please help.

[JJ89]

Ok..I don't really know where to start. About 6 mos. ago, I started to get the "blues". Everybody gets the blues, right? Well, the blues lasted for days. I went through bouts of crying that were uncontrollable...meaning I could not stop. I have a wonderful family & my life is pretty full. I have every reason to be a happy mom & wife, so I can't pinpoint any reason why I have these feelings of hopelessness. It's embarrassing to me when people ask me why I'm crying or feeling so sad. This "monster"...what I call it, comes to visit quite frequently now. Mornings are murder!!! I go days feeling as if my life is hopeless & feel I am losing control at times. I have frequent thoughts of suicide...but I'm scared to go the distance. My family is so important to me & I to them, but sometimes I feel I am losing control. I try to explain my feelings to my family, but how can I explain what I don't understand myself. I've never suffered from depression or anxiety...at least I've never been diagnosed or seen by a doc for any of these symptoms. I had the absolute worst day yesterday. Cried all day. What's happening to me & what can I do to be happy again?

[9DodgeFan]

Please go to the doctor!  If you are having suicidal thoughts, you definitely need to get help.  But please realize, there's nothing wrong with seeking help!  The fact that you don't want to go through with suicide is very promising.  It shows that there is something inside you that still wants to live, that wants to beat this!  It's good that you've tried explaining your feelings to your family, but believe me, if someone hasn't experienced depression before, they really can't understand it.  They have no idea how deep and overwhelming the hopelessness can feel.  This isn't their fault, and it's not your fault.  But what you need to do is find a professional who can relate (doctor, psychiatrist), and let them know what's going on so that they can help you get back on the right track.  Please do this!  I wish you well, and please keep us updated as to how you're doing.  God bless!

[dadinTN]

citlopram is the generic I believe...

I went with 10 mg for 6 days to get accustomed to the medicine and had my first full 20 mg dose today.  I actually had a very little nausea (with a dry heave or two).  I'm a little drowsy / foggy but don't know if that's totally the medicine's fault or my body's reaction to the continue anxiety.

If I continue to be drowsy, I'll try to start taking the medicine at dinner or later in the evening rather than at breakfast.

[cathycooley]

sorry for asking this but is celexa the same med as citlopram? i have 10 mg to start but wondered if ur having any side effects?

thanks

[dadinTN]

JJ>>
I had very similar feeling around Christmas with no prior history.  After a week of battling this crud, I went to my MD who gave me great reassurance that more people than you would ever realize need help at some point during their lives.  I am as active as they come and my body basically shut down.  I lost weight, had shortness of breath and basically thought I was going crazy because I couldn't point to the source of my problem.

There is help and I found the best thing for me was to admit it and talk to someone that actually deals with it.  Whether psychologoist, psyciatrist, or MD, you'll quickly find you are more normal than you think and can get help to function.  I am basically on week 1 of Celexa....it hasn't kicked in fully, but just the thought that it is designed to help me makes me able to start my life again.

Good luck.