long, plz read.I need help badly! idk what this is

[lexiboo26]

Hello im 16. A couple days before I started the seventh grade I tried a hole bunch of weed at once and was givin a drink from guys I did not know, my friend drank the same thing!  Well when I was smokinq a hole lot, blunts after blunts, out of stupidity!. Some thing took control of me, it was crazy! My hearinq was all speaker like. I could hear my friend callinq out to me, but it was like very echo like. I felt like everything was seeing was like a screen. Went very small infront of me.. then around the screen was like swirlly things you see off tv.. I was thinking in my head very loudly. . That im stuck, ill never get out of this.. what if im dead , not alivee. What if this is a test. All these thoughts.  I real thought I was dieng. I started t calm and the little screen felt like it went normal again. I was crying out to god really thinking it was a test. N I looked at the two guys which there faces came out n in at mee. I had to get away. My friend antoinettes runninq at me, omg lexi whats wrong, im crying terrified. . N I see the light outside thinking that if I go out in the dark evil will absorb me   so I had t stay in the light. But I had to get back to her house so I pulled myself together.  (Well t make story more short, srry) I went near trees thinking my friend was the devil trying to get me t eat from the apple.. went t her house, thot her house was devil house. The. Right before bed she told me nt to sleep or ill die.. I dd thoo . Terrified as I was.  Needed too. Nx day felt exhausted different. I ended up doing weed rigjt after and every thing was flipping.  I had panic attacks a lot but went away. . But things felt wierd. .. n I was so sad, I changed jerasticlly as a aperson. My panic attacattacks or w.e came back now I'm in tenth,  16. Came back one night after a terrible month of hearing crazy **** about illuminati. I got a panic attack one night and felt js like that trip.  I thot it was a test from god . I thot god was gonna take me. My heart was racing. I thingy mby I was posessed. That I needed an exerces. My grandma held me tite. Put holy water on me. She told me she could feel my heart beat sooooo fast then drop down terribly. That was the time I felt paralized n cud barely speak.  Now every day I feel like im a dream. Feel delusional, feel detached from life. I feel like someone's lifes a test. Whenever I hear about god " devil things It click n makes matters worse. I feel stuck and my heart. Soul mind is being torched by all this. I dont feel alive some times.  That I'm immaginating everything. I feel alone,  stuck,  lost forever. Every time something bad happeneds I think why are they doing this to me. I feel like doom.. like the worlds gonna end.. that imma b in s mental hospital.  I searched scitzo aand I feel like I have that.. but when I read those mental illnesses I feel like im  thinking that, now In bad situations I have those thoughts pop up like wjat if they are planninq against me. I walk w ppl and feel like mybe im imaginating them there.... can someone tell me what they believe this is????????????

[Paxiled]

Just to respond to the above post for anyone using medical marijuana, it doesn't actually do anything if raw.  It has to be cooked in some way, whether baked into food or smoked, for it to do much.  I think the above post is a little overboard in the dangers of marijuana, but it is definitely not the drug for most anxiety sufferers.  On the other hand, it has been shown to help some with PTSD.  What has been shown is whether it's marijuana or pharmaceuticals or toxic chemicals, young brains can be affected adversely more often than adult brains, though none of us is completely safe from what we don't know.

[riverwanderer]

Hello young lady,

I'm 29, and when I was a teen I never experimented with Cannibas.
I will say ongoing research shows it CAN be a medicinal and useful plant, but only when consumed RAW. When cannibas is dried/smoked, the THC becomes activated. THC is directly linked to psychosis and mental disorders. It can cause awful things within the brain. This is scientific fact. Yes, it can de-stress (temporarily) and might be useful for cancer patients so that they can get the 'munchies' - but unelss are you suffering from cancer - DO NOT smoke pot any more. It will ruin your  beautiful young brain. You are in middle school, you're STILL developing, and so is your brain. Your brain will not fully be matured till much later on. Don't cause it harm by smoking this stuff... The good news is you will recover over time. The longer you go without smoking it, the healthier mentally you will become - until you're back to normal. It might take some time to be 'you' again.

[nursegirl6572]

There is a HUGE difference between anxiety and a psychotic illness and to answer your question, NO, they don't usually have that self awareness to KNOW that their thinking is irrational and not in sync with reality.  One of the most common fears of people with chronic and/or severe anxiety is that they're "going crazy".  I've been diagnosed with panic disorder since age 18, I'm 41 now.  I couldn't count how many days (probably weeks or months even) that I spent in total worrying that I would go crazy and guess what?  It hasn't happened yet!  Well, others may disagree, lol, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Keep in touch hon!

