If your memories are the trigger for your anxiety, they must be very negative and I also strongly recommend you get some therapy. Facing and dealing with these memories head on is the only way they will lose their grip on your life.
You CAN be happy and full of joy. You wonder how long you will have to put up with this crap. The answer is simple. As long as you continue to ignore it.
It really all comes down to YOU.
You ever need/want to talk, we're always here.
I wish you the best.
Peace
Greenlydia
Have you talked to a psychiatrist/psychologist?
If you need to unload your feelings and thoughts, this is a great place to do it.
Most everyone here has suffered uniquely, but we're not alone.
Hang in there.