I'm 'afraid' of my girlfriend.

[apcmc]

Hi all. I'm a 19 year old boy. I have a girlfriend for about two months now but I've been handling with a tough situation. I have no doubts that I love her and that I want to be with her, but I don't know why, most of the time that I am with her or thinking about her I get this huge strange sensation in my belly. At the beggining it was like if I was getting a huge injection of adrenaline: my heart rate usually speeds up, i get sweaty, i can't eat, my mind flies from thought to thought... it's like if I was 'afraid' of her. Now it is a bit worse, still feels like I'm geting a big injection of adrenaline but it also gets quite unconfortable and sometimes my stomach hurts. Lots of things have gone through my mind: that i don't really love her, that I'm afraid of losing all the other things around me for being in a relationship, that I'm afraid of comitment, that I'm afraid of the sexual part of the relation due to anything that has happened, I don't know... I just know that I felt the same way after being with my ex-girlfrined for almost 2 years. And has happened again when I was seeing another girl that wasn't even my GF yet, and that's why I thought that it could not be due to being afraid of comitment, but i don't know. It's a really strange feeling, most of the times I wake up already feeling it. I'm sure it has some sort of psychologic trigger behind it but I've done a lot of thinking and can't find what it could be.

[mammo]

Hi.  It sounds like you have a lot of anxiety with being around a girl or in a relationship, and it may all stem from just not being sure of yourself.  It appears that you doubt yourself in many ways when it comes to a relationship, but because you wake up with this anxiety, I think you need to see a specialist to determine what is behind it all.  Anxiety is a burst of adrenaline, but you can learn how to control this and to be more self-assured with therapy.  Therapy can be very interesting in all we learn about ourselves, and will make you more confident and able to understand why you are having this anxiety.  You've done very well in trying to figure it all out on your own, but now you need some help....and that's okay.  Getting help now will give you a strong foundation for future relationships and make you more confident in all of this. Life and relationships can be difficult at any age, it's good that you are nipping this in the bud now. I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best.

[AnnieBrooke]

Maybe it's the possibility of sex, especially if there was some sexual trauma in your past.  Maybe it's the fear of failure -- of not living up to your ideals of love in a relationship.  Given that it's so severe, you would probably get a lot of good from talking to a therapist about the reaction you have.