the best things to ever happen to me and it has been an enormous help.
Keep reading and posting, I've found this site to be a wonderful tool and seeing that other people feel the same way I do......well, all I can say is finding this particular website is one of the best things to ever happen to me and it has been an enormous help.
Wow I am sorry to hear you are going through so much right now.
First of all you are not pathetic. I am 32, almost 33 , a mother of two, and engaged to be married. I own my own home, cars, take good care of my kids...and I STILL NEED MY MOM! This post touched me because I too have the same fear. I am so afraid that something is going to happen to my mother, and then my whole world is going to fall apart. As I reach another birthday I realize that not only I am getting older, but so is she, and that causes me so many different emotions I don't know even know where to begin.
I lost my father too, not as early as you did, but about 10 years ago. He was my best friend, so is my mom. So trust me, i completely understand some of your emotions. Being that I have this same problem I don't know how much help I can be right now, I'm still trying to work through my emotions. I can tell you this. Spend quality time with her. Tell her you love her every day. tell her thank you every day. Instead of worrying about her dying, enjoy the precious time God allows you to have left with her. It will cause you less pain when she is gone, trust me.
As far as your problems with conflict....find a conflict resolution class...they are everywhere. Most county health or social services offer them at no cost. I can help you find one if you let me know what county you live in. Only if you are comfortable with that. (I'm not an axe murderer I promise ) Finding a support group or class for that will help you get the tools and skills you need to deal with conflict, and then also help you with keeping a job. I'm guessing a big fear is what will happen to you if you have no job when she dies...so I really suggest you look into that.
And of course you have us. You happen to stumble on a awesome group of people here on MedHelp. I can't even begin to tell you how many times the people here have helped me through a bad spell. Please don't hesitate to post on here, even if its just to vent, we are here. Having support from people who are going through the same thing helps you realize you are not alone, not pathetic, and certainly not beyond the point of recovery.
Now go give your mom a hug. And let me know if I can help you find a class. Or if you just need a friend :)
~Crystal
First of all you are not pathetic. I am 32, almost 33 , a mother of two, and engaged to be married. I own my own home, cars, take good care of my kids...and I STILL NEED MY MOM! This post touched me because I too have the same fear. I am so afraid that something is going to happen to my mother, and then my whole world is going to fall apart. As I reach another birthday I realize that not only I am getting older, but so is she, and that causes me so many different emotions I don't know even know where to begin.
I lost my father too, not as early as you did, but about 10 years ago. He was my best friend, so is my mom. So trust me, i completely understand some of your emotions. Being that I have this same problem I don't know how much help I can be right now, I'm still trying to work through my emotions. I can tell you this. Spend quality time with her. Tell her you love her every day. tell her thank you every day. Instead of worrying about her dying, enjoy the precious time God allows you to have left with her. It will cause you less pain when she is gone, trust me.
As far as your problems with conflict....find a conflict resolution class...they are everywhere. Most county health or social services offer them at no cost. I can help you find one if you let me know what county you live in. Only if you are comfortable with that. (I'm not an axe murderer I promise ) Finding a support group or class for that will help you get the tools and skills you need to deal with conflict, and then also help you with keeping a job. I'm guessing a big fear is what will happen to you if you have no job when she dies...so I really suggest you look into that.
And of course you have us. You happen to stumble on a awesome group of people here on MedHelp. I can't even begin to tell you how many times the people here have helped me through a bad spell. Please don't hesitate to post on here, even if its just to vent, we are here. Having support from people who are going through the same thing helps you realize you are not alone, not pathetic, and certainly not beyond the point of recovery.
Now go give your mom a hug. And let me know if I can help you find a class. Or if you just need a friend :)
~Crystal
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