[lexiboo26]

Omg you guys are all so helpful . Thank you guys. I have a question though I always ask my fam but they dont know.. does people with scitzo , delusional disorder or any psychosis know they have problems.?
Thank you guys and ill keep posted on what goes on♡

[nursegirl6572]

I agree with Paxiled 100%.  You describe an all too common experience, a "bad trip" basically, with drug induced anxiety, panic, and paranoia.  The thing is, while of course the drug is long gone, the experience has stuck with you and is now causing a lot of anxiety.  The way you describe that you feel, that "detached" from reality feeling sounds a LOT like something called derealization.  You can do some searching and reading about it.  It's commonly caused by chronic severe anxiety and is also often drug induced.  You kind of fit the bill both ways there.

Like Paxiled said, you need to make yourself an appointment with a psychologist/therapist ASAP to start working on changing your thinking.  You've become overly focused on the way you feel, and you're catastrophizing everything, or thinking the worst.

This has nothing to do with good or evil, or the devil or God.  It's anxiety, much like a post traumatic stress kind of reaction.  The experience made a BIG impact on you, and you're now stuck in the vicious cycle of anxious thinking and worrying...the "what if" thinking.  Intensive therapy, preferably with a therapist well versed in CBT, or cognitive behavioral therapy, is the way to go IMO.  Understand that it will take some time before you start to feel significantly better.  Once you learn how to sufficiently dismiss that anxious "what if" thinking and shut it down, you will start to regain the power back and will start to feel better.  It takes time, work, and patience though.

I would STRONGLY urge you to steer completely clear of ANY mind altering substance, drugs, alcohol.  Are you still using drugs?  How about alcohol?  Those substances will make this situation 100 times worse for you.  Just trust me on that one.  That's the very LAST thing you want to do.

One last thing, about medications.  You may be approached with the recommendation of trying a medication to help treat the anxiety as well.  While I'm, for the most part, a supporter of medications when they're warranted, the use of meds in treating teens and young adults is MUCH trickier than in adults.  They frequently aren't tolerated well and can cause much more severe additional problems than the person started with.  I would leave medications as an absolute last resort, and consider it only after you've exhausted all of your options in therapy and with other treatment modalities.   If you DO ever get to the point where you're considering medications, make sure you're being treated by a child/adolescent psychiatrist, rather than a psychiatrist that usually treats adults.  There are so many considerations involved in treating a young person with medications, so it's important to have a specialist manage any medications.  It would have to be a decision made only after very thorough research, taking into consideration all of the risks involved for a teen like yourself.

Hang in there, and please keep us posted on how you're doing.  Talk to your Mom and/or Dad and get the ball rolling on a therapy appointment ASAP.  You're among people here who understand, we've all fought the battle with anxiety, and many of us are still fighting.  You're not abnormal, and you're not crazy.  You have anxiety, and it CAN be treated.

[Paxiled]

I would say go see a psychologist quickly before this becomes an obsession more than it already is.  You had a bad trip on something, probably not weed, probably something laced in the weed such as PCP, or as mentioned above something in the drink.  But weed does bring out whats inside of us, and you now have anxiety inside of you, so again, the above is right about giving up the weed.  You're too young for it anyway, drugs that affect the brain can have a profound effect on a young brain like yours, and marijuana has been bred to be extremely strong.  It's not the mellow stuff that grows naturally and that has been used forever, it's become a very strong drug.  I don't think a doctor can be of much help to you, and if you see one you'll end up being prescribed other strong drugs, so my first step would be to see a psychologist and treat this as a bad experience you need to talk out with someone.  And learn from.  Good luck.

[anxiety860]

Ok. I am going to guess that on the night of the party either A. you were faded with drinking to much and smoking at the same time. or B. Somebody put something in your drink, maybe not your friends, or they put more in your drink.  Honestly I am not going to be much help here.  I would highly, highly advise you to never smoke weed again as it can cause panick attacks. and I would advise you to see your doctor and tell them everything and don't worry about the government.  Maybe talking to a preacher/pastor/ somebody at a church could help you also. Just a thought.  

[lexiboo26]

I dont reallllly believe theyre after me, but I those thots pop up amd feel real at the sec. Today my mom said you can speak to me , in your mom n what popped in my head was are you a demon, and I hurried flushed it out of my brain,  w ii rebuke that! I should of never read the scitzophrenia sites.  & if I was to see a dc im scarried bc what was put into my mind about the society and government.